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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Upset. New at work and not invited to Xmas party

50 replies

Badbadtromance · 01/12/2016 11:08

Been here 3 weeks and work Xmas do at posh hotel. Ticket only. Closing date was Monday but no one told me. Really upset. At work now but feel sad

OP posts:

pregnantat50 · 01/12/2016 14:30

I think that's awful OP but I am sure it wasn't intentional, try and get your name added. Hotels I am sure can accommodate one more

I was surprised today to be offered a job starting in January but they have invited me to their Christmas party to get to know me before I start. Never had that happen before x

NellysKnickers · 01/12/2016 14:41

Don't feel bed OP, it's them not you. I work with someone who delights in not including me in a variety of things as the person who did the job before me didn't always join in. I've been here 3 1/2 years. I just think she is a dick and if that's what gives her pleasure then so be it It might well be an oversight, is there a friendly face you can ask?

appalachianwalzing · 01/12/2016 14:43

Technically, events like that you have to invite/involve all staff, especially if it's paid for centrally. I remember this was a thing when I worked in an office with a big (cheap) Xmas do for several hundred people then a smaller team lunch we had to pay for because management said they'd be considered discriminatory if they paid and everyone didn't have the opportunity to come.

So: you should be there, drop an email to your boss, if they can't help, email HR and ask if they know if new starters are able to join and I'm sure they'll sort something out.

grannytomine · 01/12/2016 14:45

I started a new job and had to send out the invites to Christmas do. I was given a list of names and of course I wasn't on it. Big boss arrived in the office the following Monday and said he was very annoyed that I couldn't be bothered to attend. I explained that I didn't get an invite an of course he demanded to know who sent out the invites...............

RichardBucket · 01/12/2016 14:48

grannytomine

Recently at work I booked a table for a lunch, got there and was irritated that the table was once place short. I then realised I hadn't included myself in my calculations...

Colby43443 · 01/12/2016 14:50

I personally would have refused to pay had I not been invited to the free do.

grannytomine · 01/12/2016 14:51

RichardBucket, we are both obviously not ego maniacs.

whoopsiedaisy123 · 01/12/2016 15:13

Ginandtonic I experienced the same! I had been temping at a place for several months and the Christmas party started with finishing early followed by drinks and a quiz in the office ...I was one of three temps and wasn't allowed to join in, we had to carry on working whilst everyone else was gathered over the other side of the office enjoying themselves!

weeblueberry · 01/12/2016 15:13

Could it be that the fancy do was paid for months ago and they can't add anyone now?

clutching at straws

weeblueberry · 01/12/2016 15:17

Ugh wait I just reread your OP and saw the closing date was Monday... :(

user1480182169 · 01/12/2016 15:25

I personally would have refused to pay had I not been invited to the free do

Very sensible, refuse to go to one Xmas party because no-one had personally invited you to the other. That is definitely the way to make friends in a new job.

Footinmouthasusual · 01/12/2016 15:34

daisy how horrible and petty.

Op ask just ask sure they have just forgotten.

PaniWahine · 01/12/2016 16:07

I'll make you feel better. I had a year contract with a global tech company in an admin function. I got to help organise the Christmas party - almost two thousand people, gadget gifts, gift vouchers, free booze, food the works. Naive me got excited and ordered my outfit, told DO to clear his calendar, til one of the other contractors enlightened me - contractors don't attend. All admin staff were hired through an agency, some for years - the global tech company didn't consider administrators 'assets' and refused to hire them directly. The only exception was two EAs for the vice-president. I got to spend my Friday night and Saturday finishing off gift bags, and they refused to pay me overtime as the final insult.

whoopsiedaisy123 · 01/12/2016 16:36

Pen That's awful!

whoopsiedaisy123 · 01/12/2016 16:37

sorry Pan typo :)

Yura · 01/12/2016 17:16

annoying, but fairly normal in big companies. invites go out in october, so all places are gone. ask to get on the waiting list.
the office do is smaller and locally organised, so you were asked. nothing to do with money or you, just planning timelines and external/internal location and restrictions!

KermitTheFudd · 01/12/2016 17:22

I am in a temp role (have been there almost 4 months), and we have been told that we are not invited to attend the works Xmas meal. Only those on permanent contracts can go.

I could understand if it was a huge workforce, but its not. There are 20 staff and temp staff make up more than half of that, plus we have all been here since the summer.

Bollocks to them. We will arrange our own night out.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 01/12/2016 18:19

Years ago, I worked as a temp for a publishing company and although I had been there for several months and my contract was open-ended

Years ago I worked in a law firm - we had some secretaries who were temps via an agency. They were not invited to the Christmas party because our HR lady said they were more likely to be considered to be employees of the firm and they wanted to avoid that. A couple of us tried to get them invited and the HR lady got so cross with us over it!

whoopsiedaisy123 · 02/12/2016 15:11

Just find out I haven't been invited to company christmas do because I'm on maternity leave!!! Out of sight out of mind! Bah humbug to their tightness! :)

Cornettoninja · 02/12/2016 15:34

If you actually want to go, do go have a quiet word with someone senior/in hr. There's always drop outs so I'd be surprised if there really was no way to fit you in.

In solidarity I haven't been invited to either my department or wider organisations parties. Got moved from my old department and job role after returning from maternity in September (only took paid statutory) and my new 'team' completely ignored my presence whilst merrily making arrangements.

I was/am upset. I wouldn't have gone anyway but it would have been nice and frankly welcoming to have been asked. Oh and I have to listen to the woman next to me shedding proper tears whenever she feels ostracised. Proper playground stuff

Fuck the nasty birches anyway, there's a load of restructuring going on that they're all filling their tena ladies over whilst I'm quite looking forward to it funnily enough

JungleInTheRumble · 02/12/2016 15:45

Some work places are just rude. I was seconded to a different office for six weeks to help out with a big job. One Friday afternoon everyone just got up and left with no explanation - turned out it was their office away day that afternoon. I wouldn't have wanted to go with them anyway because they were really rude and unfriendly but it sucks to feel excluded like that. Especially if you work there full time

MiracletoCome · 02/12/2016 17:11

Our Christmas do, which I am not going too was organised ages ago because there are a lot of people, it is now full, so there is only space if someone drops out at the last minute.

GloGirl · 02/12/2016 17:31

Soo sad reading these stories! What miserable fuckers.

BackforGood · 02/12/2016 17:39

well, I think your expectations might be a bit high if you've only been there a couple of weeks - most Christma 'do's are arranged weeks ago. I just expect it didn't cross anyone's mind.

Now, if you don't get invited next year........

Pardalis · 02/12/2016 17:56

That is pretty miserable. I'm lucky to work for a firm that is much more generous. Apart from those who are temping for a few days, everyone is invited. And it's a good event

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