To think a holiday with young children is not really a holiday?

[TravellingAlongWithYou]

DC aged 6 and 4.
We're abroad on our first family holiday in two years.

I'm not enjoying it and I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying it .

It's just the same monotonous shit in a different place .

They still whine , they still moan , they still don't listen to me

And they still do silly pointless things that create more work for me - such as DC2 jumping up and spilling her milk - after repeatedly being told to sit down . FGS!

I'm now poorly with a cold. DC1 has a cold. I feel like I'm just snapping at them !

I'm exhausted . DH is exhausted so we are also sniping at each other.

Even bedtime in the same apartment is the same bloody nightmare of getting them to sleep !

I want to jump on a plane and come home !

Is it just me ?

I get what you mean op and I only have I child!

We took him to Menorca when he was 3 and he told the whole plane on the way home that "he didn't want to be brought in holiday ever again"

Now he's 10 and Dh and I are going away for DHs Xmas do, I got him to text his own babysitter and make the arrangements for him to stay over! Much better when you can plug them into the iPad!

I quite like going on holiday with the kids (they are 4 and 1) and I will take then anywhere.
Crazy long train journeys, music festivals (as a solo parent), mountain bothy. Anything.
You are right that it's hard work. Like thegirlinthecar said: it's a different kind of holiday. Not relaxing but hopefully still fun.
Fwiw: the most fun we've had is at Haven Berwick with the grandparents along (this even included some time off to read a book and dtd with DH! ).
The least fun was an AI "family" resort where Ds got badly I'll with the runs

I disagree op, holidays with dc are about no housework etc and enjoying seeing them
have fun.
We go to Butlins once a year, a caravan for a week somewhere and a couple of hotel weekend breaks near a child friendly activity.

Depends on where you are I guess. We tended to holiday in U.K more when kids were young Self catered cottages. Same jobs but a change is a as good as a rest.
Now though they are older we do get to read books on a sun lounger again. It's still not the same as Pre dc but fun in a different way. I love showing them the world and it's varied cultures.

We tackled this by making it as easy as possible for us by taking a really good quality self-catering holiday at a family-friendly location each year in the U.K. We went to the same place for several years in a row as they had a nice pool on the complex and we knew where everything was and knew it would be a great break. Then we spend all day wearing them out walking, cycling, swimming, playing on the beach etc to make them tired enough to go to bed at a sensible time. DVD player + wifi, space for football outside, Washing machine so no need to take 500 changes of clothes. We order an on-line shop and Food can be produced to their usual timetable and nothing they would find 'weird'. We get ourselves some good quality ready meals and wine for when they are in bed. Now it's even better as they are old enough to eat out without feeling like you are just burning ten pound notes and also to go downstairs in the morning and fight in front of the tv watch TV while we have a lie-in, but we will probably go somewhere else this year as we have used up all the things to do/see and they are old enough for it to (hopefully?!) be fun doing something else.

I have the opposite opinion, I'd live on holiday if I could! Ds sleeps better on holiday as he's so exhausted with so much going on and he's happy that we're all together as a family (doesn't happen too often due to shifts, weekend work etc.) We've been 3 times this year, and although there have been stressful moments we've loved them. We went on a cruise which I was apprehensive about but that was the best holiday, it catered amazingly for kids. The only stress there was the 4 hour drive to Southampton 😬

It does get better as they get older. Or, at least if you go somewhere with wifi they don't complain (as much) leaving you in peace to sunbathe and read a book. The only downside is even the most crappy hotel in the school holidays will set you back the price of a small car.
When they are small sitting by a pool must be one of the most unrelaxing activities as even a five second lapse in concentration results in someone trying to drown themselves to try and retrieve a leaf or (worse) a used plaster.

You are being precious! If they are like it at home they are like it on holiday...they just haven't got all their shit to occupy them....so wear them out! Suck it up honey for about 18 years!

My DM always maintained that holidays only become holidays again when all your children can a) swim and b) read. I have to say, I think there's an element of truth to it.

I love holidays with the DC, but yes it is the same old shit but with less if the convenience of home.

Ours go to bed about 2 hours later on holiday and they still argue. As DH is around i like to get them to ask daddy for a drink/snack etc for a change and make the most of him being around .

Holidays became more enjoyable as I chilled out and they got older (6&7).

YABU, it's a holiday for them

For the adults, nope, not much of a holiday until the DC are older (and I mean secondary school age but maybe that's just my DC).

We recently spent an astonishingly large amount on our first proper holiday for 6 years- a month in the USA, youngest DC was 5, and in retrospect we wish we'd left it for another year or two (but sick relatives in the USA meant we needed to go sooner rather than later).

I totally agree with you OP. Same shit, different place. Pre-children, my idea of a good holiday is slumping on a hot hot beach with a book, drinking myself into a hazy stupor, not moving for two weeks apart from to eat amazing food. None of that is compatible with children (although we have got lucky, as our 3 year old is the sort who likes eating and isn't too duracell giddy hyperactive, she's pretty sedentary and likes a chat over the table). Nonetheless, I have obviously lowered my expectations substantially and don't expect to relax until they are asleep. But however low my expectations, holidays are always shit UNLESS we go somewhere where we know people with other kids that ours can play with. Our 3 year old is a nightmare otherwise!!

I posted a very similar thread a few months ago when we were on holiday. Same shit, less convenient location. I thought the problem was we'd always gone self catering and we should throw money at the problem and try AI with a kids club. Reading some of these replies has made me think I might just give up on holidays for a few years instead

I love holidays with my DH and DC. Having time with all of us together is wonderful.

However you take your baggage with you in more ways than one. Your issue isn't with your holiday, your issues came with you all.

Think about what changes you can make at home to make things easier all round.

Meanwhile:

The OP and many of the responses are reminding me why I laugh heartily in DH's face whenever he suggests going on holiday with our 4 and 2 year olds. The mere thought makes me want to wibble in a corner.

But then, I always hated travelling and holidays pre-DCs, so doing something I hate with the added feature of 24/7 childcare of two very small children (the youngest of whom is incapable of sleeping anywhere that isn't his house or nursery), sounds like flaming shit on a stick.

I think it is a case of lowering your expectations. For us, throwing money at an all singing all dancing kids club all inclusive left me fucking raging that my kids didn't want to go to the kids club, and even more raging at the fact I'd paid a ridiculous amount of money to eat ok food that I had to fetch myself (don't forget the joy of 'mum, I need tomato sauce', or can you get me a drink please, mum, or, I don't like this can I go up to the buffet again) so the 'ok' food was a bit cold hence less 'ok'.
thankfully they have grown out of it, but for a good few years my kids just wanted to go to Butlins which, off season and with The Sun holidays, was cheap, leaving enough spare to have a child free weekend to somewhere nice (assuming gran parents are willing)

On a cold windy afternoon on a (beautiful) North Devon beach a couple of years ago, just after DS' nappy had leaked and DD was having yet another tantrum, my DH said to me 'this isn't a holiday, it's just life somewhere else'.
This summer we had our first truly relaxing family holiday. Unexpected upgrade to posh hotel by travel agent helped a lot. No housework, suite room so everyone slept well, lovely restaurant, great weather. DCs were 5 and 3. They loved the pool and beach. At times they entertained each other so we could read/ take turns to nap/ swim in the adults only pool. Loved it.

Just to add, I too love spending time with my DC and my DH. I have loads of great holiday memories, but let's be honest, some of it, especially when you have more than one child, is fucking shite. For example, great day at the beach, boys had an amazing time 4 hrs of fab family time, 1 hr of torture as you attempt to desand two small children.

Holidays are fun. No school. No work. Eating nice food. Being relaxed about get up and go to bed times. Getting lots of fresh air. Letting the kids play. Exploring new places (checking out the playground!).

If your children don't usually listen to you and do as you say, they aren't magically going to turn into well behaved children on holiday. Maybe use this as a turning point to establish a more calm relationship shop and have some strategies in place? Obviously it is so child dependent tho - my sisters eldest would have come straight back to you in the sand dune example where as the youngest would have run off like yours did. Then it would have escalated into cross words and then he would be upset that people were cross with him.

I have such nice memories of being on holiday. So sad that my mum might have felt differently! I remember her combing out the tangles from my hair in front of Spanish cartoons. I remember playing in lots of different playgrounds. I remember walking to the beech with her. I remember eating chips for dinner and not being hassled to eat anything more nutritious. I remember having an ice cream every day. I remember playing in the pool with her.

To be fair I am not sure when she would have got much rest...

I've been away quite a few times with toddler DS and it's been lovely to have a change of scene and there are nice bits that I remember, but it's mostly a slog- and that's me being easygoing and having low expectations! It's tricky when you don't have all their stuff, unfamiliar place, dangers so can't relax (pool, steep mountainside etc), missing naps as it's all too exciting but they end up overtired, ferrying so much stuff around. He's a good kid too and it's still hard. I don't regret it but probably won't be doing the same when the next baby comes. I'm hoping it'll get easier when they're older and I don't need to take so much and they are more self sufficient... Maybe not though going from these posts

Dump the table reservations
Dump the fixed bed times
Dump the "we must do this"
and go with the flow - let the kids observations be your guide
and revel in them being young
it will not last long

I love being on holiday with my dc - the best part is no routine . I would never book a table on holiday , just eat where you end up ?