I have ended up stressed about something that was meant to be fun

[Juicypineapple]

I am on a low working income after divorcing ex and to be honest we are really bloody struggling.

Anyway I am lucky enough to be offered days or evenings out to certain venues with my work. So far so good. My family have done loads to help me so I try and invite them when I can so I give back for what they do.

And here in lies the problem. I have four events over the next few weeks. The bus fare for these would be £4 return. No other costs.

Only a family member has tried kindly to make it into a trip away and offered to pay for a hotel for two of them. So instead of just £4 return I will need £8 for each day. Plus around £20 on one trip to get dd back on train in time for school. Plus tea and breakfast in the hotel, plus if we go overnight I need kennels for the dog so another £15 per night.

So what would have cost me about £20 at most is going to be looking at easily a hundred.

I've tried explaining but family member just says they will treat us and that stresses me out more.

I've ended up cancelling an event for just me and dc because I can't afford it all and I've ended up being stressed about it all rather than the treat it is meant to be :(

Say no thank you to the relative.

If family member will treat you accept it as a Christmas present.

Can you just join them for the first day and let them wander around for the second on their own?

You need to explain this to them. I'm sure they won't have realised the extra costs this would put on you.

What is the event? Just say its not worth the hassle finding somewhere from the dogs and trying to get you daughter to school etc

If you've explained your position and they're still saying they ll treat you, they must mean they intend to cover all your costs? let them. You've done them a big favour with the tickets and obviously want to

I assume the family member does not understand about the extra costs such as bus fares and dog kennels. You will need to tell them.....people who don't struggle, have no idea what it's like.

Aw god , it's horrible when this happens . Thank them .They mean well but just explain about getting your DD back and putting the dogs in kennels .
Or just say you can't stay out overnight

Just say no. Thank them and say it's very generous, but money is tight right now and although you know they have been kind to offer to pay, you would actually struggle to pay kennel fees and extra transport costs and would feel more relaxed just enjoying the day trips as they are. They can't get offended at that.

Just send a text saying, "I don't think you realise how tight money is at the moment. I'm desperately trying to keep a grip on things, so I'll just be going for the day, thanks."

Just say no, and stand your ground. Help is only help if it's helpful.

Just say it's really kind of them to offer but explain that it would be tricky to get DD to school on time and that you don't want to put your dog in kennels.

They do obviously mean very well, but I have been in similar situations and people who have enough money just don't think of the extras that mount up in circumstances like that. You just have to be firm while emphasising that you really, really do appreciate how kind they're being.