2nd children get a raw deal (inspired by hilarious pfb thread"

[WorkingBling]

Dh and I have been laughing at the pfb thread. But in reverse (sort of), don't second born children get a raw deal? I offer you example A:

On my return from the school run dd was attempting to snatch the snack I had purchased from my hand. "Wow, she's enthusiastic," I say to dh. "What did she have for breakfast?"

Cue stricken look, silence then, "Fuck!!!"

No firstborn ever missed breakfast because it's parents forgot!

Not sure I'm with you..did you forget to give your 2nd child breakfast? What's pfb? Sorry, dull? Moi?

My pfb slept in his cot for naps pretty much from birth - id plan my day around nap time so he could stay in his routine.

My poor dragged up second born naps while I'm doing school run/ supermarket shopping/ driving to swimming lessons. Wee soul!

Iwanna pfb is perfect first born as on "am I being a bit pfb to say everyone has to speak in a whisper around my new (first) baby?" then you have a second, relax and they regularly fall asleep to death metal

Snap re the naps!!

My pfb got more time and attention put into nappy changes so she would 'enjoy' them more (not kick off!), poor second born just gets changed. Whether he likes it or not. Wherever we are.

It was my PFB that went to bed without any dinner a few times because DH 'forgot' when he was in charge because I had newborn DC2.
Once, both DC 1 & 2 went to bed without any dinner after DC3 was born.

:(

Dc2 hah psb! Try dc3, practically feral and often found foraging for scraps left behind on the carpet by dc2. Drag themselves up they do.

There are no printed photos of second born in our house. We have photos. Just haven't got round to printing them. There are many of pfb.

I am currently awaiting DC2's imminent arrival.

When I was pregnant with DD1 I committed so much of my time to researching everything from prams to breastfeeding, carefully selecting every little outfit in the shops (and washing it when I got home), I bought a comforter and slept with it while still pregnant so it smelt of me for when DD arrived (she couldn't have given two shits about it), stocked up on about 1,000 nappies and bought every baby gimmick going.

For DC2 we have basically bought a few sleep suits from Asda, nothing else, and have yet to buy a car seat and pram. Our old ones got eaten by mice when stored away. We plan to nip to a shop at some point and will probably buy the cheapest first one we see. When we can be arsed. I feel this is how having DC2 will be from now on

The second also benefits from your mistakes...

Examples:
-> "Babies need a good bedtime routine with a bath" - PFB had a bathtime every night, all that bedtime routine jazz (2 hours) and a bedtime story. For second child, I realised quality was better than quantity, DC2 bedtime routine is 45 minutes long with no bath involved (apart from twice a week), and it is nice. My PFB now finds bedtime very difficult as she still wants the really long routine.

-> "... If you relent, you are making a rod for your own back" - Poor PFB, had to tolerate an unrelenting mother who eventually quit anyway as it was too painful for all involved. For DC2, context is always considered and the understanding that no one decision on parenting is going to set them up for a lifetime of misery and sleepless nights. My DC2 is a much better sleeper as a result.

I could go on...

Yeah, we call them the "forgotten second child".

Although DS1 would argue that DS2 gets more attention than him. But that's because DS2 is the walking embodiment of "pick your battles".

DD (youngest) is the real forgotten one. She practically came out of the womb knowing she was going to have to do it for herself. Poor thing.

I was the PSB. Not only that, but the middle child . I remember looking through photo albums as a child, there were dozens of photos of my older sister as a baby (as of course she was the first child) and dozens of my younger sister (as my parents knew she'd be their last baby). Not a single photo was taken of me until I was over a year old - and even in those photos i was in the background at my older sister's birthday party. I went through a phase of being convinced that I was adopted, because there were literally no baby photos of me.

The most PFB I got was when my mum took him (3 minutes away) out for the first time without me and I stood waiting at the.window for her to return. She laughed at me. I realised she managed to raise 4 of us, I never worried again.

All 3 of mine fell down the stairs at 14 months (all happened in different ways!)
All 3 get called silly nicknames
All 3 have been rushed out of the door with an apple for breakfast.
All 3 have been rushed out of the door with a bag of crisps thrust into their hands because we are late for school and I've not been shopping and the only thing in the house that won't cause toddler melt downs is crisps.

My kids are feral. Actually I reckon DD would be absolutely fine if she somehow.got lost in the woods, she's vicious. DS2 would eat anything he came into contact with. DS1 would cry...maybe I was a bit too overprotective with him...

Not so much Poor Neglected Second Baby as Lucky Spoiled Last Baby in this house. We took the "whatever works" approach to sleep with DC2, which meant she generally got her own way as a baby. Cosleeping, napping on parents (sling), bf to sleep as often as she wanted etc. She has toys coming out of her ears - everything she really needs through hand-me-downs, plus her own presents too. We learned from our nursery mistakes and found an amazing CM for DD when we needed childcare. She got to do whatever activities she liked as a preschooler cos I didn't have a baby in tow needing naps any more. She got to do a lot of activities younger because she was tagging along with DS anyway and asked to join in so why not. And that's not starting on the stuff she learned /from/ DS.

Though DC2 bedtime routine is 45 minutes - what takes so long? Even with a bath (15m), teeth (2m), pjs (5m), stories (15m), bed, I still can't get up to 45m let alone 2 hours!

what takes so long? Even with a bath (15m), teeth (2m), pjs (5m), stories (15m), bed, I still can't get up to 45m let alone 2 hours!

PFB - 20 minute bath, 15 minutes to dry off and get ready for bed, 20 -30 minutes quiet play, 10 - 20 minute feed (both children breastfed and she didn't drop this one till last), 10 minute story time, then the battle of bedtime began :(

DC2 has special boots because of his feet, they take between 5 to 10 minutes to get on alone. Especially as he is such a fidget and really doesn't want them on. So it goes: 5 minutes change of nappy and clothes, 10 minutes sorting his special boots out, 5 to 10 minute quiet play, 15 minute feed (still only 11 months), put down to sleep and hope for the best. I can do it all in 30 minutes on a cooperative day, but 45 minutes is the safe bet. I am sure it will become quicker when he gets older and the quiet play turned to one story (Mistake with DD was I set a time rather than the number of short stories)

Point, I'd forgotten the 3 hour (oops I fell asleep feeding the baby to sleep) bedtimes.

I can't remember the time PSB was born, nor her first word. I am the worst mum in the world.

My DS1 has just had a good old moan about not getting much time 1 to 1, compared to his baby brother. He ignores the 6 WHOLE years he had, and the fact DS2 spent 45 mins waiting for him at guitar lesson tonight, and will spend a hour watching him play football tomorrow, and gets carted here there and everywhere at DS1's whim. DS2 only gets 1 to 1 time because DS1 is at school, and he naps for about 2 hours of it!

PFBs don't know how good they have it.