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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stay in my job because 40something women (particular mums) need representation in management in UK businesses, or to jack it in because I'm going to have to embark on a battle I may not win

11 replies

TeaandSympathy4me · 06/12/2016 14:37

I have worked my butt off the last few weeks at work. Several projects completed and all okay. Then the big project - I could see I was going to struggle but my boss very kindly (sarcasm) was off sick when I needed her to look at stuff. I have a feeling she is struggling with workload (but she does insist on doing everyone's jobs i.e. no delegation). Then of course big project has loads of holes probs with it; I get the blame. Also boss accused me of lacking confidence (I have 12 years more experience than her and have worked in many other companies than she has - in a good way they would have me back) yet she undermines my confidence by bringing up little anecdotes in the office to put me down. I do get the job done, maybe not in the brutal way she wants it done because I want my staff to feel motivated. Thing is she has pressures on her. So what do I do.... I'm 47 got 9 and 5 year old children. The stress at work is not helping with DH either. My boss is a single parent and turned round to me once and said 'but you have DH' when I said I needed help with childcare. Also not entirely unconvinced she is in a RL with our big boss...

OP posts:
restinginmyaccount · 06/12/2016 14:49

I get that you are frustrated and pissed off but not sure slagging off your female boss and saying she is sleeping with a higher up boss does you much credit.

WaggyMama · 06/12/2016 14:56

Go to work, do your job, come home again. When you are the boss you get to call the shots.

Make sure you have accessed all training your company can offer/fund, then look for another job.

ChicRock · 06/12/2016 15:01

As a 40 something mum I'm quite happy for you not to represent me thanks, particularly after the unpleasant way you talk about your own female boss.

carefreeeee · 06/12/2016 15:03

You clearly have a problem with not getting on with your (female) boss. I don't know what this has to do with mothers needing representation in UK businesses?

Have confidence in your own abilities and if you could do a good job in another company, then go and do so. I don't see how you can successfully work with your current boss as you clearly have no respect for her.

29redshoes · 06/12/2016 15:04

Find a new job working for someone you get on with better?

TeaandSympathy4me · 06/12/2016 15:11

I think I am best looking for another job. It's just that several other (women) who worked in my department have left because of her. Maybe I didn't articulate myself very well. A close friend of mine - who just turned 50 - has given me a hard time about staying in my job (I'm in HR) because she got made redundant and has convinced there is a conspiracy around older women. I have to say I'm struggling a bit with the menopause and symptoms so probably not the best place to post this. Was looking for support. And for what it's worth I've hauled my backside to make sure where I have worked flexi hours/working from home allowed my staff (namely women with children) to have full time jobs that allowed them a work life balance. So I don't really like the comments inferring I',m 'hating' my boss. I'm just wondering if it's time to look for a new career!

OP posts:
restinginmyaccount · 06/12/2016 15:14

I'm 50 too. Dressing hatred of your boss up as some sort of clarion call for older working mums is not great.
Get another job.

TeaandSympathy4me · 06/12/2016 15:16

Resting Hatred is a strong word, but yes you are right - I need to get another job, maybe one where I can work as a team!

OP posts:
restinginmyaccount · 06/12/2016 15:19

I'd have masses of sympathy for you if you didn't try and make a wider CAUSE out of it. You obviously do a great deal to help your team and it is shit that you have friction with your boss despite your hard work. It's not more than that but nor is it less than that.
Good luck in the job hunt.

SenseiWoo · 06/12/2016 15:32

A close friend of mine - who just turned 50 - has given me a hard time about staying in my job (I'm in HR) because she got made redundant and has convinced there is a conspiracy around older women.

That was nice of her, NOT!. I think some of the answers have been a bit too harsh. Ifyou feel moving on is the best thing for you, do it. Don't sacrifice your needs and wants as an individual for an invisible role as a representative.

29redshoes · 06/12/2016 15:45

Sorry you're not feeling great at the moment. You sound like you have lots of strengths in the workplace which some colleagues do appreciate. Good luck finding a new role Flowers

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