WhatsApp group removal AIBU

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I'm probably definitely over-thinking this, but would appreciate some advice please. For what it's worth, it's a very, very minor thing to worry about. I would just be interested to hear your thoughts.

I recently resigned from teacher training. Before resigning, I was added by another trainee to a WhatsApp group with other trainee colleagues at the school where I was based. The trainee who added me to the group is also my housemate. Unfortunately, however, we don't really see eye to eye and I've been finding it quite difficult to live in the house that we rent. We also didn't know each other before moving into the rented house.

I've just found out that my housemate has just removed me from the group. As I've now resigned from training and from the school, I do understand why my housemate has removed me. However, I enjoyed just knowing what was going on in rhe group and just feeling a part of things. I do intend to keep in touch with the other trainees in the group.

I was thinking of (childishly?) sending a message to the trainee to ask why I was removed from the group. I am being unreasonable, aren't I?

Yes

As you say that you do understand why they removed you, then yes, YABU.

Nope, I'd ask too!
Before I left my last job (i was in a what's app group with colleagues) I made sure they wouldn't remove me, maybe that's just me?? I'm quite up front and honest

However, yanbu to just ask

Yes, you are.

I often leave it for people to remove themselves from groups rather than me doing it, its sounds like you two really don't get on.
Don't ask why you were removed-keep your dignity.

Personally I think removing people from groups without telling them is a little blunt and rude. I wouldn't bother asking why but YANBU to feel a little sore.

Thanks, everyone. Exactly, Notmyweek - I didn't think it was very polite. I think it's seeing the wording used on WhatsApp as well that made me a bit upset - "X has removed you." Obviously my housemate cannot be blamed for WhatsApp's 'spade is a spade' choice of words

Exactly, Candle and Raggy - the removal came across as rude. And thank you Raggy - I think keeping my dignity is the key here really. It would be better if I just keep quiet about it, right?

I can see both pov. It depends on what the chat was about I guess and whether confidential info was shared that someone outside the school shouldn't be knowing?

I've been on the other side of this... I was in a work WhatsApp with some clients. I left the job in late October; they made a point of not removing me from the group, but it means it's sort-of awkward if they use it now (am I supposed to reply?!) and they don't really use it, when it used to be daily. I presume there's now a second group without me in it.

It was a trainee teacher group, and you're no longer a trainee teacher, so it makes sense to remove you so it doesn't get derailed. Don't take it personally.

WhatsApp's wording is a bit blunt! Even if someone chooses to leave, it looks arsey.

Thanks, Purple - absolutely, that's very true.

Thanks as well for your post, Anchor - yes, you're absolutely right. WhatsApp's wording either way, whether someone is removed from a group or whether they choose to leave, is rather blunt.

I think if you want to stay in touch with the others, you need to do so independently. 'Watching them work' via their group would quickly become odd.

Obviously you aren't going to stay in touch with the housemate.

Yes, yes you are.

No worries :) I hope you're doing okay.

Yeah, you need to let it go.

hope you are ok OP, you still have to live with that person...

Thanks for your posts and advice, everyone :) I really appreciate it.