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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you help with my husband who is deploying for 6 months?

59 replies

ShowOfHands · 02/12/2016 20:10

I am most shamelessly posting in aibu for traffic. This is also a desperate plea for help.

I have just moved house. It was all very delayed due to last minute legal brouhahas and conveyancing woes. We've been in for 2 days. DH is deploying for 6 months this weekend. He can't take a phone. We have anticipated regular skype, email, messenger stuff for the dc (9 and 5) to make the transition easier.

This is our problem. Our broadband and landline are provided by vodafone but we can't be connected until at least the 19th because openreach are too busy. Vodafone say they can't do anything. I can't find a telephone number for BT openreach but apparently, they won't talk to me anyway because our contract is with Vodafone. Ironically, BT Openreach's chosen charity to support is SSAFA. Is there anything I can do? Vodafone have offered free mobile data until it's fixed but I've moved to a tiny village. The mobile data doesn't work. I've driven for 25 minutes to find enough reception to get on MN and it's taken 20 minutes to get this far.

I can't get on any websites, can't find numbers. Can any kind souls who have Google or similar and the ability to look, suggest any phone numbers for Openreach? Or an email address? Or any bright ideas?

I know no internet for 3 weeks isn't a big deal but we're going to be quite isolated, unable to contact DH and sorting out all sorts of things is proving impossible without internet.

I'll try and check back tonight but it may be tomorrow when I can get to somewhere with Wi-Fi for an hour. Any suggestions or numbers gratefully received. Or just tell me to get the feck on with my life without internet. I suspect nobody can help but I want to try and ask a real human if I can.

OP posts:
madgingermunchkin · 02/12/2016 20:13

Will try and have a look online for you, but also just want to point out that we didn't have Skype/FaceTime/emails when my dad deployed. It was good old fashioned blueys and snail mail.

It will be difficult, but you will all survive it. It won't be the end of the world.

lovelyupnorth · 02/12/2016 20:15

Use Ceoemail.com and message the md. of both Vodafone. And Openreach and it will get sorted pretty quick.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/12/2016 20:16

Is there a library near with internet access? Or can you ask the school to help your DCs?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/12/2016 20:17

Also maybe speak to SSAFA they may have a facility near that you can use Internet from

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 02/12/2016 20:20

Thank you for replying.

We will doubtless get through it. It's just hard given that the whole world is geared up around the internet and there's been a lot of other change in our lives and I've been prepping the dc to manage the deployment a certain way. We'll doubtless adapt but I thought I'd try.

I'm being pathetic I suspect! I freely admit I also don't want to feel isolated whilst adjusting. We've never done this before.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 02/12/2016 20:21

Do you have a neighbour who's WiFi password they may let you have use of for the couple of weeks in return for something nice?

whyohwhy000 · 02/12/2016 20:21

You can't discuss this with Openreach directly because they supply the internet companies, not the customers.

Are there cafés/libraries/soft play/restaurants with free internet nearby?

theothersideoftheworld · 02/12/2016 20:23

Is your husband based near you? Can you go into station and use the internet in the Hive? If not, speak to the welfare officer at his unit and see if they can help?

mygorgeousmilo · 02/12/2016 20:25

Ask him to leave them some letters dated ahead, so they feel regular connection, and get them to write a kind of diary for him, draw pictures etc. or to record them and send to him when you have connection. He could also record some videos just saying hi etc that you open on later dates. Flowers

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 02/12/2016 20:27

Sorry, getting replies one at a time.

Due to DH's job, his Skype slot will be his lunch break which is 7am-7.30am UK time. If not at home, it probably won't happen. We have a mobile library service but a big library 20 miles away which is an option for emails.

OP posts:
Doublemint · 02/12/2016 20:31

It's only 3 weeks, I'd just bite he bullet and not speak regularly for that time. It's quite normal to only Skype once a ming or so. I'd make it part of my routine with the DCs for those three weeks to drive somewhere with mobile signal/internet access and check emails and send replies then. If it's a regular time you could have a email date session so it's more like a chat or phonecall.
Three weeks isn't that long to not have communication in forces families- you can do this!

Doublemint · 02/12/2016 20:31

Once a ming? Once a month! Sorry for typos have a wriggly baby on my lap!

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 02/12/2016 20:42

3 weeks is ordinarily fine I agree but DH is away on a very big occasion and promised the dc faithfully that he'd skype that day. It's the 12th and we were given a maximum delay of 10 days initially (from Nov 29th) but they rang to say they're unusually busy and it's 3 weeks now instead of the 10 days they advertise.

A delay is fine and we expected it but any quicker than 3 weeks would be fab.

I'm going to have to go home but thank you so much for replying. I think just the reassurance is what I need more than anything.

We're not a forces family btw. DH is on secondment to the MOD. This is entirely new.

OP posts:
poshme · 02/12/2016 20:56

OP try contacting your MP. They have special numbers & email addresses to contact people like open reach, which can speed things along.
Good luck!

lapsedorienteerer · 02/12/2016 21:00

YANBU, however I've been out of the system so long now that I'm a bit out of touch.

otherside......deploying seems to indicate he's going somewhere hot and sandy and not very pleasant. Could also be cold and snowy Grin.

BratFarrarsPony · 02/12/2016 21:04

You can make your smartfone into a hotspot. My son used to do it for me when we were living in the middle of nowhere without internet access.
It is quite easy to do. Are you good with smartfones or do you know any resourceful teenagers?

MrsChrisPratt · 02/12/2016 21:05

Do you have neighbours? If so, knock on their door and explain the situation - I would 100% give you my broadband password to use until yours is installed, in fact I have in the past, for a much lesser reason. It'll take some balls to ask but go for it, you might make a friend in the bargain

FiveGoMadInDorset · 02/12/2016 21:08

I would do the neighbours suggestion, this would be low on the priority list for an MP to sort out

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/12/2016 21:08

I'd definitely ask neighbours. Openreach have just been fined for prioritising some customers and companies; they aren't supposed too. I don't live somewhere rural so I don't think your my neighbour, but I'd be more than happy to give you my wifi password so you could Skype DH for three weeks.

theothersideoftheworld · 02/12/2016 21:13

I know 😄...... trust me!

Baylisiana · 02/12/2016 21:15

Have you tried connecting to the Internet to see if you are in an area covered by BT openzone....if so it will appear as an available network and you can buy acces by the hour,,week, month etc.

Other than that I think you can buy dongles or something? Or you can purchase mobile broadband? I do not know much about this, hope someone will post who does.

Sunbeam18 · 02/12/2016 21:17

Can you go to nearby cafe or restaurant or library to use the wifi??

baconandeggies · 02/12/2016 21:23

Op has said she doesn't get a good enough signal in her village for mobile internet, so she can only get on the net by connecting to WiFi.

Second suggestions to see if you're in a BT open zone or plead with neighbours if you're in range of their router.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 02/12/2016 21:32

Ooh look, supermarket wifi...

I know no useful teenagers and know even less about technology. There are no open networks at home. I've met one neighbour who is elderly and I'm reluctant to make him feel uncomfortable by asking. I'll go and introduce myself to the other side tomorrow anyway.

BT Openreach have been working in our road yesterday and today but the nice chaps said they were working on other houses and weren't allowed to help.

I'm led to believe that 6 months encompasses hot and sandy AND freezing cold. And a malaria risk. And no Christmas.

I really am going home now.

OP posts:
kansasmum · 02/12/2016 21:32

I have pm'd you.