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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not have a "perfect" tree

75 replies

Lewwat · 04/12/2016 13:56

So... Christmas trees is up. I let the DC. (7&5) go to town and then that's the way it stays until it comes down. They are so proud of their handy work!

I've had a few people comment with saying how they have "tree ocd" and they can't possibly leave it as the kids do it. They either change it after or just do it themselves.

Am I the only one with a crap kiddified tree?!

OP posts:

MrBloomIsActuallyAttractive · 04/12/2016 18:44

My 3 year old did mine :) most stuff is at her height, then I picked her up to put the star on :) I love it

WinterSpiceZoflora · 04/12/2016 18:45

I'm deeply suspicious of people who have themed trees, especially if there is a different set of decs bought every year. Our tree is an absolute mishmash of inherited decs,plus ones we've bought and made. The oldest is about 80

SinglePringle · 04/12/2016 18:48

There's a happy medium! My mum used to direct the placement to a degree - I never felt 'quashed'. Everyone has to live with the tree - a tree decorated by an Elf on acid (complete with vomited glitter and tinsel) would be tricky to live with. Directing kids creativity does not stifle their creativity.

Roussette · 04/12/2016 18:51

Nah... they grow up and want a carbon copy of what they had when they were kids I promise you!

I would love a smaller tasteful beautifully decorated tree (ours is artificial but ginormous) and almost went for it one year, but there was nearly anarchy here! Perhaps when they have their own families I might be able to downsize my tree!

But I do love that they love it because it means we did Christmas right somewhere along the line.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 04/12/2016 18:53

Doobigetta no inverted snobbery here.

Being happy/proud of your own tree doesn't mean you think other trees and their owners are awful.

MetalMidget · 04/12/2016 18:55

My lad is four months old, so I've got another couple of years of an exquisitely decorated tree. Once he's old enough, he'll be calling the shots, even if it'll look like a unicorn has vomited in the living room!

BackforGood · 04/12/2016 19:00

I'd say your title is wrong.
To me, yours does sound like a perfect tree.

YANBU AT ALL to let your dcs decorate it - isn't that what Christmas is all about?
My dcs are grown now but with still have a mishmash of decorations they've made over the years adorning our tree. I think those that look like they've been done by an interior designer look kind of soul=less. Like when you see toys in their boxes in pristine condition - clear no children have ever played with them

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 04/12/2016 19:05

MetalMidget don't kid yourself. You've got one more year of a tasteful tree absolute tops. Does the phrase "terrible two's" ring any bells? And yes, it will look like a unicorn's vommed, and you'll be thrilled to bits with his efforts :)

DorotheaHomeAlone · 04/12/2016 19:10

Love a kid-decorated tree full of random, handmade, ancient and much-loved baubles and a tonne of tinsel. Not fussed about adult efforts.

AliceInUnderpants · 04/12/2016 19:12

No, I just can't do it I'm the one who has to sit on my arse all day looking at it

Kids each have a small tree in their bedrooms - they can do whatever the fuck they want with those (as long as they clean up afterwards )

DailyMailSucksAss · 04/12/2016 19:15

Dsd does the tree way better than me. I'm rubbish.

ozboomoo · 04/12/2016 19:52

Our kids decorate our tree! We went to collect it today .... We've called him Treacle! They will decorate tomorrow!!! All the things they made a school will be put on ... Especially the ones from years ago !!! I let the choose a new bauble every year !!! Their favourite bit it's throwing lamentha all over it !!!
Christmas is for children !!!
I love our tree !!!

Bluesrunthegame · 04/12/2016 19:56

I like our tree to look like an explosion in a bauble factory. We have loads of different coloured baubles/stars/angels/Father Christmases collected over many years, they all go on and it looks startling. Not doing a tree this year because of family all over the place, I'd felt OK about this but now I miss my tree!

bretonpuffin · 04/12/2016 20:00

I bet if I said I had "tree autism" or similar people would be up in arms about disablist language.

Why is OCD always fair game and why always the hostility if somebody objects?

pumpkinpie5 · 04/12/2016 20:08

My tree has been done entirely by my 7 yr old apart from the lights and I love it! We have great fun putting it up together and I wouldn't want to miss out on that 😊

MrTCakes · 04/12/2016 20:15

*Do people using the term 'tree OCD' realise OCD is a debilitating mental illness, not just a fetish about having a perfect tree hmm

Seriously, cop on to yourselves. So ignorant and insensitive.*

Thank you !!

fairgame84 · 04/12/2016 20:26

I have a perfect tree preens.
I have OCD (diagnosed) and the tree has to be decorated in a certain way. DS is 12 and knows not to try and 'help'. I used to feel so guilty as it used to upset him but he's come to accept that it's our way of life now.
I do put his homemade decorations around the room just not on the tree and he helps choose what decorations we buy.
I remember decorating the tree with my dbro as a kid with a mishmash of decorations, it always looked great. I used to love finding all the different baubles, my tree is so boring in comparison.

notagiraffe · 04/12/2016 20:27

OP, perfect trees are rubbish. The only tree to have at Christmas is the one that looks like six toddlers sky-high on sugar tipped a box of decorations over it. I hate tasteful Christmas trees. They miss the point. Naice table and mantlepiece decorations are fine. But trees need to look a bit tatty and mad.

Sallystyle · 04/12/2016 20:36

Insensitive idiots calling it 'tree OCD'

If you do not have OCD please don't fucking belittle the serious illness. Think before you type.

My tree isn't perfect but I don't like it looking like a toddler has decorated it either.

Sallystyle · 04/12/2016 20:41

Why does someone always have to come along and be terribly offended?

Because it pisses me off. Do you know how hard it is to be taken seriously when you say you have OCD? I have lost count of the amount of times people have laughed and said they have OCD too because they like a clean house.

I have also been suicidal with it, so yes it does offend me to see people use the term lightly. As another poster rightly said, if someone said they had 'autism tree' there would be an uproar. OCD might be used in 'every day language' but that doesn't mean it should be.

wasonthelist · 04/12/2016 21:38

YANBU OP. DD does the tree in this house and I am not troubled by it in any way.

I am amazed by the number of people who are so concerned with the precise appearance of something that's there for a month or so a year at a time that's supposed to be peace and goodwill!

Dahlietta · 04/12/2016 21:44

We do a bit of a mix here. I tend to do the tinsel, because DS(4) couldn't cope with that, and I hang some bits near the top where he can't reach. He hangs a lot of stuff on it though. Actually, he's not a bad tree decorator, except that if he ever gets a toy from a McD's happy meal in December which has a loop on the top, he thinks it's a tree decoration and hangs it on there! He's saving a Furby for when the tree goes up...

lilyb84 · 04/12/2016 21:48

My tree is shit, I've got a cat and a baby and no money for a new one so it'll be shit for some time! Perfect trees are lovely, imperfect ones are special

I'm by no means someone who goes about looking for offence but my sister has severe OCD which nearly resulted in her dc being taken away by sswho were totally ignorant of it as a condition and so I hate the trivialisation of the term. I was very disappointed In Stephen Fry, who's done such great work raising awareness of mental health issues, for doing the same and describing himself as 'a bit OCD'. I don't think there's any need for raging or fights over it - but I always try to considerately suggest to people that they might wish to rethink using the term so flippantly.

millymollymandy82 · 04/12/2016 21:49

I did mine myself. Toddler keeps destroying it. Can't be arsed to fix it. It looks shite.

littlesallyracket · 04/12/2016 22:14

It's just each to their own, isn't it? I can't ever imagine sneering at anyone's tree for any reason, really. I really like seeing other people's trees on Facebook and Instagram, whether they've been decorated by people's kids with paper snowflakes and lopsided tinsel or they look like something from a department store display with carefully matched baubles and lights that have been spaced with a ruler. It's all good as far as I'm concerned.

I also think it's possible to compromise ... we used to decorate the tree with my mum when we were little but when we were adults she confessed that she always used to sneakily move a few baubles around after we'd gone to bed! We certainly never noticed she'd done that. She always, always put the rubbish decorations we'd made at school in pride of place, though - and in fact still gets them out every year even though all her kids are in their 40s. No Christmas for her is complete without some silver-sprayed pine cones that I glued together and threw glitter at in 1983, it seems.

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