Ridiculous made up 'traditions'

[Sittinonthefloor]

Looking at you on your shelf, Elf . It actually has the word 'tradition' on the box, after what, 2 years?

Also spotted today 'Christmas Table Favours' eh? Not a thing! They were like wedding favours (also ridiculous) but gold and silver. That's what crackers are for surely?

Advent calendars for grown ups, Christmas pjs, also Christmas Eve boxes (haven't dared discover what they are though).

Love, love, love made up / evolved family traditions but feel irrationally enraged by the commercial ones, and more so that people seem to fall for it with enthusiasm!

On the other hand this would explain how people have enough pyjamas to have a clean pair every night on a fortnight's holiday.

I also think that Batteriesallgone is right, and that people are just shocked that not everyone does things their way.

Touché

But seriously, Facebook isn't a giant source of misery. It's a collection of stuff that people write/photograph/share. And if that stuff makes you miserable, then maybe it's worth tweaking your Facebook feed to cut out the people who make you feel dissatisfied/annoyed etc. Because life is too short to get stressed out by a Facebook feed.

It's how you post n facebook, I post a picture of the dc next to the tree with Merry Christmas as a caption. Other people post a gazillion photos with the caption #lovemylife #beautifulchristmas #dreamscometrue. I'm not saying they are wrong need shot but well come on. Maybe I'm an old grinch.

And if that stuff makes you miserable, then maybe it's worth tweaking your Facebook feed to cut out the people who make you feel dissatisfied/annoyed etc. Because life is too short to get stressed out by a Facebook feed.

It was something like this that led me to conclude that Facebook is toxic. If I can design my life so that I get input from the people I have selected and I can completely block out the noise of anyone I disagree with, or who 'offends' me, then my view of reality becomes skewed. Then things like Brexit and Donald Trump happen I am all surprised because I haven't heard anyone talk about them positively - why? Because I had designed it that way.

At least on this forum I will meet people for and against each view. I have also noticed not having Facebook does make me more likely to speak to people in real life - even if I'm sometimes shocked (or 'offended') by what I hear!

I'm deconstructing the safe space I accidentally built.

user my kids get a satsuma every year, which they eat straight away, and last year I put a golden delicious apple in each - we usually buy red ones - and they were thrilled with it. This year I was thinking of putting a real coin in amongst the chocolate ones - mine are only little but these things are not out of date.

I think it depends what you want out of it, you can have whatever Christmas you want, you don't have to buy into the huge commercialism of it, the John Lewis tie-in toys etc. We're having judgemental relatives instead of judgemental elves, as is traditional

I started a Christmas eve hamper way before they became a thing and I've always had a calendar. I get your point though. There is so much more commercial crap to Christmas now. I think we have social media to thank for it hmm

I love how elf on the shelf says tradition on the box, like you can buy such a concept!

I am totally jumping on Christmas eve boxes though. Ds was born last Christmas eve so for us we're using it as a way in the evening to move from celebrating his birthday to preparing for Christmas and getting into the excitement of that.

I mean as long as people are being sensible and doing the stuff they want or works for them, and aren't just doing whatever everyone else is doing on Facebook it's fine and all. So many people are obviously just doing whatever soon a fear of their kids missing out. It's like enforced merriment!

But Gravy, don't people generally choose to surround themselves with people whose company they enjoy and who treat them well, and who they like? Isn't that pretty much what friendship is?

My Facebook friends are my actual friends, and my family. They are the people who I will meet up with for a cup of tea if they live nearby, or meet for a drink if I am in their part of the world if they live far away.

And generally speaking, if someone else spends time boasting about their life in order to make me feel bad, and doesn't stop when I point out what they are doing, then I don't want to be their friend.

I talk to people in real life, too :-)

I find MN far more toxic than FB, but it's also an amazing source of entertainment, support and useful tips.

I fail to see how a new pair of pyjamas once a year for a fast-growing child is excessive consumerism. I actually bought DD a second pair of pyjamas this summer because her Christmas ones were too warm. Two whole sets of nightwear in a single year! In my young days etc.

I respectfully disagree with you, but that's really my whole point.
I also think you're applying ideas on this thread very very literally to your own personal life experience, which is unique. Either that or you're being facetious. I don't think anyone is suggesting that two pairs of pyjamas a year is excessive.

It's not about consumerism to me, it's about making everything XMAS!!!!! Spend what you like on what you want but why does everything have to be a themed xmas 'tradition' because it happens to be done in December. I personally find it really stifling and oppressive.

I'm sort of doing both, Gravy. I see plenty of people here doing a sort of reflexive disparaging of the way that other people do things without any consideration that the people who do those thing find them positive in some way. Of course two pairs of pyjamas isn't excessive, but plenty of people on here have been claiming that A Christmas Eve box with hot chocolate, pyjamas etc is some kind of symbol of excessive consumerism.

Most people do something a bit excessive over Christmas - what that is varies from family to family. Some people evil give huge piles of presents. Some will give very expensive presents. Some will travel a long way. Some will wear beautiful dresses and jewels to a black tie New Year's Eve party. Some will light up the street with decorations. Some will have an enormous Christmas tree. Some will set up elaborate stunts with a toy elf. Some will spend hours cooking or making things. And those are all OK.

And some people really will not put up any decorations, give small, hand-made presents to a few people and give their children a few sweets, a satsuma, a book and a doll, and that's fine, too.

I just find these threads a bit mean-spirited, sneering at other people's joy.

I do think that there seems to be an increasing trend to spend lots of money on various things like weddings, Christmas, personal grooming etc, but it's generally easy enough to just carry on having a nice time without doing those things rather than complaining about what other people do and trying to make them feel bad.

Meh I think a lot of what you are doing is projecting your feelings and applying them to the whole world.

Nothing intrinsically wrong with that - very human and we all do it. But if people want to sneer, let them sneer. I don't share my family traditions with anyone but my family, so they'd have a hard time passing judgement on me.

[Wanders off wondering if anyone does elf on the shelf for the 'tradition' without the photos to compete with their other eots parent friends show the dc when they are older...]

Broomstick It's not about sneering and making people feel bad. It's about knowing that starting Christmas in November, spending tons of money and endless "traditions" are unecessary to having a good Christmas.

I saw on fb that the rotary club where I'm from are still doing their traditional santa tour, driving round local streets so the children can come out and meet santa (fuzzy memory but on something like s milk float???) it's one of my favourite Christmas memories from childhood as it was so exciting going outside in the cold and dark in my pjs and slippers to meet santa! I'm really glad it's still going for my friends dc to enjoy

Father Christmas toilet lid covers...

One of the benefits of living in a backwater is that the Rotary and Round Table still come round

Where I grew up (totally different region, city) it was the Salvation Army band. That absolutely screams Christmas to me but they don't do rounds here.

I mean why is it suddenly a Christmas Eve "hamper".
I pretty sure tons of families have and will watch something on TV in pajamas with a drink on Christmas Eve. It's a nice cosy thing to do.
How has it bcome a " tradition". Oh because now it involves buying new pajamas and a new DVD and special marshmallows etc etc etc.

Exactly reveal you can't just watch a film in your loungewear on xmas eve eating chocs. No! A specially procured outfit for each family member must be boxed alongside special mugs, spoons, plates, dvds and books. Christmas versions of hot chocolate, sweets, marshmallows and bath stuff must be added to this festive pile as well as various things to get santa to stop on his rounds. Ideally the box has been brought by an elf that has spent nearly four weeks thinking up mischief or activities to perform daily round the house. This is the magic of xmas and apparently it's no real effort or outlay.

If you want to do it then fine, it's the insistence it's no effort, low cost and is integral to the magic of the season that grates on me.

ArgyMargy I don't have piles of pyjamas lying about the house, my kids have grown, like they do, so buying them new ones to replace the outgrown ones seemed like a sensible option to me.

Why is it any different giving the kids pyjamas on Christmas eve to any other day of the year? I take it the people sneering about giving them at Christmas do buy their children pyjamas at some other point in the year?

I don't personally do most of the traditions mentioned on here but I don't think one pair of pyjamas a year is excessive (My kids grow like weeds and get many more than that). And I couldn't really care less if people want to put them in a box. You can spend as little or as much as you like on eots. I know people who have the official one and set up elaborate scenarios and I also know people who have a pound shop elf that gets hidden each night. Which costs a pound. From this thread you can see most people do things differently and think their traditions are the right ones. Christmas is commercialised. The majority of it is unnecessary. If you do presents/cards/a huge indulgent meal then you have bought into it too.

I think it's weird to get pissed off my elf on the shelf.

DEMum101 Maybe parents who tell their kids the presents are off them and not Santa feel resentful that your kids tell them Santa goes to their house. I assume you would be ok with them telling their kids to tell yours that Santa has to keep an eye on them co they're naughty If your dislike of elves is worth your child being sad and excluded over something you can buy at the poundshop and spend 2 seconds moving each evening then that is your decision to own.

I've read the entire thread in the hope that someone will give some detail on the 'Yule goat'. As mentioned on page 2. Unless I was so tired last night I imagined it

Maybe said goat comes along to trample the elf.

#lovechristmas

If your dislike of elves is worth your child being sad and excluded over something you can buy at the poundshop and spend 2 seconds moving each evening then that is your decision to own.

This. This pisses me off. No, my child is NOT sad or excluded by not having a bloody elf

I don't look down anyone's traditions or what they do as part of their celebrations; my traditions do not happen to include an elf or loads of presents, or whatever else people on social media think I should be doing

And I do not appreciate people or marketing companies trying to put me or my family down because we do things our own way

Well, you've identified the problem people are having with it - it's not just a tradition within the family carried out behind closed doors, it's a showy, instagrammed, facebooked, school playground "thing" that has to be kept up with at the risk of a sad and excluded child. All those little pounds add up, and I'm not sure the enjoyment pay off is worth it. Christmas is exciting enough, but people having a quieter run at it aren't telling everyone who will listen that it was business as usual except for a advent calendar window, and their kids are excited enough by that. Do what you like, but don't bang on about it or make others feel inadequate for not doing the same.