To pull back from this voluntary work?

[burgundyandgoldleaves]

Apologies in advance as I'm going to be vague.

In the summer, I committed to some voluntary work. Then I got a job. This means that I'm doing the voluntary work on Sundays. It's not every Sunday, it's every other Sunday, and it's for three hours in the afternoon.

It's a bit stupid but I've had a little crisis of confidence. Some of it (more than I thought) is dealing with something I'm REALLY not confident in. I have started getting very anxious about leaving the house and going to social events (didn't go to a friends leaving party a few weeks ago) and I can't work out whether this means I should continue with volunteering or if it's a sign it's a bit much.

So I am after other opinions :)

Have you discussed it with your supervisor?

I think you are being too vague, I was with you until I have started getting very anxious about leaving the house and going to social events. I can't imagine, so need some help imagining, what type of activity you do whilst volunteering that has skipped the don't want to go this Sunday and jumped straight to don't want to leave the house ever. I once had such a bad day at work* due to a forced extra duty that every time I thought about work I burst into tears and curled up in a ball. I didn't go to work due to stress for a few days. But you clearly have something different going on here.
*I was a fire marshal in a school, fire alarms were being set off hourly and it was exam season.

I was in a similar position. There was just one too many things going on in my life, and something had to give. I knew they would easily find a replacement for me though - is that the case here?

Could you do a bit less of the part that you're not confident about?

Does the thought of going just once a month/once every 3 months make it more bearable? If not, perhaps you could volunteer somewhere different?

No - unfortunately not, it seems a big part of the role I feel I might regret it if I quit but at the same time I have to go tomorrow and i already feeling a sense of dread.

Scardey not totally with you, sorry?

I'd give up the volunteering if I was you. Volunteering should be of some benefit to you as well as to the cause you are volunteering for. It sounds like too much stress for the sake of a couple of Sundays a month, so I'd tell them tomorrow that you will no longer be able to do it in the new year.

I feel it benefits me, but that seems a selfish reason to carry on with it.

I haven't discussed it with my supervisor ...I feel like they would feel I'm not committed?

Here's the thing, it's self harm.

Now, I can cope with all sorts and I'm not squeamish but I just feel I've no idea how to support someone through harming themselves! I feel so so out of my depth, and also my parents were so dismissive about stuff like that it's hard taking away their views from my head.

Do you think it will have significant benefit in the long term, i.e do you think you would get a better job, gain new skills, make friends? If so then maybe it's worth sticking with and hoping the anxiety lessens as you get more confident with the particular part of your role that's worrying you just now.

I think it would, yes. I am really trying to force myself out of my comfort zone and actually make friends, and long term it will all be fine but short term I'm really struggling!

Cross post. That does sound tough, I would think that most people wouldn't feel confident providing support like that. I'm assuming you had some training, can you ask for more?

I might go tomorrow and ask then? Feel a bit conflicted! I want to do it but at the same time, I don't!

You shouldn't be expected to deal with that without training! If you want to carry on, I would definitely ask your supervisor for support.

Yes, I'm in the midst of training, and feeling like I can't cope. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I train volunteers for self harm support services (on mat leave just now so not your trainer!).

All I can say is please please talk to the trainer. It's what we want people to do, doesn't make us question commitment - we are pleased about the level of set reflection and awareness which is key for these roles.

You don't know what to expect till you start training and people decide not to carry for lots of reasons - if they've got as far as training I usually invite them back in the next round if this time isn't the right time.

Plus if you feel you really want to support the organisation ask if they have other non support roles which in my experience are harder to recruit for.

In short please chat to the trainer they won't judge - they'll be pleased.

I always tell trainees 50% of the role is lookijng after yourself so yi can support others and I have had to take breaks from frontline support at times when I couldn't offer it and needed to focus on myself.

self reflection

Baby sleeping on typing jabs!

Gah!!

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