To think this is weird thing to ask my dp

[Leanback]

Four years ago when my dp was doing his degree he spent a year in America and made quite a few friends there many of whom he is still in touch with.

One woman he was friends with confided in him a lot and still does on texts however they have not seen each other since he left the country. Many of the friends he made out there are female but I have no issue with this personally. I have been with him since before he went away.

Recently this woman has mentioned going travelling around the world a handful of times to him and yesterday she asked him if he wanted to join her for a four month trip. I have no issue with dp going away with friends etc but this made me feel very weird and I said to dp that I wouldn't like it if he took her up on her offer.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

She's only asked but, I reckon she has an ulterior motive. Whether we like or not, there are both women & men on this planet, who have no regards for LTR & will have no shame in pursuing other people

One of DH's female friends knew we were hunting for a flat, and sent him a link to a beautiful 4 bedroom property saying something to the effect of we should get this together. I.e.: she and him, (or perhaps that was meant to include me?), while he was hunting for a flat with me, 2.5 weeks before our wedding.

Just to say there's all sorts of strange folks out there!

I agree with sally above that I'd be at anyone (male or female) who invited someone who's in work and in an LTR for a four month holiday. It sounds like your partner's friend has no idea how real life works!

That is beyond weird! YADNBU

The asking him because she'll feel safe thing actually does make sense! I'm 99% sure that they didn't have a 'thing' as something quite traumatic happened to her whilst he was out there and he was very supportive of that.

I am thinking it is more just lack of awareness of how the real world works more than her trying it on to be honest. Though I do think there is something 'romantic' about travelling the world with another person. I know when I've visited countries without my dp in the past I have had moments where I've thought 'wish dp was here to share this moment'.

Are you kidding or what?

Four months abroad with another woman?

Aye, alright

And 'lack of awareness' , that's just an excuse. She's after him, and she's not shy about showing it.

Was she being completely serious?

I've been having a text conversation with a male friend who is moving to Cape Town with his husband for 6 months for work.
Me saying I'm jealous, him saying I should come with him, it would be amazing, we could go running on the beach together before work and wine tasting at weekends.

We are both happily married, and I'm sure if I replied to say my flights are booked and what address should I ship my stuff to, he would back pedal like mad

But for now, he is being a weird fantasist giving an offer he clearly doesn't mean

Weird to ask.

Assuming you've been together a long time and are clearly in a committed monogamous relationship, it's akin to asking a spouse "hey, ditch your family and come away with me for 4 months." They're not bestie fwends, they're not teenagers, your DP has a partner/family and a job and commitments and to suggest it's time to party like it's 1999 is nuts.

Obviously weird and deal-breaking if he accepts - yes, yes I know there'll be posters going "well I trust my partner so much he is welcome to take 4 months trips with his female friends, because FRIENDS", but whatever.

Would be a deal breaker if I turned around and said 'actually I'm going'.

Now I'm starting to wonder what kind of things he actually says about me to her.