Year 7 friendships are far too complicated.

[FoolishFly]

So DD's just moved to secondary school and in the last few weeks all the main plot points of 'Mean Girls' have played out. New friends, primary school loyalties, hormones seem to make every day unpredictable.

When will it settle down and is it always so mean?

We have avoided this so far by sending our dc to a high school that doesn't have many children from their primary*. Being forced to start over rather than carry on with the same friendship groups has worked out well for them so far.

*Not the reason why we've sent them there btw.

And now Laiste you say this might last till 18.....what about my sanity......

Sanity goes out the window when you've got teens. You just get good at maintaining a front. Most of the time :)

DD hasn't been upset by this lot for years. So it's ok. It's just that she likes to peer at their lives on social media while keeping a good distance. We live ruraly and all the kids in the surrounding villages know each other and keep up what they're all up to.

My daughter is now in year 9, and it has actually got better.

Year 7 was just awful - there was a lot of arguments, and chopping and changing friendship groups. There was a lot of emphasis on being popular and cool - which seems to breed a lot of disloyalty and bitchiness. This carried on in year 8 - and I think it got worse to be honest.
In the summer holidays, DD had a huge falling out with her BFF, and returned to school with a new attitude. She made a decision to ditch all the dramas and started hanging round with a really nice, large mixed group who are very accepting of eachother's individuality, and don't spend vast amounts of time on social media. She is much happier, and there's not been one argument in the past 3 months.

As Bibbity said, it's about finding your feet. I feel like I've sat and watched my daughter working it all out - which has been so difficult at times. Thankfully it hasn't taken her too long to find some good friends.

At least people these days don't comfort teenagers by saying "Best years of your life"

My parents used to trot that one out, so depressing. For me work has never involved being face to face and picked last, scrabbling to find a partner every hour for a project or the claustrophobic atmosphere of being in a group so homogeneous that petty fashion trends decide social standing.

Have my optimistic school pick up front on, can't wait for the holidays. Seeing it through DD's eyes brings up all sorts of long buried, petty memories.Three months ago, I'd have said my secondary school friends were all rather lovely, I'd forgotten the peer pressure and the insecurity bits.