Embarrassing typos

[Sybarite]

AIBU (lighthearted) to think there's something in typos that are a bit on the naughty side; ie Freudian slips?

An ex girlfriend of mine, who was a really lovely person, very well spoken, very polite, used to appraise antiques. A young (compared to the usual clients) good looking guy called in to see her to explain that he had a clock he'd like her to look at...

She emailed him later that day to provide some info and signed off with:

"Looking forward to seeing your cock, I'm sure it's lovely!"

She realised what she'd typed instead of clock and in her panic didn't recall the message, but sent another email saying "so sorry! I meant your cock"

Anybody been left red faced after typing something you shouldn't have?

Would love to contribute but have nothing to offer to top that...

When I was in school doing my IT coursework I wrote "I used a floppy dick" - I'm not sure who was more embarrassed 15 year old me or the young male teacher!

When I was in secondry school, I text my mum and asked her if I could borrow some money to go to the cinema... her reply was "sorry, got no penis" instead of pennies! I love her

I often would type cuntomer in place of customer when I was a PA. It was quite apt a lot of the time.

Word cunt - 1978
at the end of an assignment.

I've called my colleague Cunthia a fair few times. And another one Shitley.

Client of mine once emailed asking me to "lick the landlord's arse".

He meant "kick". I was in hysterics. He was mortified!

Oh and when DF was a banker he sent out all the standard yearly interest increase letters. Got a reply from one client accepting the raise, but adding cryptically, "if you don't mind, I'd prefer to continue paying through the nose as usual!"

Confused, DF dug out the original letter - his secretary had typed "per anum" rather than "per annum"!

Hmmmmm, after typing that I just googled "per anum" because some of DF's stories that I swallowed hook line and sinker as a child turned out to be urban legends. Seems this one might be another!

Once typed 'kind retards' instead of 'kind regards' as the sign off to an email 😳

Once wrote a press release about the restoration of a lake which mentioned that it would offer crap fishing for anglers. I meant carp fishing...

I had a boss by the surname of Pendle. Every time I typed his name it autocorrected to Penile.

I once emailed my boss saying 'I know you're very busty' instead of busy

I have noticed a lot of people on social media recently commenting on how much they've enjoyed 'Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them'....

These are hilarious! I'm a teacher and once messaged my deputy head about some ideas, including one about "we're going on a breast hunt"

I once meant to write "The staff member" in a report. It was only after pressing the submit button that I noticed out of the corner of my eye I had written "stiff member" instead

Our work email system autocorrects inconvenience to incontinence so many a time have I apologised for wetting myself!

I once wrote an A-level essay about 'The Merchant of Venice' on an old typewriter (pretentious teen...) and accidentally referred to 'Shycock'.

I've also signed off a fair few emails with "Nest wishes" instead of "Best..."