Adult birthdays

[cathf]

AIBU to think that once you are an adult, you should just forget about birthdays (and maybe Christmas too).
Just about every day I visit the MN AIBU board, there is some drama or other about a (usually) husband who has unwittingly upset his wife/partner over his choice of present/card/cake/celebrations?
Would it not be easier if we just forgot about birthday celebrations once we become adults?
It seems a bit childish to be so upset about a day that is the same as any other.
We don't do adult birthdays, and it is amazingly liberating!

No, I think life would be slightly more miserable if my nearest and dearest didn't celebrate my birth. Yabu.

I'm not sure about forgetting them altogether, but I'm not one to make a massive fuss over them.

Well hurray for you but personally I think that sounds very dull. In our family there are very few young children left as they are mostly now in their 20s. I would find Christmas very bleak if I had nobody to give presents to.

I think the fault, if there is one, is with people becoming over dramatic and sensitive about what they have or haven't been given.

For sensible, level headed people it is a nice thing to do and most of the pleasure frankly is in the giving rather than the receiving. IMHO.

I'm also not one to make a fuss. It's not my achievement that I was born, I think it's my mum and dad's.

But some acknowledgment from a DH is the least you can ask

ThroughThick, you have a point when you put it like that!
OK, maybe not forget them completely - we do acknowledge birthdays and say Happy Birthday - but I suppose I meant the big childish birthday celebrations involving 'spoilt rotten' proclamations on Facebook !

Sounds a bit joyless to me. We love a good celebration in our family.

5foot

I also enjoy Christmas for the giving of the presents.

My favourite thing is for people to come and join me in going to the theatre or something. That's a present for me

I more or less agree with you. What I want for my birthday is a meal or day out with DP, which I generally get, and a separate meal out with my mum, sister and niece now she is an adult.

For Christmas I want a token gin/chocolate present from DP, time off work, family gatherings, walks and lots of TV/films with too much chocolate.

Not bothered about presents or cards. I want to choose my own stuff and just buy what I want when I want. I don't want to feel guilty for not liking what other people have picked for me and I don't want the pressure of choosing things for other people, when most of the stuff in the shops is overpriced crap anyway.

It's pretty crap when people make sure their partners have a lovely day on their birthday and it's not reciprocated. Rather than get rid of birthdays, why not just be nice to each other and remember their birthday?

It's not my achievement that I was born, it's my mum....

I agree!

I think if birthdays aren't for you then that's fine but I like birthdays. I enjoy celebrating mine and I enjoy buying for my family.

What irritates me are the thoughtless partners who make no effort but are happy to receive a shed load of presents. It's thoughtless and selfish. What irritates me more though are the people on here who post like this

OP: I'm literally sat here in tears as my DP hasn't got me anything for my birthday, not even a card
MN: oh that's crap, are you going to talk to him about it?
OP: no I'm just going to cry silently and hope he gets the hint for next year.

FFS!

Do we know that these men are actually bothered about loads of presents though? They might not buy their wives much for birthdays and Christmas because they genuinely might not give a stuff and just want to buy their own stuff as and when.

I would find it a bit stifling to have a shed load of crap carefully chosen gifts thrust upon me every Christmas and birthday. I want to choose my own things so I get exactly what I want and not something similar and I see no point in telling people to buy me X from Y shop. Once I have got that far, I might as well just buy it myself as the thinking and choosing has been done.

We don't bother. All is fine.

I quite enjoy being spoilt rotten though, I don't want to give that up!
To be fair I'm easily pleased and don't expect much but I would be miffed to not get a single thing.