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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to deal with this cheque?

23 replies

HowMuchDoWeNeed · 06/12/2016 19:46

Hello!

Last week I sent my great-uncle a Christmas card. We haven't been in touch all that much as I didn't grow up in the same country as him but have now returned. But I like him and enjoy seeing him (when I do, which is quite rare, generally just when my mum is in town and she's visiting.) I sent him my phone number so we can be in touch.

I think he was rather touched and sent a card back immediately. When I opened it, there was a cheque for £100 inside.

I wasn't expecting this at all. What shall I do? It's so generous. The thought of cashing a cheque from a 90 year old seems off. But I don't want to offend him by sending it back, and letting it languish seems rude too.

I presume he can afford it or he wouldn't have sent it. We have a young son so that's probably on his mind. Present money etc.

What would you do?

OP posts:
MaryManchego · 06/12/2016 19:47

Send him a nice thankyou card and enjoy a treat

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 06/12/2016 19:48

Have a word with your mum and see what she thinks. I'd probably bank it and put at least part of it in DCs savings and then send a thank you from DC.

NavyandWhite · 06/12/2016 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 06/12/2016 19:57

Unless you specifically know that he is hard up then of course you should accept the cheque gracefully and write him a nice thank you letter - and arrange a visit as soon as you an.

My parents are almost in their 90s and positively enjoy giving money away - so long as they get a proper thank you Grin.

Original poster
HowMuchDoWeNeed · 06/12/2016 20:15

Thanks all. You are right. I just didn't want to do the wrong thing.

Will definitely arrange a visit. I've been meaning to anyway, this will sharpen my focus!

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 06/12/2016 20:35

Just cash it and write a lovely thank you letter.

Bulletpr00f · 07/12/2016 00:11

Cash the cheque, call him and arrange a proper visit.
Send him a gift back, unique to him around £50.

Grilledaubergines · 07/12/2016 00:19

Cancel the cheque Grin

buccon · 07/12/2016 00:40

Ahh, I think that's really sweet. I'd cash the cheque and, like other people have said, write a thank you letter but specifically say what you had bought with it and make it something really nice for you! That I'm sure would make him happy!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/12/2016 00:52

My grandmother used to delight in treating familŷ members and nothing pleased her more than a really good thank you letter

TwoGunslingers · 07/12/2016 00:59

I've heard it's a fûcking nightmare to cash a cheque these days

Sounds lovely OP, I would do as others suggest, have a nice treat and send a thank you Smile

ImNotDancing · 07/12/2016 01:16

oh joy less than 12 posts in and a hilairious suggestion to cancel the cheque Hmm

cash it, enjoy a treat and write him a long chatty thank you letter :)

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/12/2016 08:26

twogun

You just pay them into the bank like you would actual money and it takes a few days to clear, no nightmare at all

Topseyt · 07/12/2016 08:57

Of course it isn't a nightmare to pay in a cheque these days. Just present it at the bank and it will clear through in four or five days.

Enjoy it, OP. Tell him about what you bought with it. Thank him well and arrange to visit him.

He sounds lovely, and he wants you to enjoy the money.

NoFucksImAQueen · 07/12/2016 16:39

Haha two was joking, based on a previous thread

BikeRunSki · 07/12/2016 16:42

Write back to him to thank Jim very much.
Cash the cheque.
Keep up the contact with him, he must have been delighted to hear from you.

BikeRunSki · 07/12/2016 16:46

I get what two means. My bank no longer has any branches within about 30 mikes(. I used to be able to pay cheques in at the PO, but we haven't got one of them anymore either. So I posted the cheque I got for my birthday last month, and it's gone missing.

SenecaFalls · 07/12/2016 16:51

On the other thread people said you can deposit checks by mail in the UK with most banks and that their websites contain instructions and deposit slips.

I'm in the US where checks are still fairly common, but we can deposit them by smartphone app.

TwoGunslingers · 07/12/2016 22:53

Yea, sorry, I was just joking because cheques have been causing chaos in MN land recently Grin

Original poster
HowMuchDoWeNeed · 09/12/2016 14:05

Thanks everyone :) Cheque is still sitting there yet to be banked but I will do so. We've caught up by phone and had a lovely chat. He then explained that he gives £50 to everyone (exactly as my lovely departed grandmother did) but that as there are 3 of us he had to up it to £100! He sounded very relaxed about his choice and it doesn't sound like it'll leave him without by any means. When we buy something for DC I'll get a nice photo.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 09/12/2016 15:48

I haven't heard of smartphone apps for dealing with cheques in the UK, though it is possible I am behind the times. I do like the idea though.

In the UK it is an open secret that banks would like to kill off the cheque totally, but the Payments Council stopped them from doing so a few years ago if I remember rightly. It was because a sufficient number of people, quite often (but not exclusively) elderly were not computerised so still needed them and would have been disadvantaged.

My own parents are in that category. No technology or Wi-Fi, and only an absolutely ancient mobile phone which is capable of hardly anything and is almost never turned on.

ValaMalDoran · 09/12/2016 15:50

Cash the cheque, call him and arrange a proper visit.

This

HaveNoSocks · 09/12/2016 16:26

I don't think he would send it if he couldn't afford it. and if he can't spend his money now when will he. I bet he'd prefer you to get yourself a lovely treat and send him a nice thank you note telling him about it then send back the cheque.

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