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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not shell out £65 for kids trainers?

85 replies

Tonka76 · 04/12/2016 11:53

He's twelve and his feet are still growing... I've said if he wants expensive trainers then he needs to ask for them for Christmas. Is this miserly? He needs to be shod I know that... and if I'm honest it's a lot to do with his choice of haurrache Nike which I think are the ugliest shoe if ever seen and just can't face seeing them on a daily basis.

What do you pay for shoes for kids? Am I being a Scrooge?

OP posts:
Summerisdone · 04/12/2016 16:42

I do need to say that those suggesting Sports Direct really don't seem to get it. Sports Direct doesn't stock the latest most wanted styles, it's often older styles so Hauraches will not be available there. For OP's DS it is not just about Nike, it has to be that particular style. I myself am desperate for a new pair of Stan Smith's by Adidas, any other Adidas will not do what so ever, and I'm a 27 year old adult so I do understand where this 12 year old boy is coming from; it's just a shame he's really wanting the very popular but equally ugly Hauraches

Zoflorabore · 04/12/2016 17:14

My ds is 13 and asked for all black huaraches for school. They're allowed.
I paid £95, he is in a size 12 men's shoe.

His astros are a size 13. I've been paying adult prices since he was 7/8.

My ds really looks after his stuff but his feet are like canoes and just keep growing.
It's very difficult to buy size 13 in shops.

Original poster
Tonka76 · 04/12/2016 17:15

We definitely don't have spare cash, especially at this time of year but kids need shoes. I feel the pressure because I had a terrible time at school and I don't want that for my ds. I'm always so torn between wanting the dc to learn about the value of money and not wanting them to go without.

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 17:29

Summer, presumably you are earning your own money, so of course you should spend it whichever way you see fit.
And your feet are unlikely to grow Grin

I think children learning that money can only be spent once is a really valuable life lesson.
What would he not get if you bought Huaraches for him?
Is that worth a conversation?
Why does he want those trainers and not any others? How important is it actually to him? Don't put your past experiences on him.

Fwiw, my DS2(12) is far more affected by his peers and their opinions, DS1(13) does not give a toss. We talk about that quite often when it comes to brands, the 'must have' toy or game or whatever, what true friends are (people that enrich your life, not make it harder or more stressful or put you under pressure).

Summerisdone · 04/12/2016 17:47

Pacific I wasn't meaning that there is anything wrong with getting a cheaper style of trainers at all, I myself will often buy cheaper shoes and other clothing for both my DS and myself, after all most of both of our clothes are purchased from Primark. What I was meaning is that if OP's son is wanting Haurache trainers, then no other style (regardless if they're still Nike brand) will please him.
I agree that children need to learn the value of money, I'm actually often having this argument with my mum when she bows down to my teenage sisters and spends out of her means to spare herself the aggro sometimes.

Perhaps my comment seemed a bit flippant in regards to the money, and TBH if it were myself I would probably suggest to him that he can either have a cheaper pair or the trainers will have to be part of his Christmas present

19lottie82 · 04/12/2016 18:43

Zoflo check out m and m direct. They're great for large sizes and bargain prices. Recently had adidas Stan smiths in 11/12/13/14 for £22.99

wannabestressfree · 04/12/2016 21:55

Tonka what size is he?

happy2bhomely · 04/12/2016 22:15

I paid £110 for DS's last pair of trainers. He is 16. He only asks for new ones once or twice a year though.

My DH was very poor growing up (as was I) and he still remembers being called a tramp and scruff for not having the 'right' trainers. His mum used to tell him to stop being such a sheep and to enjoy being 'original'. Kids are cruel and it affected DH's confidence massively. He just wanted to be the same as everyone else.

With his first wages at 16, DH got himself his first pair of branded trainers and I took a photo of him with them. 17 years later and we still have that photo!

DH insists that our DC have the 'in' things and often works longer hours to afford it.

BobbieDog · 04/12/2016 22:21

Dd is 4 and her winter boots cost £65. Her average shoe price is £45 and we get 3 months out of them before she needs a bigger size.

crazycatzz · 04/12/2016 22:35

Spent £120 on a pair of football boots at the beginning of term. My son has now told me he won't be playing football for the rest of the school year so no longer needs them. Well that was a waste of money and I would rather he spent it on a pair of ugly trainers which he wears every day than football boots he wore for 6 weeks.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 04/12/2016 22:53

Thanks for the jd sports tip- I've just ordered some for dd Christmas present :)

Zoflorabore · 05/12/2016 06:09

Thanks lottie:) will be having a look there and reassuring that they have size 14 too as I expect the canoes to get biggerGrin

Fwiw my ds has admitted that he hates his huaraches as they're so difficult to get on with the strange contraption at the back and said he will be going back to his beloved adidas flux.
On a brighter note the huaraches wash very well in the washing machine.

NiceFalafels · 05/12/2016 06:15

If he doesn't need them
And they are twice what you'd usually pay. In my house he would

A) have to wait till he needed them and then put half the cash towards it.

B) have them as his Christmas present. Because they are not necessary right now. He has trainers.

C) dip into his savings.

youokayhun · 05/12/2016 06:18

I recently paid £55 for my boys Nike air max....he's 7 and to be honest, probably couldn't care less what was on his feet but he did say he liked them and wanted them (he did need trainers) at 12, I would definitely shell out.

NiceFalafels · 05/12/2016 06:32

No one has told me or my teen/kids that we are tramps or a scruffs for not having the 'in' thing. We are not into materialism yet our kids have everything they need. We live in quite an ethical community though and the environment/recycling is valued. People often don't choose to 'wear their wealth'. Also teaching my kids about spending and helping them to have realistic expectations going into adulthood is my responsibility.

NiceFalafels · 05/12/2016 06:37

Other ideas

  1. he can earn the money through doing jobs at home.

  2. you give him a monthly clothing fund and he saves that for things. If he blows it yet still needs shoes, he will just have to look on eBay or in his local charity shop.

MissMogwi · 05/12/2016 07:11

Very expensive trainers and clothes are for birthdays and Christmas in my house. No way am I paying £££ just for the PE fashion show!

My eldest has HUarache or whatever they are called, I think they are hideous but they're her feet and they were a gift. She loves them and Prestos? Never sure of the names.

I do shop around and try to find discount codes etc for the best deal. I am lucky in that both of my girls are a size 4/5 so not as expensive as some!

Parkourbench · 05/12/2016 07:26

I think if it's more than you'd usually pay them as a gift is fine.
My DD wants a pricey pair of boots and I've made her wait till xmas because if I was just buying something to keep her feet warm I'd be spending a lot less.

I don't buy this it's not a gift if it's clothes/shoes thing. It's pretty much all their interested in after a certain age anyway.

19lottie82 · 05/12/2016 07:29

zoflo if you can't find what you're looking for keep checking as their stock changes all the time. Think they also had superstars in large sizes for £35?

happy2bhomely · 05/12/2016 15:16

Nicefalafels I agree with you. I don't wear branded items and think they are a waste of money. But my DH has a thing about appearing poor. I was just explaining why he feels that way.

I am also teaching my children about spending and the value of money.

Basicbrown · 06/12/2016 08:52

My DH was very poor growing up (as was I) and he still remembers being called a tramp and scruff for not having the 'right' trainers. His mum used to tell him to stop being such a sheep and to enjoy being 'original'. Kids are cruel and it affected DH's confidence massively. He just wanted to be the same as everyone else.

From a very middle class affluent background and we were never allowed expensive clobber other than for presents. I think tbh you take it more personally if you are poor than if you aren't. It's why people with less money are often more likely to buy branded stuff.

If you call someone 'poor' and they aren't they don't get upset by it. It's a bit like calling someone short who is 6ft. They would just be Grin Confused. And of course there is lots of evidence their family isn't poor, foreign holidays, nice house in the posh end of town etc.

MazDazzle · 06/12/2016 21:16

I don't agree Basicbrown. In many ways, my family were wealthy (nice house, holidays and car) and my parents had respectable jobs, but my trainers were sneered at and I was mortified. Some of the kids who laughed at my trainers were financially worse off than us, but had cool trainers.

I remember for my 13th birthday I got a pair of awful trainers, nothing else, but we all went out to a fancy restaurant for a meal! Hmm And they always forked out for good quality leather school shoes. Trainers just weren't on their radar.

I do agree with what another poster said about how some kids are more sensitive to other people's opinions than others. My eldest is sensitive and likes to blend in, but my youngest likes to be different and is super confident.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with what the OP asked really, but I think it shows how sensitive an issue trainers are.

I'd happily have worn the cheapest of clothes if I'd had a decent pair of trainers!

NiceFalafels · 06/12/2016 21:57

I guess we are middle class. We have a nice life style but aren't frivolous. We spend wisely. We wouldn't buy flashy trainers unlesss it was for a birthday or xmas present. We don't need to look like we have money.

NiceFalafels · 06/12/2016 22:04

I think some kids are just more desperate to fit in.

Powergower · 06/12/2016 22:16

Ds had them nikes and they do last ages. I just hate it when he wears them with his extra skinny adidas joggers and ellesse hoody. I've stopped buying jeans and normal jumpers because he lives in leggings and hoodies now! He's currently hankering after footy boots with an inbuilt sock for 200 quid! I've told him I can sew a pair of socks into trainers for a tenth of that price.