To feel a little hurt by this ...

[Dulra]

Or am I being over sensitive
So I had a significant birthday (40!!!) over the summer and invited my close friends out for the night to a bar with reserved area and laid on food platters cake etc. Had a great night and a couple of friends brought me gifts others not which was fine because we don't generally buy each other presents at birthdays so wasn't expecting anything.

Roll on now and another friend from this group of friends is having a 40th in January. She is having a party at her house. Friends have started messaging each other about putting money together to get a big gift to mark her birthday because it is such a special one and everyone is putting money in (including me) which I am happy to do but I can't help feeling a little hurt that none of them thought to do this for me and wonder why that is? Would others feel a little hurt by this?
Won't be saying anything because I already feel stupid for feeling hurt surely I am big enough and bold enough to get on with it .....

Maybe because you were the first one to turn 40, and they had such a brilliant time at your party, that they realise now that they should have brought gifts.
It's lousy on you because you will probably have to cough up for every party now, despite not receiving gifts yourself. If it was me, I would not contribute to the group gift and get her something yourself, if you want to.
Dont get into the group thing, it's like buying rounds, just say no first time, you are doing your own thing and it saves hassle later on.

In a long winded way, I'm trying to say not to be too upset, I only realised what a shit wedding guest I had been, when I started planning my own wedding, but it was too late to do anything then! Maybe this is similar?

So, don't be upset, but DO delay your 50th party until a few of your friends have had theirs first.