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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel that we may as well have thrown the money away?

124 replies

Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:26

Dd1 was struggling with maths. She has health issues so that's possibly why. A year ago we got a maths tutor for her.
We could only afford once a fortnight and this kept being mentioned but as we couldnt stretch to more we kept it the same.

Tutor seemed good, dd however kept saying he was going over the same things all the time.
He said she would def pass gcse and that she was improving each time.dd maintained she wasn't but I took the tutors word for it.
Very suddenly a few weeks ago the owner of the tutoring group sent a message saying they couldn't tutor dd anymore. Too busy.
They are still advertising though as having spaces?

Anyway, just got dds latest test back and she got a very very low mark, the lowest she's ever got ?? He was so positive and I knowbher health has been bad but I didn't expect this?

We wasted all the money we spent on tutoring didn't we? It was so expensive :(

OP posts:
Hercules12 · 02/12/2016 19:29

Trouble is tutoring even once a week isn't enough. You need to back it up with regular work at home to see a real difference.

Hercules12 · 02/12/2016 19:30

Also sadly they could fill her place with a weekly person so more money.

AnyFucker · 02/12/2016 19:32

We used a tutor for my dad and on a resit she got a worse grade than the original Smile

If they have the ability, they have it. We learned that the hard way too

Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:32

She was doing work at home between sessions but I hoped that hour 1:1 each fortnight would have helped even slightly

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/12/2016 19:32

My *dd

burgundyandgoldleaves · 02/12/2016 19:33

I'm not hugely convinced tutoring makes much difference. I had private tutors since being eight in Maths; I am still utterly hopeless in Maths!

Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:33

It's tough as i know she needs 5 a-c GCSEs including maths and it's not looking likely :(
I was hoping to avoid resits for her but I suppose it may just end up that way

OP posts:
Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:34

It just feels like £1000 down the drain

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/12/2016 19:35

A thousand quid ? Jesus !

They saw you coming Shock

FourToTheFloor · 02/12/2016 19:36

I was going to ask AF what your dad was studying... Smile

Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:37

£40 p h

That's the average rate round here. I'd looked at a few different tutors and all similar

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 02/12/2016 19:37

What do the school say? Are they offering her additional support?

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 02/12/2016 19:39

I've been in similar position. Paying for tutor for maths (as its so important) but DS still got a D (ie just passed) in exam, despite private tutoring. But his other results were also poor/average so no university but doing OK at college. Dd now also wanting maths tutor but she is poor/average at all subjects - so I am thinking no point in getting OK mark in maths (with 125 pound month tutor) but failing everything else - does that make sense?

IJustWantABrew · 02/12/2016 19:39

She may have simply had a bad day. If you want tutoring do you have a local university and see if a maths student would like to tutor your daughter. I'm sure they would like the income and you could probably pay half what you were, and then afford once a week.
Alternatively ask her maths teacher what her biggest issues are and ask if there is any recommended work you can access as a parent to help her?

Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:40

Well they are now (finally) , is kept calling and going in over the previous couple of years as results were going down but they said she was doing ok......so we got a tutor

Dds health is so bad though it's obviously not helped but I think when i saw all the posts about great results for the tutor agency o felt like posting "thanks for tutoring dd for the past year-justvwantes to let you know she's had an all time low result of 14% in her last test"

OP posts:
Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:41

*just wanted

OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 02/12/2016 19:43

Studying a subject at Uni doesn't make you a good tutor!

AnyFucker · 02/12/2016 19:45

Just let it go, op

I have seen two teens through their gcse's now and the one piece of hindsight advice I would give is if they can do it, and they want to do it, they will

Any effort that you put into it, outside of providing a supportive environment for study, is an utter waste of time

Mark my words

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 02/12/2016 19:47

I'm afraid that I'm inceasinglybof the opinion that good teaching, support at home and effectivechomework should be enough for a child with average or above ability.

If the tutoring isn't making a dpositive difference, maybe the child just doesn't shine at that particular subject. There are times, I'm sure, when poor teaching, absence from school and so on, can play a part, but in general, if they've got the ability, they should be able to hack it with the work they're doing at school and home.

Original poster
Hedgehog80 · 02/12/2016 19:48

It just feels like it's all gone to shit

Tutoring hadnt helped so dds confidence is low and she's so physically unwell I'm wondering if school work is important at all at the current time
It's just irritating the hell out of me that it didn't help and they dropped us!

OP posts:
mrwalkensir · 02/12/2016 19:52

try Khan Academy etc on youtube - very good (mine all used it by choice as backup for maths). Free and your daughter can go at a speed that suits her

Chartreuse45 · 02/12/2016 19:54

That is disgusting! Absolute disgrace to the
Institution of tutoring. He claimed she was improving when he knew she was not, kept his income coming in until he could fill the hour (or am I too cynical?) I tutor and I am fearlessly honest as to progress made or to be made. Once I had a weekend organised, Friday evening, Saturday afternoon and Sunday. When I arrived on Saturday the homework I had sent to be done was not, I went through it and at the end of that session told the mother to save her money and my time. Yes. I could have continued so I would get the cash but my conscience would not let me.

NavyandWhite · 02/12/2016 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justinelibertine · 02/12/2016 19:55

Oh OP. It'll be OK. I was in your DD's position, albeit, 17 years ago. I was always in the bottom set for Maths. And also had health problems. School wouldn't even enter me into the intermediate exam to at least try to get a C. I needed a C for university.
Had one tutor for a year and he was rubbish at everything apart from eating biscuits. Predicably got a D on the GCSE and never saw him for dust.
Had another tutor who had a slightly different approach and managed to pass with a C in the autumn of upper sixth form. To this day I am not entirely sure how.

Keep going.

JsOtherHalf · 02/12/2016 19:56

Go to www.khanacademy.org
Join it for free.
Ignore all the begging emails you'll get asking for donations.
Get her to start at the beginning with maths, and let her work her way through everything.