AIBU to feel a bit pah & a bit miffed.

[bellamena]

Change of name as this may out me with my normal username.......it may out me anyway.
AIBU to feel a bit pah & a bit miffed.
I've been on a Charity board for over a decade, due to lack of members I've ended up staying longer than I thought - stayed even though I moved out of district years ago & have no real connection anymore at all. Over the years I've taken holiday to cover stuff, given up evenings, weekends / all of it because I wanted to & in later years because I didn't want to let people down. Finally we got new members and one was a sure fire replacement as Chair, I've been handing over stuff over the last 2 years and resigned to the Board a while back. My replacement is fantastic & will really help to drive the Charity forward. Formal meeting tonight & I did my formal step down. AIBU to have expected a verbal thank you, over the last decade many have come & gone - and every last one has been thanked for their contribution (contribution levels from turning up to a couple of meetings) normally flowers or a card as well as a verbal thank you. Mine was more of an up yours you are going, no thank you, nothing. I'm not cross or outraged, just disappointed - did they not really think I was going? Or have I just wasted the last decade & everything I thought I was doing that was worthwhile was just a pile of croc & no one really cared. Definitely feeling pah.

Not wasted because ultimately you were giving that time to help the beneficiaries of the charity not the board. You will have made a huge difference.

But it was rude and ungrateful not to thank you and I'm not surprised you're feeling hurt.

YANBU! After a decade of service that's the very least they could have done!

💐🍷thank you. I spent years working for charities, without a board it's gone. YANabU it sounds like you've been holiding it together.

That's really dreadful Bella. I've been in a similar-ish situation myself and it really hurt.

I supported an organisation for years (from when I was a teenager) and walked out on my last day without anyone even saying goodbye.

It was a good lesson for me though, to make sure that I never do that to anyone else.

It reflects badly on them not on you.

Ack, how rotten for you. Bet you feel very hurt after 10 years of contributing and then to not even get a nice goodbye/ gesture of flowers/card to recognise your work.

I don't understand why they've overlooked doing it on this occasion tbh. Very disappointing.

From what you've written you have made a significant contribution over the years, and that is something to feel really good about, especially when towards the end it sounds like more duty rather than motivation that kept you doing it.

You've done good.

Wow, you gave ten years of your time, expertise and efforts to a charity - I'm awed.

They're a bunch of wankers to not have acknowledged that.

Yanbu

YANBU at all. Ungrateful bunch of fuckers

Have some , and and even a because you deserve it. x

Are they really pissed you're going?

rude and thoughtless

Were you involved in organising the thank you gifts/speeches previously? I often find in groups one person takes the lead & everyone else presumes someone else will do it.

As others have said well done & I'm sure the beneficiaries would be grateful

Sometimes the 'new team' are overwhelmed with their responsibilities and just forget. The new chair will be finding it harder than you did to remember everything the first time, not sure whose job it is etc. But yes, it sucks. Maybe they think you will still,visit and they can thank you then.

Committees are crap like that especially as you would have done something special if someone had left. I was the Chair of our local colts football teams for a number of years and did a lot to bring the club on in way of grants, funding, publicity etc and when I stood down nothing. (Although we had bought a gift for the previous Chair) However, child still plays for one of the teams and I have seen subsequent Chairs come and go after only 1 or 2 years of service and seen them be presented with flowers etc at the Presentation Evening.

Luckily one parent on my son's team had noticed I hadn't been acknowledged in anyway and at every subsequent presentation when they say thanks to the outgoing chair for their hard work she always says under her breath (but slightly audible) and thanks again to AlltheBest for all her hard work too. It makes me feel better.

So Op thanks for all your hard work and time you have given to support that charity. Here are some flowers for you

Thank you, And To those who have also had this happen (bloody awful it happens at all), I thank you back for your contributions to volunteering, to the committee members that often do all the boring stuff I commend you all

I've been emailed today asking for approvals for funding for X,y,z and had a text saying they need to drop paperwork off for my approval.... Wtf I stood up at an AGM and publicly resigned - I submitted a formal resignation letter 3 months prior, I've been handing over for 2 years.... I gave more than enough notice....on one hand I'm feeling ok they didn't think I was actually going to go - which is why they didn't say thank you, but on the other hand ... How the hell do I get them to realise I'm gone! Without being rude or dismissive????

Reply to the email and say something like: "Thank you for your email, however I think you may have sent it to me by mistake as I am sure you will remember that I resigned on xxdate and am no longer involved with the charity. Kind regards, bella (former chair)".

I agree with Yama keep it polite but formal.

Otherwise you'll never get away.

Perhaps a card will turn up eventually.

Yes, what Yama said.
Although I'd be tempted to also forward it on to the new Chair to say "they don't seem to have worked out that you're in charge yet, you might want to point it out to them..."

The happenings as described in your recent post, plus their complete ignoring of your leaving at last meeting, does make you wonder if they've actually realised you have actually left?! It would explain both scenarios.

Of course I'm not suggesting that you still do any work for them etc but seems like they need reminding. I wouldn't worry about it being 'rude and dismissive' either. The mistake is very much on their part - and you need to tell them they've made it!