AIBU to suggest to friend we stop buying gifts?

[Shesthebeat]

My friend and I exchange gift/s every year for our children (we both have one child) at Christmas.

This is gonna sound awful but I've had enough of it, it's becoming more and more of a nightmare to meet up to exchange as we both have such busy lifestyles & last year we ended up exchanging in a car park for all of five minutes.

Please don't get me wrong I love the thought of exchanging gifts from one another but I really want to knock it on the head I just don't know how to suggest doing so, please help me, I can't seem to
Find the words without sounding like a total cow!

Btw this friend is just a previous work colleague who I worked with for around a year, we never meet up and only occasionally have a telephone conversation to try and catch up with one another.

My DS will really not miss the extra present as he has more than enough from Santa (DP & I)

Am I being a cow?

She's probably thinking the same as you, if it's got to the point where you're just meeting in a car park for 5 minutes once a year. Somebody's got to be brave and suggest putting a stop to it. Are you feeling brave?

I'd let her know that you're all fully booked until Christmas, suggest a card in the post and meet for a coffee in the new year.

No - I need to go put my big girl pants on 🙈

I feel your pain! I have (had?) a friend like this and I suggested we stop as we so rarely see each other and the kids don't really have a chance to be friends anymore (the gifts were from the kids to each). It went quite well so I assume she felt the same.

I spent years giving presents to my exh's nieces and nephews as after we split up he stopped talking to them, so they dropped presents round to me instead as I then felt obliged to give them gifts in return.

Last Xmas I spoke to the eldest sister (as money was even tighter than usual and suggested we stop this gift exchange and she was more than happy for us all to stop and said she appreciated my speaking honestly. Sooooo pleased I no longer have that to worry about!

No one will ever be anything but delighted at less work to do, plus no UK kid needs more plastic tat . declare a cease fire and meet at a less shitty time of year when rees-mogg can't keep us in darkness.

So true ladies!! I'm just struggling to find the words to use to allow it to sound less harsh!

Wanna kno the funniest bit? Our DC have never even met!

She also seems way keener on this present exchange business way more than me as I'm getting bombarding texts asking when we can meet etc

It might be a bit unfair to cancel it this late - lots of people have already bought their presents. Maybe you could suggest stopping it next year

Think you may be right nickname xx

Damnnn!!!

Yeah I agree you'll have to go through with it this year then broach it around September time next year.

Just say something like 'The dcs get so much, shall we stop doing presents? It would be much nicer to spend the money doing something together like soft play, cinema etc instead?' (Knowing that you'll probably be too busy.. but it sugars the pill)

Nancy that's a good one

Very good one Nancy, I'm debating sending it now and seeing if I can get away with it this year 🙈

Something like;

"Hope you are well? I'm so busy with work and behind with Christmas preparations - shall we skip the present exchange? Would much prefer to meet up for a picnic in the summer!"

And chances are you'll not get round to doing it and thats the end of it.

Ooo Mama you're good - you done this before?

I have a good friend who we exchanged children's gifts with. See her regularly. I just said in October or similar shall we stop doing gifts this year? I said it last year too but she'd already bought....

She was fine, money is tight for both of us, friendship survived! Maybe she is waiting for you to be courageous?

I'm gonna bite the bullet and send a text, wish me luck this could be the end of our friendship!

Even if she's already bought something she can keep it for another child, no big deal.

I think it's too late for this year. If she's trying to arrange a date I imagine she's already got a gift for your dc.

Sorry cross post

I'm actually organising a present collection in work for children in the local community who are underprivileged and will receive very little for Christmas - I would far rather she gave to that than my DS or even if I made an additional donation as opposed to buying her DC