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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you living your ideal life?

58 replies

Clothears123 · 06/12/2016 15:37

Is anyone living their ideal life. Are you? If so, why is it ideal to you and why do you like it so much?

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 06/12/2016 16:07

Close to it yes
Very happy with dp and kids
We have a good income and I love my job (mostly)
Own our house and have paid off mortgage which reduces worry
We work hard and only improvement would be more time to spend with dp and kids

IWantBlueHair · 06/12/2016 16:11

No, not even remotely close.

mickeyjohn · 06/12/2016 16:13

I can't complain! I live in a nice house (normal 3 bed Victorian terrace, nothing fancy but nice enough!), have a great marriage and 2 lovely children who are the light of my life! I'm also lucky in that I love my job - self employed & part time so I get to spend lots of time at home which is ace! I also have a hobby which takes me to loads of places, is really satisfying & keeps me fit & healthy. To make my life ideal though I wouldn't live where we do (I hate it in fact! Boring over developed town and I don't have many local friends despite being here over a decade!) and another grand in the bank a month would be nice Smile I hate worrying about money which is the thing that keeps me up at night more than anything...

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 06/12/2016 16:15

On paper, no. I am battling (in vain) a physical condition which will probably in the end render me disabled, I don't earn loads, I live in a rented house, we are, largely, a bit skint and I have had some truly awful traumatic things happen in my life.
All that said. I am insanely happy. I live with my DP who is honestly my best friend and treats me so well, we are on the same page with our ideas on when we want to have kids, get engaged etc, I have my lovely little dog, our house is pretty cute, I enjoy my job, we have a goal of going travelling together next year before saving properly for a house.. My life is happy and I am very content with my lot.

littlesallyracket · 06/12/2016 16:15

I'm not living my ideal life, no. In my ideal life I'd be living in a beautiful old house with a lovely view, neither DP nor I would need to work and would somehow be independently wealthy (or I would be a bestselling novelist) and I'd have a dog. I'd also like to be nearer my family.

However, I am lucky in most ways. DP is absolutely 100% the ideal man for me; I'm very happy with our relationship and have been for the 14 years we've been together. We moved house recently and although the new place has loads of things that need putting right and that's a bit stressful it will be nice when we're done, and we have a decent amount of space for the two of us. Although neither of us would ever choose to go to work if not working was an option, our jobs are OK I suppose and we work with nice people. We have enough money to get by and although we certainly can't just buy anything we want - not in a million years - we can have a little holiday every summer, the odd weekend away and the odd meal out or trip to the theatre. We don't have kids but I didn't really want any. So I feel fairly lucky, overall.

I agree with people saying they feel bad talking about their mental issues when they are so lucky. I'm the same. I remember going to the GP a couple of years ago and saying 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with my life at all but I just want to die and I feel so ungrateful' and bursting into tears. Blush Luckily I'm much better now.

Grumpyoldblonde · 06/12/2016 16:18

No, it's all gone tits up.

SixtiesChildOfWildBlueSkies · 06/12/2016 16:19

You've started 4 threads - all today - with no previous. After reading your thread about revenge, I wouldn't be telling you anything about my life - or anything else as you really seem to want to know too much - are you a researcher?

grounddown · 06/12/2016 16:20

I love my life but it's not what I thought it would be when I was younger.
I'm a single parent, living mega frugally to make ends meet which I actually enjoy doing and working 2 days a week in a job which is terribly paid but I love it.
People keep asking me when I'm going to meet a man but to be honest I don't think that would make my like any better, I love the little house we live in and the simple life we live. I'm really happy.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 06/12/2016 16:23

pretty much, we have a house, savings, DH is about to retire early with a decent pension, we holiday well, eat well, have car each and live easily within our means. we have everything we want and are not extravagant at all, only downside for me is that I would like to retire early too but my pension is crap Sad

NickyEds · 06/12/2016 16:25

I'm not convinced anyone really does live an 'ideal life'. I think there's always " If only I had/did/could....etc". If we could afford to buy the house we rent my life would be pretty much perfect....but we can't! On the whole I'm happy with my lot, good relationship, two beautiful children, lovely family and friends, no serious money worries, I'm a SAHM which is what I always wanted. Not ideal but still pretty wonderful.

reindeerbitesback · 06/12/2016 16:28

I've never really given much thought to this. I suppose I feel I'm living my ideal life backwards.

  • I had my first children while single and at university (ideally I'd have started a family in my 30s - I got my degree though)
  • I started working in a job in a different sector once I graduated so I could be there for my children (work from home) (ideally I would have travelled for a few years before doing my masters)
  • I just moved into a HOUSE (I've lived in flats all my life and never saw myself as a house person... I don't know why)
  • I'm getting married at the end of the month to a man with children (again, ideally I didn't plan to marry or have a family until my 30s)
  • I'm supposed to be starting my masters next September but I recently found out that I'm pregnant so that might not happen now (it will eventually) but I have started working part time in the industry so making slow steps.

I don't know, a lot of my friends that are my age (mid 20s) think that my life is ideal, but I know my goals so do occasionally envy my other friends that are travelling and pushing on with their careers. That being said I'm quite satisfied with my family life for now, I do have itchy feet on the travel and career front though! Also, ideally I wouldn't have severe anxiety issues - aha!

Happyoutlook · 06/12/2016 16:29

Yes we are since we left the U.K. We now have great jobs, house, cars etc which we could never have had in the U.K. We still have to save up for things but I like that it means you appreciate it more if you have to work for it

Gowgirl · 06/12/2016 16:30

Pretty close, live in my dream city, 3 beautiful dcs and a dh who swept me off to Venice last weekend, I would like to write and have a novel published but that I probably the only thing 'missing' from the vison of ideal that was bloody impossible as a teen ager/ younger adult.

I'm very lucky and I'm thankful for my life on a daily basis.

NooNooHead · 06/12/2016 16:44

No... Although outwardly I have a beautiful daughter, amazing and supportive husband and wonderful family and friends, we are constantly on the breadline despite having a detached 4-bed house and hubby working full time in London. I work part time from home so I am v lucky in that respect but I earn less now than I did when I was first earning a decade ago...! 🤔🙄

My health had been brilliantly up until last year when I had a head injury, mental breakdown and severe anxiety. To top it all off, I got a drug induced movement disorder which is uncurable - so I deal with that and post concussion syndrome every day.

I could say 'woe is me' but I've had enough of feeling sorry for myself. Life is great from the outside but I do have so much more that I had aspired to and envisaged by now. 😳😥😔

NooNooHead · 06/12/2016 16:45

*incurable - stupid phone!

BertieBotts · 06/12/2016 16:51

No, but it's not terrible.

Frankly I'd be a bit surprised if I was living my ideal life at the age of 28!

fussychica · 06/12/2016 16:54

Almost but not quite. Retired, very happily married with a lovely grown up DS. Spend about 4 or 5 months a year living abroad but would ideally like it to be a bit more but can't for various reasons. Fortunately, we are both well and financially ok but many people wouldn't think so and can't understand how we can afford to do what we do.

MrsBobDylan · 06/12/2016 16:56

Yes. After a less than ideal childhood, I was expecting a shit adulthood. But met dh at 28 and have been happy ever since. I have been in counselling for a long time trying to come to terms with the years I lost in childhood and to rectify some of the damage done, but everyday I can, hand on heart, say that being with dh and the kids makes me feel content and happy.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 06/12/2016 16:57

Actually yes!
I have interesting part time work, enough money, lots of time with my kids who are both healthy and mostly well behaved.
A DH who, while irritating in many ways, is basically a decent bloke.
A reasonable circle of interesting friends.
Yep- pretty good.

therealsquireofwideacre · 06/12/2016 17:03

If it was ideal there would be nothing to hope for.

ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 06/12/2016 17:04

yes I would say so but I work too often in the evenings. I loathe it. Apart from that I'm a happy bunny really

HyacinthFuckit · 06/12/2016 17:12

No, by now I wanted to have invented negative calorie cake and have a fatter wallet and thinner arse because of it.

AndShesGone · 06/12/2016 17:25

It's tantalisingly within reach

Literally 3 weeks away. I'm just about to move. I work 15 hours a week and can afford to live somewhere lovely.

I have a new puppy and a very lovely dh. Plus I'm going to get to go on holiday next year for the first time in 14 years.

Life is really looking up (I'm ignoring the dodgy hips and knees)

flapinko · 06/12/2016 17:31

Pretty close in that I have a lovely DH, two great kids (tho' one causes me no end of anxiety..), some great friends, my health, and we live in an area that I absolutely love.

The things that keep it from being ideal:

  • a DH with some serious health issues
  • a job that feels like a slog and currently earns very little income
  • a house that's not quite big enough for the 4 of us, and no possibility of moving to anything bigger in our area (we can't afford it)
  • ageing, sick parents who also cause me no end of anxiety
  • a precarious financial situation with very little in the way of savings or pension provision

Oh, and holiday cottage by the sea would make it ideal.. But nobody has really has all that, do they? Most days, I count my blessings.

flapinko · 06/12/2016 17:32

If it was ideal there would be nothing to hope for

Agree with this too!