DH doesn't want another, I do, he's gets to decide but I'm sad...

[ThreeMcDee]

I know, I know, I know 'person who doesn't want another child gets the final say' so IABU, but...

I'm 37 and have 2 dc, one boy, one girl aged 1 (nearly 2) and 3 and I really want a third. DH doesn't for many reasons and they all make sense, he's 43 and he thinks we have enough on our hands.

I'm not going to list all the arguments for and against.

This sounds awful but I just yearn for the newborn stage again, I love it! I can't imagine not being pregnant again and not holding a tiny baby again.

I do realise I'm very lucky to have experienced it twice.

I guess what I'm asking is did anyone come to terms with broodiness knowing they would never have another baby?

I have this empty feeling that I have to keep buried and I know that sounds awful.

Does this make sense?

Your kids are very young. I don't mean to patronise, but a lot of it is hormones. During the first year or two of both my dc lives I longed for the next one, it's sort of addictive.
Wait til your youngest is 3 or 4, you might find the feeling passes.
It may not, and if so you have my sympathies, but just appreciate the ones you have already. There are other stages than newborn which can be just as amazing.

I just yearn for the newborn stage again

I think lots of women feel like this....it is biology to keep us pro creating!

Remember though the newborn stage is very very short....then you have years and years of toddlerhood, childhood and teenagers to deal with

It's fine to feel sad about it by the way

I felt like this after my fourth child, I was desperate for one more (newborn/first 6wks are my favourite). Then ds started nursery for 2hrs at older children's school when he was 3 and now he's just turned 4 and I couldn't imagine anything worse than going back to having a baby. 4yr old sleeps 7-8 every day eats like a hog and is very easy in that he will sit through the cinema, plays nicely with siblings and life is nice.

Our 1st DD is 10 and our 2nd DD will be 3 next month so a huge gap but after DD2 was born we both craved a third child and we both said it but kept putting it off. Gradually the feeling passed and we decided against anymore. More myself than husband pushing towards no more.

I desperately wanted a third but my husband was adamant that we had no more. I endured 2 periods of intense broodiness, the 2nd was in the lead up to his vasectomy and was far more difficult to cope with. But cope I did and I got over it. My sympathies to you

YANBU. We nearly separated over this issue. We had 2 DC and I really wanted another. Nothing to do with wanting another BABY but i had such a strong feeling that I wanted 3 children.

He also had lots of practical reasons for not wanting no.3 but that is what hurt me so much - he felt his "we'd need a bigger house/car" "don't want more sleepless nights (even though he never got up with DC1 or 2) reasons trumped my needs/feelings/emotions.

I think for me it was the feeling that he had all the control and I had none that made things worse. I felt this immense pull to grow our family, he didn't but instead of us talking it through, he would just trot out a list of his reasons - I guess what I am trying to say is that I felt, for years, that he wasn't acknowledging my loss. Might sound dramatic but it felt like an enormous loss at the time.

We had counselling to deal with it. It helped. I occasionally still wonder what life would have been like with 3 but I am very grateful for my 2 DC and it doesn't detract from my relationship with them. I rarely think about it now. I feel for you OP.

Yes I felt like this (still do occasionally) and yes it's got easier with time. It did take years to come to terms with though. The good news is that these days I actually think he was right.