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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Skint at Christmas

115 replies

Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:25

As the subject states, had a good year over all but due to a few weeks of REALLY crap luck we are totally skint, and it's making me miserable and hate Christmas, I feel like throwing my remote at the tele at allllll the advert, hate going out and seeing everyone jolly AF and spending away, My mood is totally low and I just want Christmas to F off, AIBU to be a misery guts??

OP posts:
Paulat2112 · 06/12/2016 11:27

Don't be so down! :) think of all the good things going on in your life instead.

FizzBombBathTime · 06/12/2016 11:29

YANBU

I hate the ads too

cant imagine how much it costs to have a Christmas like an advert Christmas

stick on a summery dvd so you avoid the ads, stay in and chill

Wookiecookies · 06/12/2016 11:30

No YANBU, its a difficult time for manyi. Your circumstances.

Perhaps just have a pared back christmas, bake some bits and pieces for comfort and just watch a good film or two. Try not to build it all up too much.

If you are really desperate for cash, do you have any things that need clearing out that you could sell on facebook selling pages? You could have cold hard cash in your hand by the end of the day if you pop some pics up of any junk you need rid of?

Wookiecookies · 06/12/2016 11:30

Many in (damn phone)

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:34

Were in the middle of moving so I'm getting rid of loads of bits we don't need but then need stuff for the house that we literally can't go without. I've two kids and it's just killing me, so annoyed that DH says we will be ok in new year Hmm but what use is that now

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/12/2016 11:35

Of course YANBU. I think unless you're a millionaire or eating in excess of 1000's a week. Christmas is a stressful time for most of us. You're just expected to miraculously find all this extra money from the money tree. Hmm. And as for getting a loan. Well we all know the arl joke don't we. To get a loan. You first of all have to prove that you don't need one.
However. One thing I will say to you though. All those jolly people spending like its going out of fashion. They've probably maxed up their card to hilt. They perhaps won't be so jolly in January when the dreaded bills come through the door.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/12/2016 11:36

Its sad that Christmas has became so commercialized. People seem to have forgotten the real meaning of Christmas

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:38

I can just afford a food shop for normal food at a cheap supermarket and then I see all the lovely Christmas treats on the shelfs and I can't buy them! I fear I may go crazy one day and throw everything off the display Grin

OP posts:
Maudlinmaud · 06/12/2016 11:40

Op try not to stress. Christmas spend culture is madness and unnecessary. Just get the basics.

FizzBombBathTime · 06/12/2016 11:40

Agree with spider, people get themselves in financial trouble to make it look like they are having a great time and have the latest stuff. It's not worth the stress of having the bailiffs knocking.

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:40

Babyspider agreed! People try to cheer me up and say 'don't get the kids much it's about been together' which will not please my seven year old when she sees that Santa has hardly bothered, she's not spoilt by any means but 5 gifts will not cut it. My other DD isn't even 1 so she won't have a clue

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/12/2016 11:40

Earning not eating FFS. We would all be skint if we ate 1,000s of pounds a week. Grin

user1477282676 · 06/12/2016 11:42

It's hard isn't it? I see people going to Pantos and spending money at Christmas markets...and I'm working out how on earth I can get gifts for friends and their kids as well as my own!

FizzBombBathTime · 06/12/2016 11:42

So she might be annoyed for a bit that she didn't get a big pile of presents, but if you get into difficulty trying to buy her that stuff and end up in dire straits, it would traumatise her a lot more. She will get over it! She's got sensible parents, she's lucky

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:45

My credit it crap anyway so I couldn't get into debt even if I wanted to (I don't) annoys me that the adverts show wonderful expensive gifts and then a payday loan advert straight after , its just not right. Im seeing all the faults around Christmas rather than enjoying it.
To add to it I can't even afford a bloody grotto visit Angry

OP posts:
FizzBombBathTime · 06/12/2016 11:47

I've seen a new credit company had started churning out ads recently. It's aimed at single mothers on benefits (they say as much in the advert) and it makes my stomach churn with anger.

Do the round table do a drive by in the sleigh where you live? Then at least your girl gets to wave/ see him?

mrscarrotironfoundersson · 06/12/2016 11:51

We're skint too, the other thread on here about "my sister doesn't want to exchange presents" decended into advice of "just tell her to buy token gifts" well a token gift of £10 or so is fine, but when you're buying for siblings, their partners and their children you've spent £200 before you even look at your own children. We're trying to have a very pared down Christmas and explained it to family, they make all the right noises but now they're still buying us "a few bits" ... People say its lovely to buy things for others and they enjoy it without expecting anything in return but do they think for a moment that it makes the receiver feel like fucking shit?

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:53

We spoke to DH's mum who really isn't short of money and she said get a crisis loan, I nearly spat my tea out. For one we wouldn't even qualify as we are not in a 'crisis' combined we earn £60k+ problem is I'm literally right at the end of Mat leave and never qualified for mat pay and DH is between jobs, left old one and new start date was put back by 3 weeks!!!! There's some other bits aswell but won't bore you all, so as I say, Jan will be fine but as for now it's grim. All spare cash has gone on the move

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 06/12/2016 11:53

Handbrake has gone on my car, cost £250 so far this week and needs another £200 as soon as I can get the money together. Luckily I bought all the kids presents last month but not sure about the rest of xmas!

mumontherun14 · 06/12/2016 11:54

Hey I feel a bit the same. I know it will all end up ok and we will have a nice time but I am also dreading it a bit as we are pretty skint and have 2 sets of family visiting and will be hosting a few dinners and stuff for them as my parents are elderly and my mum is ill. My in laws and sister (the visitors) are considerably better off than we are and I feel a bit guilty at this time of year that we can't afford to join in with everything they want to do when they are here. e.g days out and dinners out as we are buying in extra shopping etc for dinners and lunches for them at ours. They are always very kind and don't make a big deal of it. I can't wait to see them but it is making me a bit anxious worrying about how we will pay for it all as well as Christmas gifts and the kids gifts. I wish I had saved more earlier in the year - note to self for next year...If I had any tips it would be to do as much free fun stuff as you can to brighten yourself up e.g winter walks, local Christmas stuff, carols, putting the tree up and switch off the tv ads and social media as it just makes you feel inadequate. Get a good Christmas book from the library and have a hot bath with candles when you can. Go to Aldi and Lidl for shopping their christmas food is just as nice. You will manage and the kids will have a good time and be none the wiser and you can start afresh with the finances in the new year...all the best xxxx

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 11:57

Carrot I agree!!!
I've told siblings I can't afford and their kid are getting books, they will turn their noses up but its better than nothing as they're all really young. I have 13 nieces and nephews all under 7.
I've told people to not buy me anything at all which I truly mean. We are having a Christmas Eve buffet/house warming so that can be my way of showing my appreciation and Christmas spirit!! Just hope they all like Iceland prawn rings Grin

OP posts:
starsorwater · 06/12/2016 11:57

Sounds like you are getting a new home for Christmas, 60k an impossible dream for most of us, stop watching the ads any in 2 weeks it will all be slimming stuff and how to cook for twenty for 50p.

Mishegoss · 06/12/2016 11:58

Have a real look around your house and see what you could sell on Facebook or eBay. I've raised about £150 from selling bits and bobs the past couple of weeks. Not a vast sum but it certainly helps at this time of year.
Easier said than done but try not to compare yourself to others. Even the ones with loads of money and the "perfect" Christmas may have family or relationship issues etc. You just see the facade.

Original poster
Soyouare2faced · 06/12/2016 12:01

Thankyou on the run.
It is good to know people struggle and find it hard aswell and I'm not alone !! It's horrible when everyone looks so bloody jolly and inside in miserable. I think men don't get the bloody half of it so that's why DH doesn't see it like I do

OP posts:
Frouby · 06/12/2016 12:01

Yabu.

Dp is self employed. Over the last 10 years we have had various feast or famine Christmases. I have always enjoyed the famine ones more.

I do appreciate what being truely skint at Christmas is like. But it sounds as though come January you will be ok. Or at least within the first 3 months of the year. Lots of people are permanently living in poverty.