Ditherers

[Clarabellb]

Those people who queue for bloody ages at security and then once at the front need to un bloody load their liquids, re package them...discover new liquids, laptops...Christ on an effin bike!

Frequent flier here! I also get very irritated at the faffers who offload once they reach the front of the queue. How do people not know about the rigmarole that is getting through security?

Being catapulted out of my seat and having my hair yanked by the person behind using my seat as a leaver. The knobs who stretch in the exit row area then flip up the window blind to have a look outside blinding you, yeah hello people sitting here some of us trying to sleep!

Once upon a time flying was quite good fun, now it's just such a pain in the arse!

Museum I have my laptop, ipad and a few essential liquids in a small case for long haul and manage to be ready

Is it just me that notices, or do the crew say "shortly" a lot?

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be departing on this flight to..."
"we will shortly be joining you..."
"we will shortly be landing..."

I count them for fun.
Last week was 14

Oh lazy yes! And those that have the reading light on throughout the whole pissing flight

Susan yes its no fun any more, especially on budget airlines.

I used to work on oxford street. It's the worst and at Christmas you couldn't even move for people randomly stopping dead in front of you. I just duck and weave now - DP says in a crowd I move through it like a kite!

My dad is a terminal faffer (by which I mean that it will prove terminal when my mother finally snaps and bludgeons him to death). I have traumatic childhood memories of him hovering around huffing and tutting because we were taking too long to put our shoes and coats on, and once we were all finally ready and sitting in the car waiting to go he would suddenly remember six thousand urgent last-minute tasks and leave us waiting on the driveway for half an hour.

I also get annoyed when you land and wait ages for the steps to connect.

A plane has landed at the airport! How unexpected!

Or when people undo their seat belts before you land so they can barge in front of you to disembark!

Okay that's not ditherers, that's just a flight hate

My DP is a real faffer.

But air travel knes grind my gears, get to security wearing the contents of TATA steel's entire assests and keep trying to go through the gates removing them one by fucking one as you remember you are donned head to toe in pissing metal

Yes and why must we have so many announcements

'Ladies and gentlemen welcome onboard your blah blah flight to blah blah. My name is Simon Birdseed I'll be your captain for your flight and flying today is First officer Nigel, your cabin crew onboard today are Sheila in 1st class, Robert and Tara in club, Tina, Chardonnay, Tyler and Pete in our world traveller our flight today is errrr around 10 hours and 55 minutes which means we'll be getting you errrrr on the ground at around errrr 13.05. Blah blah

Bing! 'Ladies and gentlemen as the captain has already said...'

If he's already announced it why must we endure another?!! How many bloody inflight announcements must we have?

People that start farting around in the passport queue. No you don't need your keys, you need your passport. MOVE!

Absolutely Susan

I used to work with a girl who when we went out for staff lunches used to dither for about 25 minutes about whether to have a cheese and pickle sandwich or a ploughmans EVERY FUCKING TIME. One they put it in the bread for you, the other you do yourself. Pull yourself together FFS. This was about 16 years ago. Still irritates me when I remember it.

People who don't know it's flight etiquette to put their seat up so you're not eating your meal off your tits

Arf I no longer give him options re: hot beverages.
If I'm making coffee, he gets coffee. Offering tea or coffee is just asking for 10 mins of "hmm I don't mind" then coming to the conclusion of "I'll just have what you're having"

Yes, airport security ditherers. People in coffee or sandwich shops who've been in line for ages yet haven't even looked at the menu board let alone come close to making a decision when they get to the front, people in supermarket lines who wait right until everything has been scanned to start rummaging in bags and purses for their cards/money. You've been standing in line for 25 minutes another 5 minutes while your stuff was being scanned and bagged and it only occurs to you now that you have produce a method to pay for it?

All of you people are on my permanent shitlist.

Omg, sorry just another annoying flight related post

Bill that is funny. How did you bite your tongue?

Itsallaboutme, you've just reminded me of a supermarket hate!
The self service tills are supposed to be quicker...but not if you have a dumbass in front of you...she even said...these things take longer...aye, maybe for you love!

I have a lovely friend who whenever we go out for dinner waits until the 'Hi are you ready to order' after already asking for another minute to then decide she's going to change her mind! Every time...then she takes what seems like forever to re read the menu..I'm screaming inside. Eventually I say something like, 'anytime today would be good' argh!

Queueing recently, and at the actual security belt, with their cases about to go through, a couple decided this was the right time to start slowly and in the most leisurely fashion, to take out their toiletries and start to place them into plastic bags. Ridiculous!

The security guy called the rest of the queue past them.

The people who dither at the airport security or supermarket till are also the people who dither at the exit.
They'll exit the supermarket doors, then stop still, dithering about which way to go, or putting purses back in bags, wallets away, etc. slap bang in the middle of a doorway, while half a dozen people behing them pile into each other and get stuck behind them.
They are always completely oblivious to this.

Oh and don't get me started on the ones who've just checked in, then carefully replace their boarding pass/ID somewhere in their many many pocketed bags with carryon stuff for the duration of the 100 yard walk between dropping their luggage and getting to the ID check point then fuck around holding everyone else up while zipping and unzipping bags and pockets looking for them. WTF is wrong with you? You just had them in your hand, keep them in your hand!