Stressed

[Happyoutlook]

Ok so male here, fully expecting to be shot dow hard.

I work FT, my pay covers the bills, food fuel but nothing else. I do all cleaning, household finances and administration. I do some of the cooking but DW does most.

DW worked part time until recently, her pay was for savings and extras. She lost her job so we have gone from living well to living.

She decided to start her own business, 4 months is she has spent £2000 (most) of our savings and has made £300 in sales. She sleeps in until 9:30 each day, and tells me she can't get motivated during the day so watched TV. I am then guilt tripped into working for her for 2-3 hours each evening to catch her up to where she needs to be.

I am trying hard to be supportive, and I know if I say anything It will start a argument which I will loose.

I just got yelled at via txt because the joint account card was declined while she was shopping for supplies. I told her the account was empty because my pay covers bills only and we just paid all the bills..... apparently I need to budget better.

Should I suck it up and accept that this it part and parcel of being supportive of her venture

Nope...it was wrong of her to shout at you. There's being supportive and there's doing too much. If she needs help she's can hire a volunteer or learn about what she needs to do online.

However every business is a gamble and it may take off or it won't, so be prepared for both outcomes and she should know this too £2k spent on a £300 return doesn't look good at the minute

No, of course not. You need to sit her down and explain what you have explained (very reasonably) here, that your current finances don't support her venture unless she is able to turn a profit, and while you want to support her life fully in doing that, it isn't okay for her to not run her business during the day and then ask you to do it at night.

Are there kids at home or is it just her?

Difficult to say. Is there any chance of her business making decent money in the future?

It's just her at the moment. There is a reasonable potential for the business to make a profit, it wont be the same as her old job though

Do you have children?

Can't she get a PT job during the day then do her hobby business PT?

She could get a PT job but doesn't want to. No kids at home

First of all don't help her at all. Secondly insist she can't spend anything on non-essentials until she either starts making money or gets a job. It sounds like she's lazy and using you. I would be furious if dh did this to me.

Is the money she has spent a one-off start-up cost or does it represent running costs?

Does she have projections in place for income over the first six months, year, five years? Do you think these are realistic?

Is it just her 'at the moment' because she is pregnant, or are you planning a family?

I would cancel her jt card to be honest.

she should be working PT and building her 'business' PT - she's taking the piss - I think the term is 'cuntlodger'

Planning a family so, the idea is that she can work from home with the kids.

I have calculated the business projections, she hasn't done any financial forecasting. I expect her to turn profitable in Feb time

Majority of the expenditure so far has been start up costs.

Hmm. If she isn't getting anything done at home without kids, there is a negligible chance she will get anything done with a baby to look after.

Going to be honest here. It sounds like she is lazy BUT it also sounds like you don't really want her working from home unless she can match her full-time income. Is that fair? Neither position is wholly reasonable if so.

You need to ask yourself how much support you are prepared to give her with this IF she works hard and makes a go of it. If she doesn't, you need to ask yourself how long you are prepared to put up with it.

Also, if you expected her to turn profitable by February, I'm surprised there wasn't a financial plan in place between when she started the business and the point at which you (jointly) anticipated it would be profitable - surely any new business is expected to have a (sometimes lengthy) period of building a client base and marketing the service before a profit is expected?

I don't mind her working from home, I don't mind her earning less either. What stresses me out is the earning nothing and doing nothing.

Hmm, yes I understand the doing less bit! But the earning nothing was surely expected for a time?

Oh and I definitely don't see why you're doing all the cleaning, that definitely doesn't make sense.

I do the cleaning because I amore of a tidy person. In the past We have split the tasks 50/50. She tends to leave it all to the last minute, whereas I can't rest until I know the job is done so I ended up doing it all. That just the way I work