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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School place, AIBU?

28 replies

Nord · 05/12/2016 15:54

I have four DC. My middle two are still at primary school (Y2 and Y4). It's a great school (oversubscribed) and they're very happy there.

We moved to a more affordable area a year ago so aren't in the catchment area anymore. I considered moving them but they have had a lot of disruption (2 house moves, parents divorcing) over the past 4 years and desperately wanted to stay at the school. My Y2 son has selective mutism and has only just started to come out of his shell with lots of help from school.

I now have a new baby. My Y2 son will be in Y6 when the baby is due to start school but the baby likely won't get into the school... Do I move them both now or later? What would you do?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 05/12/2016 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatriciaHolm · 05/12/2016 15:57

Have you checked that the school doesn't have a sibling priority criteria? Many do, especially primaries - less so secondaries.

PatriciaHolm · 05/12/2016 15:59

Also - you will only have 1 year of different primaries, if I read that right and your baby doesn't get in - one year of a Yr6 at one school and a reception at another. That sounds manageable anyway.

Original poster
Nord · 05/12/2016 16:00

Thanks, the sibling rule was abolished last year and even then it only applied if the siblings were in the infant school, not the juniors.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 05/12/2016 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andbabymakesthree · 05/12/2016 16:03

You'll have one year if two potentially different school runs. I'd leave them for now. However consider the secondary schools in your area and whether and move prior to year 6 might benefit that.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 05/12/2016 16:07

If your DS has selective mutism and the school are being successful in helping him overcome it, for gawds sake, don't move him. One of my DDs had the same issue when she was at primary (and before actually) and unfortunately despite us all trying very hard she never really overcame it, she now has social anxiety as a teen and believe me it is awful. We're working our way through it but if I had a time machine and could go back to when she was tiny, and find a school better equipped to help her early on, I would do.

scrappydappydoo · 05/12/2016 16:08

I would leave them for the moment but review it every so often - maybe when your eldest goes to secondary? A lot can change so your yr2 maybe a far more confident yr4 and more able to cope with a move.

Original poster
Nord · 05/12/2016 16:19

The other worry is that if I move him as he starts Y6 he'll suffer with his SATS...

I don't know how we would could cope with 2 school runs, wouldn't one of them always be late?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nord · 05/12/2016 16:20

I wonder if the academy plans go through whether we might stand a better chance at appealing?

OP posts:
Evalina · 05/12/2016 16:26

Some schools have different drop off and pick up times, otherwise you might be able to find someone to share school runs with, if another parent who lives near you is in the same situation.

Often there will be childminders that can have one child before/after school for an hour to help with the timings, plus after school and breakfast clubs. DC's other parent might also be able to do some school runs - lots of options really - so I wouldn't worry about it until you need to.

Really, if your DC are settled at school and they've had a lot of change, including a new baby in the family, they will really benefit from staying at the school they are currently in.

user1480946351 · 05/12/2016 16:31

Why would you move them at all? They'll be going to a different school for y7, so what if you have kids in different schools for a year?
I don't understand why this is even a question.

harderandharder2breathe · 05/12/2016 16:35

For the sake of a year of shitty school runs I'd leave the older ones where they are, especially given the issues you've mentioned

When the baby starts school, hopefully you can sort something out with wraparound care for the eldest.

Is the new baby with a current partner as opposed to ex husband? If so, they should be able to help drop one off at one school while you do the other.

allowlsthinkalot · 05/12/2016 16:35

A year of separate schools - ons of them would have to go to breakfast club? Infants and juniors usually finish at different times?

KittensKidsAndKisses · 05/12/2016 16:35

Definitely don't move your DC.

If you're not in the catchment area then baby will have to go to a different primary. I'd cross that bridge nearer the time tbh.

frikadela01 · 05/12/2016 16:45

A lot can change in 4 years. Leave them where they are.

LIZS · 05/12/2016 16:49

Is there a breakfast and/or after school club your y6 could attend. Or someone ie. Ex, Sibling or cm could do a drop off. Tbh you are overthinking this so far down the line when things may change in the meantime.

WyfOfBathe · 05/12/2016 16:50

The Y6 child might be able to make their own way to and from school anyway, presuming you haven't moved too far away. If not, one of them could go to before/after school club or a childminder.

They'll move to secondary after a year anyway, and then you'll definitely have them at different schools.

OddBoots · 05/12/2016 16:54

How far away have you moved? Are you still walking distance? By Y6 your DS might be fine walking himself there and back if so.

Allthebestnamesareused · 05/12/2016 16:58

By year 6 you will probably be able to drop him off earlier for breakfast club for example and get to the other school in time for the reception one.

I suspect for at least half a term the reception one will have "odd" start and finish times anyway

PurpleMinionMummy · 05/12/2016 17:01

Anything could happen between now and then. Worry about it in 3/4 years time!

Original poster
Nord · 05/12/2016 21:42

We live about 15 minutes drive, so not very close!

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 05/12/2016 22:05

I'd leave them. I've got 3 kids in 2 different primary schools (we moved long way, no places for all 3 in one school). They've had big life disruption since then including us having to move again, further away from their schools. I think the security of school has stopped them from being really badly affected (of course they are affected). I'm a single mum- the eldest two I drop off early at their school as they are big enough to look after themselves for 15 mins, then take the youngest to school, and I use after school clubs in the PM. Some days are technically impossible but the schools are always understanding and we manage to work something out. It's do-able, and you get used to it.

ProudAS · 05/12/2016 22:09

He will be in Y6 when youngest starts school. Will he still need you to take him then?

SepticSue · 06/12/2016 16:38

Leave them where they are. Drop the Y6 off at 8.30 and then drive on to the second school, if you need to.

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