To have a phone conversation on the bus?

[LauderSyme]

I travelled to work by bus today and thought I'd use the time to call my grandmother on my mobile. I work full time and am a single parent so finding the time to chat on the phone can be tricky. We talked for 20 mins or so, mainly about my dc. As I was getting off, an elderly couple confronted me quite nastily to tell me how rude I was and how disgusting it was of me to "force the whole top deck to listen to my conversation" and that I should "think twice before getting that thing out". I know other people's public conversations can be really annoying but I didn't raise my voice or swear or speak inappropriately. I think they were the rude ones! WIBU or were they?

Some people love a whinge - chat to Granny all you like

Exactly there are far worse things to be seen and/ or heard on a bus . They'd have something to say if you were swigging from a can of lager or shooting up on the back seat. YANBU. Everyone- chill a bit

This is a difficult one as I understand how hard it can be to get five minutes to yourself and you want to utilise all free time.
Personally I don't think that I would've spent that duration on the telephone. Maybe a quick call. Equally the people who did comment on your behaviour were disrespectful and rude themselves, it takes one to know one sort of stuff.

If you were talking at the same volume as two people talking in person on the bus to each other, that's fine. Otherwise it's very rude and annoying

Fine to make a phone call on a bus if it isn't too loud. Some people are too loud, some are not.

But I think that to say "older people can be so intolerant", as another poster does upthread, is a bit of an ageist generalisation. All people can be intolerant, or indeed tolerant! So I suppose my question about the original post might be, why is it relevant to say that it was an 'elderly' couple - why would that make a difference?

Yanbu, it's a bus not a bloody library! People who feel they are being disrespected by someone else's phone call should not use public transport. There are far more worthy causes to get het up about than someone ringing her nan on the way to work!

YABU - I wish I had the guts of that elderly couple to do what they did. I agree with Floggingmolly, "If you "know other people's public conversations can be really annoying", why are you so surprised they found you annoying? You are other people (to other people)."

Hard to say, because we don't know how loud your conversation was. But I know I've had many tedious bus journeys when someone's had a long and loud conversation on their phone - many people do talk very loudly on them. It's hard to get someone's attention when they're on the phone to ask them to quieten down - I've tried it a couple of times, but with no success.

One thing about the elderly couple 'confronting you quite nastily' though. I've noticed that very few people will ever speak up on buses about inconsiderate behaviour - they're much more likely to fume quietly about things like loud phone conversations but not say anything to the culprit. I think this not only normalises the inconsiderate behaviour, but means that the very small minority who will mention it are likely to be perceived as confrontational and nasty, when in reality they're only pointing out that you've been inconsiderate and asking you not to be again. If you really had forced the top deck to listen to your phone conversation for 20 minutes (and again, I can't know this) then YWBU and the couple were quite right to challenge you - they might have chosen their words more carefully, but if they were fuming at the end of 20 minutes of having to listen to a loud phone conversation I can see why they might have been rather abrupt. If you'd had a quiet conversation that wasn't audible except to the people sitting directly adjacent to you, then YWNBU and they were over-zealous.

"Does it make any difference if I tell you the bus was full of senior citizens travelling on their free passes so I was pretty much the only person aboard who had paid?! wink"

Again, this interests me. Why would it make a difference that they were over 60, or that they had not paid (depending on what you mean by paid, but that is a different question and obv I know you mean they hadn't had to buy a ticket for that journey!)

This is an interesting thread though. There have been a couple of threads recently about whether dc should be allowed to play on an ipad in public with the volume on, no headphones. One was on a train journey, so similar to this situation. Some pp pointed out that loud boisterous conversations can be equally annoying and we wish that those groups of people would tone it down as well. I do think some people don't realise how loud they are. Possibly because, as a pp upthread points out, most people don't ask for a volume turn-down?

I'm middle aged and I don't want to listen to someone else's drawn out conversation on a bus. Perhaps it's old fashioned but I prefer a bit of hush. Just keep the volume down.

I feel the same about loud music in cars. Don't inflict it on others.

Rude. On a train I wait until they answer with their name. Google them and if they are on twitter send them a tweet about something they said in the conversation.

Why is it rude no one is hurting you or touching just having a conversation on the phone. Googling the person on the phone and then sending them a tweet is stalking isn't it.

What do you expect in a public place there are no rules on bus's regarding phone conversations and the op wasn't being inconsiderate. If you want there to be rules on public transport then write to Theresa May and she may help you.

It is astoundingly rude to think you can "tell off" adult strangers because something perfectly legal, non violent, non profane that they are doing annoys you.

The fundamental irony of anyone appointing themselves manors vigilantes seems to go over the head of most people on this thread, who think that it is laudable to go around demanding that other people adjust their perfectly behaviour to suit the preferences of the person thick skinned, abrasive, uncouth and socially graceless enough to try to tell off other adults who are breaking no rules at all.

*perfectly law abiding behaviour

YANBU.

I hate it when people do this on my train. Especially when they are conducting sensitive business conversations and we can all hear. Or they are shoutong down the phone.

But I would NEVER confront someone and ask them not to. Having a conversation on the phone is no different to having a conversation with someone in person for most people. Its not doing sonething wrong

Unless it's in a quiet zone or you're talking about your new boyfriend whacking it up your back passage, and you're not shouting then use your bloody phone.

YABU - 20 minutes on the phone is far too long

I am nosey! I love listening to other people's conversations I find travelling by public transport so boring so I love a bit of drama. It's like watching bad tv.