Friend doesn't look at me when she talks to me

[SaltySeaDogs]

IF we're eg chatting in a three, she mainly looks at other mutual friend and occasionally glances back at me. I don't get it?

Funnily enough, I feel that. Oh yes, Its like blue eyes are piercing and are colder, whereas brown eyes are darker and are a warmer colour.

Are you sure she is actually looking at the other person, or is she possibly looking past her? I don't do eye contact, never thought much of it until 2 DC's were given autism diagnosis

I do find people who give too much eye contact un-nerving. Just saying.

If you are the person being "treated"to the full-on eye contact, remove YOUR eye contact from the person who is excluding the third person. That's what I do. It annoys the hell out of me when people are rude to one other person in this way.

Most of the culprits are not autistic, btw.

I really have to think about eye contact and find it really awkward but I also strongly suspect I am autistic.

I have a painfully shy friend who doesn't do eye contact but is one of the nicest people I know!

I find it quite hard to make eye contact generally, and even more so with several people in one conversation. In job interviews where there's a panel of two or three people, I have to make a conscious effort to make sure I look at each of the people as I talk to them.

It's definitely not personal - I could be having a conversation with a group of really close friends and still not look at all of them. It doesn't have anything to do with how much I like them, or what they look like.

Generally speaking I can concentrate far better on a conversation if I'm not looking at people at all. I don't know why; I've always been like that.

CaraAspen Not sure about green eyes, but others saying it might be darker v lighter coloured eyes may be onto something. I may have reacted to green eyes simply depending on whether they are dark or light.

I don't know many people with green eyes, but I'll now be seeing what my reaction is next time I meet someone with that eye colour!

It can also be abuse related. Some people who were abused as DCs find eye contact more difficult with some people. Instead of establishing a connection, it makes them feel threatened. But they may find eye contact easier with certain people. It's almost like PTSD and isn't really connected to the other people at all because the eye contact can be triggering regardless of what the other person does.