To me sad that I wasn't Invited

[Whitegrenache]

Bloody Facebook again....
Only a few weeks ago I said to friend that we should organise a night out with 3 other mates (allegedly) which we do every few months...
Then tonight low and behold there they all are posting what a wonderful time they are having on a night out....
Why do I want to cry?
Am I a pathetic sensitive person who needs a grip?

That is quite mean of them.
Don't say anything though just try to let it go and see if they contact you. If they don't you'll know they weren't good friends.

Clearly not as good friends with you as you thought. Reduce contact.

YANBU, I would be gutted too :(

Sorry you've been excluded, have a and with me instead ! They sound horrid !

They're mean to leave you out.

They're horrid. You deserve better.

Guaranteed, there's someone out there also looking for a genuinely nice friend. I hope you find them!

I emailed one of them and she said it was organised through another friend who does not know me...Not meaning to drip feed but it was a late birthday celebration with a few others invited too. Not just the 3 mates. Iyswim?
I'm well and truly sick of friends treating me like this. Honest I can't be arsed with mates like this. I constantly put myself out and offer help to
People but it's thrown back in my face.
These friends know I suffer from anxiety and worry about this sort of thing too...
God it sounds even worse as I read what I am writing down.
Maybe I over emphasise the friendship and that's my problem I need to get over?

They sound odd. My 6 yo knows you don't leave you don't leave your friends out/act in a way that will make them sad. I'might guessing their alot older then 6 so makes you wonder how they missed the memo.
Fuckwits.

Is it possible they each thought another of the group had invited you? It honestly may not be intentional.
Just send the one you feel closest to/most comfortable with a text, and ask if there is a reason you weren't invited.
I've found from personal experience that being polite but direct, by asking and potentially getting an answer you don't want to hear, is much better than ruminating on it and doubting your own self worth going over and over in your mind if there's something wrong with you and is it somehow your fault.

Nah no chance of any confusion

Ah, if the main organiser knows each of them but not you, that would explain it, especially if it is celebrating someones birthday. The organiser hasn't singled you out, and your friends probably thought it would be rude to invite along someone else when they weren't the one planning it. Bit upsetting still if you know the person whose birthday they are out celebrating, but its not as personal as it could have been.

Thanks Missvictoria that makes me feel a bit better

So it was a birthday celebration for lots of people organised by someone you don't know but your fiends happened to be there? Honestly, this doesn't sound deliberate to me at all, more an unfortunate coincidence.

I've recently experienced a similar thing.

I have 2 friends I've known since school. They went to a spa on Sunday night, and the first I knew of it was when one of them posted a dressing gown and prosecco selfie on fb!!! They said it was a very cheap last minute deal and as I can't take any Monday's off work, it wasn't worth asking me!!!

To make things worse - one of the school friends is now my sil as I married her brother!!! So my mil also knew (as she looked after sil DC) and said nothing!

I can't be arsed with it all either, we're not 12 anymore!! I wish we could go our seperate ways but I'm a bit stuck with her!

I agree you should distance yourself from them if you can!

In those circumstances, I don't think it was bad TBH. Like MissVictoria said.

One of DC woke up whilst I was writing my reply, so I missed the later posts.

So i do think missvictoria has hit the nail on the head.
however, although it wasn't intentional to exclude you, I would still be feeling dissapointed.

It doesnt sound intentional and actually it would have been weird to have invite a you. I understand you feel sad about it though. People can be shits.

Thankfully I am not on facebook.
I am quite happy with my life but if I kept reading about others having fun with their friends when I wasn't included I would start to feel pretty sorry for myself.

TBH I can't really see what you're upset about. Your friends have other friends - they're allowed to socialise with them from time to time without you.

I am afraid you are a bit BU. You are an adult, you should understand that you cannot be invited to everything. Your friends gathering had probably nothing to do with your suggestion to meet. Yes, they are posting on FB, so what. Are they supposed to behave like teenagers, and keep things secrets, act sneakily behind your back? It's silly. Unless we are talking about your partner/ husband/parents, grown ups can meet without always including you and telling you about it.

If you are that upset about it, you can either ignore them until they contact you, or you can comment "Hey, you forgot about me! , hope you had a great time" something like that. Sulking in silence is not helpful, you are being miserable whilst the others carry on with their lives blissfully unaware.

This doesn't sound malicious to me.

You can't invite everyone to everything every time, even if you're usually in a group. A birthday party is a good example (I'd find it a bit odd of all my friends invited all their friends on my birthday night out), but I think it's also fine to invite smaller groups to some things - just two couples for a dinner party, just one friend for coffee, the people you haven't seen recently out to the pub, etc. It just makes things more manageable, easier to organise and can give you chance to talk about/do things that you can't when the whole group is there.

Well if it was organised by someone who doesn't know you...

Do you get left out usually if it's organised by an actual friend?

I mean a group of friends does sometimes get split down.

I'm not sure why you are upset, when it was organized by someone who doesn't know you and seems to be last minute. Also it's not as if the 4 friends ganged up against you and left you out.

Thanks all. I have a better perspective on it all now!
For what it's worth I was never going to sulk! I'll get over it I'm sure.
This stems from my lack of confidence and self esteem and I automatically presume the worst!
It's Not their fault though is it I feel this way.