To think there's not much point in asking for opinions if any critical comments are interpreted as "being mean"?

[FirstOfHerName]

I belong to a Facebook beauty/style group. For the most part it's great, but occasionally someone will post a selfie asking for opinions on a certain outfit or makeup look.

Frequently, if you suggest that perhaps the outfit doesn't suit them or the makeup doesn't look quite right, dozens of other posters will accuse you of being nasty and say that if you don't have anything nice to say then you shouldn't say anything at all.

But how is it nasty to tell someone that the foundation they're wearing is perhaps too light or dark, or suggest that a different cut of skirt might be a better option? They asked for opinions! When did "being nice" become "being dishonest"?

You need to be in different groups, I think (which perhaps isn't what you wanted to hear if you liked that one).

Because it is, for example, one of the reasons I like MN - you can say what you really think. Those who don't like it choose other parenting/general chat sirptes with a different ethos/community.

I'm not going to slag off other groups though. As people self-select the knees they feel comfortable in, and I think it's right that they can and that there are so many that's it's easy to find the places where you feel you belong.

What I do think is wrong is to expect big changes to a place that is well established and with a large community. Because that does rather overlook the basic point that a lot of people are happy just as things are.

My intention wasn't to slag off the group, just more of a general musing on why people are so quick to call even the mildest criticism "nasty" these days. God knows, if my lipstick colour did nothing for me then I'd want to know!

Tricky one sounds like they are the over sensitive type I personally wouldn't mind if someone said oh I don't like .. but if they are saying you are mean then maybe say well she did ask some people are insecure and can't cope with negative comments

Because it's considered polite to PM criticism not plaster it all over a group for everyone to see.

Perhaps you should have stock answers like stunning or gorgeous huni or just not say anything

I suppose no one posts a picture of themselves online if they eant to be told anything other than 'Hun you look GORGEOUS xx'.

Sounds like you belong to a Hun group.

Only acceptable response to pictures is - omg u look amazing Hun xxxx

Regardless of whether it looks like a 5 year old did your makeup and your wearing a dress 2 sizes too small. Just copy and paste the above response and you'll be fine.

You're **

Stupid fat fingers

I know exactly what you mean, I'm a part of a home improvement FB group and it's become the same. People ask for opinions then everybody abuses a person that gives a less positive opinion, even when it's just constructive criticism e.g. 'the feature wall colour clashes too much with the rest of the room, perhaps try a darker/lighter shade'.
TBH I've got to the point that I'll now just skip the post rather than give an honest opinion because I see the tirade of abuse others have received and I really can't be bothered dealing with that myself.

If you are sticking to the golden rule of constructive criticism - don't point out anything they can't change in the given time frame - then the others are prob being over sensitive, although as a pp said maybe people choose to post in that group because they just want the confidence boost of lots of reassurance, which is fine.

If your comments are just along the lines of suggesting different lipstick etc as you say, that's not mean at all. If you're saying things like "that dress would look much better if you lost a couple of stone" or something, then that would be mean! (Unless the poster had already indicated they were looking for motivation for a long term weight loss goal I suppose...)

Gosh no starchild, that would be rude and out of order. But saying "nice top but maybe blue would suit you more than yellow" is reasonably, I would've thought.

The purpose of FB to people like this is to affirm that they are starring in their own lifetime movie, and any criticism however constructive is regarded as not playing the game.

Repeat to yourself, OP - 'the person asking on FB does not want anything other than adoration, ever".

It depends on how your opinion is said though. Some people can be quite aggressive and hysterical on here, so actually some people are mean when trying to get their point across.

Oh yes, there's definitely a difference between being harsh and constructive criticism.

They asked for opinions!

But they clearly only want the good ones, its an "omg hun u is gawjuss" group.

If its not your thing, move on.

I am on a similar make up group and I just say nothing.
Sometimes it is really hard because they look and I would not let my friend go out looking like that but then I remember they have mirrors know what they look like so must be happy with it.