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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wedding invite plus one?

16 replies

Lala105 · 30/11/2016 20:15

My cousin is getting married next year. Invitations were posted last week and my sister and brother got their invitations yesterday for them and their partners. We organised 3 hotel rooms a double for sister and partner, a double for brother and his wife and a twin for me and my 16 year old son - I have been divorced for 10 years. I got my invitation today and it's just for me and not for DS. AIBU to have assumed that the invite will be for 2? I'm actually quite upset because had I been with a partner I know he would have been invited. I really don't want to be the Bridget Jones among a group of "smug marrieds" - I just cried because I feel like a second class citizen because I'm single. 😓

OP posts:

EllaHen · 30/11/2016 20:18

Yes, I would say YANBU. Your ds is part of the family and is presumably old enough to feel left out. Not nice.

EllaHen · 30/11/2016 20:18

I've just seen ds is 16. Of course he should be invited.

OohhThatsMe · 30/11/2016 20:19

And who the hell wants to go to a wedding on their own? You're being completely reasonable.

Crispbutty · 30/11/2016 20:19

You are overthinking it. They probably thought a 16yo boy wouldn't want to go to a wedding.

If he does then just ring your cousin and ask if it's ok to take him as your plus one. It's also quite a while off too so you could have met someone by then.

You also don't know if there will be other single people there either. Lots of couples meet at weddings.

BackforGood · 30/11/2016 20:27

Yes YABU.
Your cousin has invited her cousins.
Not her 'cousins once removed'. that's another step away, and presumably would then have to include quite a few other 'cousin's once removed'

You won't be alone - you are with all your family - siblings, sibling in laws, cousins and presumably Aunts, Uncles, possibly parents.

Anyone "presuming" any invitation is going to include additional people is unreasonable too.

happypoobum · 30/11/2016 20:29

Sorry but YABU. I wouldn't expect DS to be invited to a wedding as my plus one, it would feel rather odd tbh.

I am sorry you feel down about being single - but really why do you think this makes you a second class citizen? Do you think that about other single women you meet

HunterHearstHelmsley · 30/11/2016 20:30

YANBU. It's weird to invite people on their own to a wedding.

DailyMailJournosSmell · 30/11/2016 20:37

YABU although I understand why you would prefer it if your DS could come too. I think just inviting cousins and not cousins DC seems reasonable enough.

Does you son know your cousin? I guess if he was close to them then it would come as more of a surprise than if he didn't. Perhaps they thought he wouldn't be interested in going?

I also think you are also a bit U for worrying about going on you own. You will be with your siblings and, presumably other family members.

Original poster

Lala105 · 30/11/2016 20:38

Crispbutty. He's always been invited before to family events and even if he wasn't specifically named, surely "plus partner" would have been fairer than assuming that just inviting me on my own would be ok.

OP posts:

SockQueen · 30/11/2016 20:39

Are any other cousins' children invited? I would guess that your cousin is not "punishing" you for being single, but wanting to be fair on everyone by only inviting a certain degree of relation - in this case cousins but not cousins' children. You won't be "on your own" as the rest of your family will be there.

BackforGood · 30/11/2016 20:41

It's weird to invite people on their own to a wedding

But OP isn't on her own. It's a family wedding.

Milzilla · 30/11/2016 20:42

I would ring and ask if he can be your plus one?

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2016 20:45

It is fine to invite single family members to a family wedding without a plus one. It's not as though the OP won't know anyone there. If you start adding plus ones to all single people that'd add a whole lot more people to the wedding.

razmataz · 30/11/2016 20:53

Umm, YABVU. Why would you assume you get a plus one? You are single, you don't have a partner. Also it's a family wedding, you'll presumably know lots of people there, so why would you need a plus one anyway?

Inviting your son wouldn't make you any less of a 'Bridget Jones'....

Trifleorbust · 30/11/2016 20:55

If children of cousins are not invited and plus ones generally not invited, then YABU.

crazywriter · 30/11/2016 21:02

YABU to assume and expect your son would be included. Your cousin has made a decision and there are plenty of other family members so you won't be alone. And it's not odd to invite single people alone. Weddings cost a fortune and for all single people to have plus ones would be an added expense of people the bride and groom may not even know! I've been to plenty of weddings either alone myself or where there are plenty of singles without plus ones.

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