To ask if you always throw a birthday party for your kids?

[Snowflakes1122]

DC is turning 5. I haven't booked a party this year. DC has recently moved schools and has t really made any friends yet. But my mother in law thinks I'm being awful!

Do you throw a party every year for your dcs? Am I BU?

My two are well past that stage now, but we didn't always have a friends party. It depended on the circs at the time. If not a friends party how about a small family one or a day out somewhere? Doesn't have to be costly either, some of our best memories are the ones where we took a picnic to a park or beach (even winter ones), or a film and popcorn afternoon.

We don't always have parties. They have the option of a party or £50 cash (which I consider a BARGAIN), up until age 10, then I don't do big parties anymore. They can have a few friends over, or go out for a meal or something like that, but the big balloons and party games thing ends at age 10. (also the option for £50)

When they are younger, or don't have a large friendship group like your DC, we celebrate with family only.

No. When dd was 5 though, she had recently started school and knew no-one. I invited the whole class as it was a good way to meet them. It was her first party. Well, outside of family ones.

Ds didn't have one at 5 as he started school on his birthday and so we definitely didn't know the class to invite them.

Agree with previous poster - it depends on circumstances. Poor dd wanted a pool party this year but life was busy. She got over it. Disappointment is part of life.

Nope. DS's birthday is Boxing Day so it's a bit tricky! We've only done one or two parties and he's 11 this year

Nope. I've got 2 DDs 3 and 4 and both birthdays are near Christmas. Besides not having the money to throw big parties I also worry no one will come. They always each have a party with us and their grandparents with food, presents and cake and seem happy with that.

As they get older and have 'proper' core friends I will happily take them all for a treat of their choice.

DSD has just turned 7 and has had a birthday party every year but I think they are entirely unnecessary. Her mum will do the all-class party, and DH and I will do a 'family gathering' party so she gets a cake and maybe some balloons and about £20 of food from Iceland for everyone to nibble on and I think that's plenty!

I know I sound hypocritical saying that parties are unnecessary and then saying we do a second party, but it's less of a party and more of a celebration with family and I won't skip it just because she's already had a party with her mum. Birthdays should definitely be celebrated but not with a bloody huge party every time, we very rarely had parties when we were kids.

DS is turning 4 in a few weeks but as it's so close to Christmas I'm not doing a party as most of his 'friends' will be busy and we don't have loads of friends, just three or four. We'll have a small family gathering instead! I do feel guilty, I think there is a lot of pressure these days to do parties, hire soft play, order a cake or whatever, and we've been to quite a few friends' parties but I just can't do one so close to Christmas.

I always do, yes.

I'm not saying you have to though! Just answering the question.

I know I sound hypocritical saying that parties are unnecessary and then saying we do a second party, but it's less of a party and more of a celebration with family and I won't skip it just because she's already had a party with her mum. Birthdays should definitely be celebrated but not with a bloody huge party every time, we very rarely had parties when we were kids

Why not? If dd wants it and the mum can afford it, what is the problem? I don't really see what your upbringing has to do with it? I just find your post incredibly bitchy.

As others have said, it's a difficult time of year. We have Jan/Feb birthdays and usually do 'something' - but it depends on the child too.

DD(8) - loves a party, a fuss and lots of friends and family involved. She's happy with a smaller party (which is normal) but if she were in charge, there would be ice sculptures and a disco glitter ball

DS(6) - shit terrified of parties, would much prefer a day out, or one or two friends round to play.

Op we do parties but not until the started P1. Dd will be having her first shortly.

We always gave them the choice of a party and a smaller gift from us or a larger gift from us without a party - so works out similar in cost anyway. Think that makes it fair as dd1 (ASD) has never enjoyed parties much.

Ds has always chosen the party and smaller gift, dd2 has also made this choice this year. I love it, it is a great way to get to know other parents and to see your child play with their friends. We have done parties in the house before which cost very little.

However it isn't essential at all and no one should ever feel bad if they cannot afford it or just don't want to do them. Like everything, it is personal choice. We always invite the dc's friends whether there has been a reciprocal invite or not - we don't care about that.

DC are 4 and 1.
Ds (4) has had:
1st birthday picnic in the park with relatives.
2nd birthday soft play with kids from toddler group.
3rd birthday- no party. We'd just switched to a new toddler group and didn't know people well plus his best pal had just moved away. He didn't have enough friends to fill out a party so we didn't bother. He had a special day out with a special picnic instead.
4th birthday: The works. Hired hall, bouncy castle, organised games, loads of kids.

Dd (1) has had a special day out and a birthday tea with family.

If they want one, yes - we do a birthday treat or a party, their choice.

As it is, DH has quite a large family so when we celebrate with family it turns into a bit of a party anyway.

Yes. We had a simular scenario last year. They had verb at the school less than half a term but already had a few little friends. Do you not have outside school friends or family to have a party with?

MissDuke didn't mean to come across as bitchy I have no problem with DSDs mum doing a bit party every year, she loves doing them and DSD loves having them! I just meant in general I don't think it is necessary for a child to have a big birthday party every year - if the parents are happy to do it then I don't have a problem with it, but I don't like the expectation that parents should have to do one every year.

We never have parties for DS as he finds them enormously stressful for some reason. I have huge issues with paying money for other children to enjoy themselves while DS works himself into a state of miserable sniping and near tears.
No idea why he does it, strangely he seems perfectly happy at other people's parties

Nope. We've never been able to afford to. No matter how much we try to save, the car will inevitably break down, there'll be a costly school or family event or the washing machine will need replacing so come December (DD2's - 6 - birth month) we've enough for Christmas presents only. DD1 who is 9 has also never had a party as her birthday falls before the next pay day after Christmas. And our son has missed out so far because he's only 4 and until we can afford something for his sisters, it would be unfair despite him being a March (more affordable) birthday.
Finances are starting to look up now so fingers crossed our kids may start getting them instead of a small sleepover or inviting a couple of pals for dinner.

Never. DS has SN and he goes to an out of County special school. He has no friends locally, we have a very small family with few children and he doesn’t like parties anyway. I usually take DS for a day out or weekend away for his birthday. However if money was tight then we would spend the day at home and DS would be happy with a pizza and dvd.
I used to feel guilty about not having a party but DS isn't bothered and he would hate it.

DS is only 2 so won't have this for a few years yet, but will probably give the choice like others on this thread have! As like with anything, some kids like them and some don't.