Time dh stays out until

[williwonti]

Need a sense check. I'm annoyed dh stays out til 4am if he goes drinking. He doesnt go out that often but when he does, it's always till this sort of time. It annoys me but do i have right to be? Is it reasonable?

I am in the same boat as you! I can't tell either.

My irritation stems from the fact that it is both of our weekends and I don't want to spend it with someone that is worse for wear. I find it really selfish as I will be the one that looks after the dc today and he will mostly likely be really cranky. We both work hard but it usually means I don't get a break before going back on Monday.

Looks sadly at the pile of mock papers to be marked...

Exactly! He is just in (5am) and our DS has been so excited to do tree all week, i feel he's ruined it.

Yes - us too. Wonder if that will have to wait until Tomorrow now...

I think it depends how often it happens and whether you have plans the next day. My DH does that probably two or three times a year and I'm happy for him to do it, if that's what he wants, because it is so infrequent and we don't make plans for the following day.

If it was, say, monthly and it ruined something we were looking forward to I'd be shitty.

Can't you just do the tree later?

As pp said, it would depend how often it happens.

Not just about tree!
I'm angry as its been twice in two weekends - Christmas do and a leaving party for a friend.

Tired of being the one to do housework and childcare and have the more demanding, stressful job. Probably another issue all together really. Trying to be positive.

Sounds a bit like jealousy to me, he's been at dos not just a random night out.

Unless you have something planned for this morning YABU. Otherwise stick some Xmas films on and do your tree this afternoon.

This time of year is busy with various parties and celebrations so I would have expected my DH to pick one event for a blowout and the other to be a bit more tame - home earlier without drinking as much. Ruining two weekends it shit of him

I think it depends how often it happens, & how well he is able to function the next day. If it truly is a couple of times oves Christmas, & he gets up mid-morning, goes to bed early the following evening, & doesn't complain excessively about a hangover, I wouldn't worry. However, if it's becoming a regular thing & you feel it's taking over the entire weekend, you're entitled to have an opinion on it. Likewise if you feel your DH is backing out of family time & activities due to being hungover. My DH used to do this - go to house parties regularly & roll home steaming drunk in the early hours. I told him in no uncertain terms that if it carried on he'd be single as I was sick of it. He stopped getting drunk.

YANBU. I would say me and DP are equal for number of nights out but I always make sure I'm back at a reasonable hour because I know the kids will be up early etc.

He got in at 4.30 this morning which means he will spend the entire weekend recovering and I'll still be doing all the childcare and housework.

Haha no jealousy here! I have some similar evenings out in the pipeline that I am looking forward to. I won't have the luxury of someone to look after dc the next morning though.

He has got form for this and it came to a head last year. Just having a wallow. Hopefully it's out of his system. He's back now so I'm off out for a run. That'll get me out of this funk.

He is supposed to be out with son st 8.45, guess i'll see if that happens. I just hate fact it has to be a complete blow out. He's going to miss (or at best be a passive sofa watcher) of the day our children have been waiting for for ages.

My DP is fond of staying out late. I don't really mind. I just crack on and do things until he feels up to participating! He has a nice evening and spends time with this friends, I think that's important. It isn't every weekend by any means, just a few times a year. Sometimes I join him.

We both quite often go on nights out but a more probable home time here is around 2am. We have a sort of agreement that it doesn't impact on family life so no hangovers the next day affecting sports, activities with the kids etc. If you have a headache, it's your own fault and life goes on regardless.

DH used to do this a bit when the kids (and he ) were younger...

It was fine because he was never grumpy and suffered in silence and still pulled his weight with the kids, and then just go to bed as soon as they did.

I would not put up with having to tiptoe around a hingover man. He is not sick, it is self inflicted.

He needs to woman up and not be pathetic!

Think you mixed up a username change there OP

I wouldn't care but would be annoyed if it meant he was letting someone down (childre, me, friends etc). He can be anything from fresh as a daisy after 3 hours sleep to a disgusting monster despite being home at 10pm. It's every couple of months (for each of us) and isn't a problem.

He's sometimes on 'morning duty' when I've been out with friends, had a long week or whatever and vice versa. Actually, I think we each quite look forward to single parent and children (2 under 5) time occasionally. He nearly races to Burger King (and for some weird reason, he enjoys soft play) when it's his time with them.

Oh god, mine does this. He hardly ever goes out, pulls all his weight and more with DD, but when he does, he's incapable of just having a few drinks, it has to be a 5am stumbling noisy "but i loooooooove you, I don't want to sleep on the sofa" fiasco. Why don't these men have an off switch? Why?!

It's so irritating!

Good luckwilliwonti hope your day gets better. Going to the park - hoping he'll have rallied by the time we get back.

Temporary - that's exactly it. He missed a very important "thing" today and feels terrible. I'm majorly majorly pissed off! Had a very very shit day.

Neither of us go out very often, but when we do we just accept next day is pretty much write off. Every weekend, 4am would be very unreasonable indeed, a handful of times a year, just check next day's diary before you/he arrange it.