What do you want for Christmas?

[VelvetSpoon]

AIBU to hate being asked this?

Actually, I know I am. I had years of XP never buying me a present, ever. And always thought how nice it would be when I was in a relationship with someone who WANTED to get me something. And now I am (yay!) but...

I have to give him a list. Of £100ish worth of presents (because there's only 1 thing he wants, which is £100, and he wants our spend to be roughtly the same).

So far I have 2 things for the list, total about £35. I really can't think of anything else.

AIBU to think it would be nice not to have to give a list?! It's just I will then know everything I'm getting. But then equally it means I will get what I want if I can think of enough ideas that is and I am quite fussy/ not good at hiding my disappointment if I don't like something.

So I probably have answered my own question that I'm BU. So what do I ask for?

I hate being asked what I want. If I wanted something I'd probably have bought it myself already and it just feels like they feel obliged to get you something. This year we've decided not to do presents and I love not feeling the stress of having to go Christmas shopping. Instead, we are spending our money by going out for dinner / days out in the lead up to Christmas instead.

(I have a grown up son who will get some presents but he works full time and doesn't want anything either).

Oh so, no YANBU.

I think it's better you give him some ideas rather than let him potentially waste his money getting you something you don't like. I get that you'd rather not know everything though. Why not give him a list of a few things you'd like such as your fave perfume or whatever and then ask for a surprise that's not on the list. You can be more specific and say, 'a jewellery surprise' or an evening/day out surprise' etc to help him out a little.

It's nice he wants to get you something you like.

I think you'd be better off each spending what you want on something you choose and saying that as presents you should spend no more than £10/£20.

I couldn't think of enough things I would want - that I wouldn't prefer to choose that is.

Small things like socks, (a family favourite here!), sweets, kitchen stuff, cosmetics/beauty (male and female), gadgets - all appreciated and no sense of waste or disappointment when it is not "quite right"

Doesn't help you OP - sorry

Dh is like this. I asked for a phone this year as needed one but usually ask for nice make up.

I never know what I want that is reasonable to ask for, no partner to ask me but family fit into that category.

I want one of those kettles that boil and pour automatically the exact measurement of your drink.
Will buy it myself in the sales.

I'm equally shut at buying presents.

He should just buy himself the £100 thing and then you should just exchange token presents. You can then ask for a bottle of posh gin, chocolates or whatever for about £20 or so.

Saves you having to do all the thinking and coming up with a prescriptive list because he wants you to buy him something relatively expensive.

Or it you do want a £100 thing, a kindle paperwhite if you don't already have one.

Agree with Barbara. It's a bit weird of him to be setting rules about what you are buying for each other!

Why don't u get him to get u something you want and then a surprise present also, that way u have something to open u don't know what it is, and if u don't like it and least u have got something you wanted, it could something simple anything upto the value of £10 for example x

YANBU.

I always used to say "I don't mind" or "surprise me" when asked but I'm also bad at hiding disappointment so have taken to actually making lists throughout the year (amazon wish lists and suchlike). Whenever I see something I want I add it to my list, and then at Christmas time (or around my birthday) I'll check that there is a wide price range and that I would still like everything on the list and then direct people to it when asked what I would like. Some people buy straight from the list, others (like my sister) use it for inspiration. It's a really good idea, I really suggest doing it for next year - it's like an adult Christmas list for santa.

When my OH and I first started dating our finances were in very different states so decided not to think about money/spending the same when choosing gifts (no way could I have spent what he likes to, and he would have struggled to keep within my budget) just to buy something we thought the other would love. It worked surprisingly well. So now I don't even think about trying to price match with other people when buying gifts; if they'll like it and I can afford it, I buy it!

For this year, I suggest scrolling through the "gifts" section of online retailers like Debenhams or Selfridges for inspiration. I don't know you or what you like, OP, but I do almost all of my Christmas shopping this way.

I don't mind giving a list. I know it can be stressful trying to think of gifts for people, so I'd rather make it easier for them by giving them a few ideas, if they need them.

Also, DP knows the sorts of things I like but not always the specifics. He knows I like perfume, for instance, but wouldn't know which ones I'd wear (and he has no sense of smell so couldn't even just pick one based on that!)

Usually he gets me some things from my list and a couple of things he's just spotted and thought I might like. I do the same for him.

What would you like that you would never spend the money on yourself? That's all I do.

I too use the amazon wish list and add to it when I see things I like but don't want to spend the money on. I always add books, kindle vouchers, fancy bath stuff, hair products that have good reviews but seem a bit pricey, my fave lavender oil, clothes and noveltys like the retro sweets, flamingo towel clips and flamingo teeshirt transfer there is always a wide range so ds's and dh can pick and choose, then after xmas I buy whats left for myself.