To not want to downsize even though we will probably have to?

[Spanglemum]

My DH had a well paid job but has had to retire in his early 50s due to a medical problem. His pension settlement is quite low, we were expecting more (full pension) and will appeal. I've worked part time for last 10 years, always on contracts and the most recent one has just ended and I'm currently unemployed. We have 2 children with SN.

We are going to appeal re the pension and I'm obviously looking for full time work (problematic in itself unless we get some help with the children while I'm at work. Soc services may be able to help. )

My DH thinks we should move to a smaller house and be mortgage free. At the.moment the thought of this brings me to tears. We bought our current house as our forever home and have done lots to make it how we like it. It's got loads of space and a massive garden and 4 bedrooms. We would be able to afford a much smaller 3 bed house. I know I'm being unreasonable but I'm reeling from everything that's happened in the past few years and I can't bear the thought of selling up. I feel we would always regret it. I can see the attraction if having no mortgage.

Any thoughts or experiences to share

Thank you!

How old are your children? If your husband's in his early fifties, presumably they're late teens/early twenties, so won't be on your hands forever?

Also, if your husband's going to be retired, surely he'll be looking after the children so you won't need "childcare" as such?

On the financial side, how much longer does the mortgage have to run, and have you looked into changing the way it's paid, eg part repayment/part interest only maybe?

Sorry for so many questions, but it would help to have a bit more background. I'm in a vaguely similar boat, DH is 54, retiring in a couple of months by choice, but DS lives in own flat. Our income will drop dramatically from Feb too but we really don't want to downsize. Mortgage paid off years ago but the running costs of a large house are still significant

If you have an additional bedroom, could you generate some extra income through a lodger/Airbnb?

Good idea Very

Hi sorry,

Our children are 9 and 10 years. We've got 10 years on the mortgage. He has Chronic Neuorpathic Pain Disorder and sometimes can't look after them.

But good idea re mortgage.

It's so hard to advise.

On the one hand I think you should stay. At least for the time being. It would be awful to move and bitterly regret the decision.

On the other hand if you do want to move, then it's better to do it now while you have time and are in control of the situation. It's not a necessity as yet, and as such you have time on your hands to find the right house, not having to accept a low offer on your own house through necessity. You won't be forced into panicked decisions.

Yes, definitely stay if at all possible. Air BnB/lodger/rejig mortgage/wraparound care so you can work FT....you obviously have an emotional attachment to the house so will regret it if you are forced into a move.

Is there any way your dh could do any other work from home, just a couple of hours a day to help out?

I strongly advise you against taking a lodger (bitter experience of doing it for 17 years). I got so fed up with sharing our house with lodgers ( needs must though as couldn't afford our house without them) that I bit the bullet, sold up and bought a smaller house . I sobbed and sobbed as I shut the door for the last time , I loved our house.

However, it was the best thing I could have done and I absolutely love our new little house.

You can make another house into a family home that you love and the relief of reducing financial pressure is immeasurable .

Your kids are at school most of the day, could you go dull time and he has the kids just around school?

My advice is don't rush. Sort out the pension first as then you will know what money you have to play with.

Check if you are eligible for any benefits, Working Tax Credits, Pension TC, PIP etc.

How old are your DC's and what care do they need? Are you currently near a school that they can get themselves to.

Get yourself a permanent job which will also give you annual leave, sick pay and possibly a pension to.

Then start looking at a home that is suitable - does your DH need a bungalow or a new-build suitable for wheelchairs (wide doors/low light switches). You probably don't need the stress of a large garden.

Get advice from cab re pension appeal. I did get my IHR upped but it was difficult. It sounds as if selling up is going to upset you hugely so loo at all other options.

Does dh get pip?

I'd note caution against assuming you will be able to downsize.

This is due to the extremely strict/fickle mortgage rules these days - so please before considering/rejecting/deciding on this option check it out first with the mortgage people.

I mention it because I tried it - and failed - when I wanted to downsize to knock £10k of my mortgage I thought well, surely me putting myself in a stronger financial position would be something the mortgage company would want? Right? Wrong.

This is what gets considered now when you try to remortgage and whilst you may not need to remortgage I'm mentioning this because if you've not bought or sold for a while it can be an incredible shock how much things have changed:

• the mortgage companies are incredibly incredibly risk averse, full stop
• they will assess you based on age (I was 48 when I applied for this here reduced mortgage that I tried to get) and thus the mortgage term is reduced accordingly so if I applied to remortgage now they would only give me a repayment term until what say 60 years old - that means a rather short mortgage that's going to mean higher monthly payments which they may feel you can't handle (for anyone who has to go down the route of trying to remortgage to downsize - or for any reason really!)
• that you don't have a history of employment yourself and you'd be the main breadwinner going forward and if you can't get a permanent job that will downgrade you in their eyes as well - I worked as a contractor at the time I applied for the mortgage earning probably 25% more than I earn now in a permanent role but that counted massively against me and was a big factor in them rejecting me
• anything - anything - that they can find that they think will make you a risk mostly your ability to convince them that as someone who's worked on contracts, you're a safe bet, they will refuse on
• then you can have all of that sorted and the fact that one of your intended house is built in a way other than they think it should be (even if it's typical for that type of house and has been standing for 200 years!) they won't lend to you. Their caution on what are 'normal' forms of building in certain types of houses tend now to be viewed as highly suspicious to the extent that they value your intended cheaper home at a value of £0 and thus unmortgageable if there's something they don't like about it. If you still want that house you have to spend £££££s to bring it up to the standard they want before they'll even give it a value. So the smaller cheaper possibly older style house that would work as a downsized option might not actually be a goer if you did need some mortgage and even if you didn't need a mortgage you might actually need to spend money on it anyway to make it properly habitable to modern standards.

If you could actually be mortgage free that may be a different scenario entirely but I'd first check that you will get what you think you will need from the sale of your house plus all the fees and moving costs etc - you should err very much on a lower price than you might think and look at recent sales to try and work it out - hoping you'll get X amount if that amount is too high will falsely skew your planning. If it is genuinely a realistic price that the market will stand then that's the figure you should calculate on. If you are able to do this and be mortgage free then that's a whole 'nother thing and that would be great if you can do it but really check it all out first as a lot of your decision making will be based around house prices/sale prices etc and whether these will result in you actually ending up mortgage free.

Would he be able to claim any benefits due to his condition and also because it's preventing him from working?

Thanks, DH has applied for PIP and we get DLA for the kids. Our DS has ADHD and ASD and needs constant supervision. We live next door to school but my DD is going to secondary next year.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. My head us spinning and I can't sleep or eat. I think the reality has hit me.

Don't do anything now.

In a few months think about it again.

It's not just your mortgage which will be cheaper. Lots of your bills will also be cheaper.

The relief of being able to make ends meet every month would sway me every time.

Thanks all. I wouldn't move unless we could be mortgage free to be honest. I appreciate all the advice.

I won't make any snap decisions.