To have had a rage at my "project manager"

[Pupsiecola]

Small kitchen extension and new kitchen started at the very start of September. Work was scheduled in in May. I told him I didn't want to start until he could guarantee a solid run of trades in. He said he understood. He said he has done enough of our type of house (modern estate) to not foresee any problems. He said it would take 2 months and quoted us 17k. He said this did not include electrics, plumbing, painting or worktops or kitchen/appliances. Is a very small extension - probably the size of three normal sized downstairs loos but we needed to do it to get a solid run of wall without windows/doors.

He suggested we build the new kitchen (as it is going in the new end) before the old one is removed, so that we wouldn't be kitchenless.

This guy is a neighbour and whilst I wouldn't say a friend (not now!) we have socialised together with others in our road.

It's been a catalogue of errors and delays. Mainly because he has also had two big jobs running at the same time. An example of things that have happened:-

1. Four weeks in there was a miscommunication between this PM (runs his old building company, fingers in lots of different pies), the plumber and roofer which resulted in us not being allowed to use our boiler for 5 days over a weekend (so no heating or hot water).

1. Six weeks in the roof still wasn't watertight and flash floods took out all our electrics on a Sunday. We were without for about 4 hours. It actually took 2 months for them to knock through.

1. A couple of months in he said we'd need to factor in 1k to pay the kitchen fitter and some money for labour to remove the old kitchen. We thought this was part of the lump sum work (because why wouldn't it be + he told us what WASN'T included). I think he has actually incurred more costs because of running over, and so wants to recoup that from us.

1. This week the plasterer plasterboarded the old kitchen ceiling as instructed by PM. But the electrician had not finished up there. Now electrician cannot get back until next week sometime. And plasterboard needs to come down again (I know and trust electrician and believe cock up is PM's).

1. Two days ago the old kitchen was taken out despite the new part just being a plastered, empty shell. I have nothing. Not even a tap.

1. Today whilst I happened to be in the back garden I saw that he had put our 1k water softener in the back garden TWO DAYS AGO, next to the oven and dishwasher which I have paid the council to take away. A) he didn't empty it so the water in it is frozen (which could crack it on thawing and B) the council would have taken it away had I not realised.

Over the last 13 weeks we have probably had a whole month where we've had no-one on site. This is the reason it has run over.

I have two boys, 13 and 11. I have no facilities. Had I known I would have made plans, but HE told me we wouldn't be without a kitchen. DH travels a fair bit atm and is in the US for 6 days.

Every week something slips. Units were meant to be built this week. Granite templating was meant to happen today (it didn't). Granite takes 7 days to arrive and the units are still in their individual parts, taking up all the space in my dining room. Not even built so templating not gonna happen any time soon. It's the 1st of December ffs.

And to top it all off I saw a mutual friend last week who told me he has been complaining to ex-neighbours that WE are being unreasonable (because I am asking for weekly updates and want to know what is going on and what is being done about issues. All friendly so far as I haven't wanted things to get awkward..

So, today I kind of let him have it. I feel like cumulative stress/disappointment/bullshit/poor expectation management and communication/extra finances has finally caught up with me. DH says I need to calm down, although he is equally pissed off but handles it better or rather differently (but he's not here is he!).

Never had such a big building project done before. Is this normal and AIBU to be really effing pissed off?

I'd have fired the ass of any project manager like that. You're not unreasonable. They guy is incompetent.

Thanks glue.

Any more?

Have you paid him the money?

I would fire him too.

It sounds like the PM is not delivering to time and quality agreed.
Following your complaint, what has the PM suggested to address the issues?
If you are still not satisfied, and depending on the situation with payments, fire the PM for cause! But not before you have a new PM / tradesmen lines up to complete the job.

Thanks for the replies. He has said that it will be done in 2 weeks. I don't see how. The templating for the granite can't be done yet and then it takes 7 days to cut the granite. We have paid him most of the money. He now wants 2k more (new patio door plus plasterer). I am not paying him any more money until I see significant progress. He is the sort of person who says one thing and doesn't follow through. So he sets expectations then it doesn't happen. And of course it's never his fault. (I accept sometimes things don't go to plan, unforeseen problems come up). He is also quite sexist and will talk down to/try to handle me which I cannot bare. So all this tension has been building for a while now.

Don't worry about the granite, he can fit a temporary worktop which is fine. The rest is not fine. The only way forward is a daily update meeting and keep on at him until he's so sick of you he gets it done.

I hope you owe him money.

Thanks Matilda. Yes, he has been getting pissed off with me because I have been trying to Project Manage him a little. Asking for updates, politely, which I think is fair enough. But he thinks is unreasonable and a pain. I messaged him yesterday morning to ask, realistically, when we will have an oven because I would go buy a camping stove if necessary. He still hasn't replied to that one. Hasn't mentioned it at all, despite me seeing him face to face this morning for 10 minutes.

He sounds dreadful, and you are right to manage him closely. Sod weekly updates, I would want daily updates of work completed versus expected to be completed this week, using words like 'on track', and putting dates down. How disappointing for you [cake

Thanks Candle. Been tricky so far as I've been trying to hard not to fall out over it. But I've now reached the conclusion that people you choose to socialise with shouldn't treat you like this!

This is a pic of my kitchen as it is today. 13 weeks after work started.

seems way over time to me - similar project to yours, kitchen extension, moving sewage pipes- big hassle.
new concrete floor, knock through, old kitchen out, re plaster old/new kitchen after rewire, underfloor heating (put under where the kitchen cupboards are :( - why???) marble tiles on floor laid.
new kitchen fitted, granite template, fitted a week later, had to remove window to get it in as it was 7ft long and 5 ft wide at one end (huge breakfast bar on one end)
total 50k and 7 weeks.The kitchen company did all the building works for us and project managed for us, When it was complete they sent in professional cleaners who cleaned our entire house - 4 x cleaners for 4 hours to remove all signs of builders dust.
They were fantastic.
Can you not sack your PM and manage the final stages yourselves?
I hope it all comes together for you for Xmas.

Wow bird I am utterly 🤢. Sounds like you guys did an amazing job. I cannot believe how long this has gone on. It's a total nightmare. Looks like I am not BU, despite what he thinks.

I'm a complete novice at DIY but I managed to paint a 4 bed house including gloss, lay a wood floor and lay a lawn in 10 days with minimal help. They should be well done by now.

We had a 3 room extension with a new bathroom, drains excavated, laid and connected within 8 weeks, I was quoted 5 weeks but it was delayed by snow when they couldn't dig or lay bricks. You are being far from unreasonable.

In answer to previous questions we are not at all equipped to finish it ourselves. I really appreciate the replies. Thank you

Is he a professional? As in experienced and insured? If so then I would start communicating with him in writing and cataloguing these issues. If he carries on pissing you about then you may want to take legal action if he still doesn't end up delivering, in which case a written record will be helpful.

There are lots of experienced builders who are crap at PM but great at building. PM takes skill and judgement to get it right and being good at building does not automatically equate to being good at PM.

Lay out your expectations; list what still needs to be done and ask for a firm timetable from him as to when it is going to happen. Make it clear that the balance of what you owe him will not be paid until the project is completed to your satisfaction. Just be aware that there is a risk he might decide to cut his losses and walk off the project, in which case it may be wise to start lining up someone as a backup to get it finished.

Oh and I would tell your DH to naff off. It's very easy to say 'calm down' when you're off in the States and not living amongst chaos and having to deal with this fuckwit on a daily basis!

Where are you based.....have you got my old builder....god help you if you have!

Hampshire fatman.

Thank you Paul. Wise advice. He has a proper company yes. He doesn't do the building work. He runs projects and pulls in the trades. Today I got in touch with the person we bought the house from 2 years ago, because I know one of the other projects he's working on is hers. Well, not surprisingly she is having major issues too (is it you fatman?!) with poor communication, cock ups etc. He just takes far too much on at once and hasn't got the people. He is waiting for £2k but he's not getting it (he hasn't asked for the last few days - probably too scared).

Today the kitchen fitter has turned up to assemble the cabinets and put them on the walls. However, the walls have not been painted. The "PM" said the walls would need a wash of paint before putting the cabinets up. This has not happened; they are going onto (dry) bare plasterboard/plaster. From some rudimentary research it seems the walls should be primed/painted, especially around the sink/dishwasher. I know we are cutting corners now. How concerned should I be about this issue?

Sussex here but yes major problems. I got in touch with his previous clients (met them midway through their build project when they were really happy with his work) only to find they are having even greater problems and are about to bring legal action against him......next time, if ever, we will source each trade ourselves....people should not be allowed to do as these cowboys do

Just an update. We sacked him last week. He behaved appallingly and actually refused to give us our key back (we had the locks changed yesterday). He also tried to charge us £1k for labour we hadn't had. It has been an awful experience.