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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not be invited to one thing

50 replies

Hobnobhobbit · 30/11/2016 17:20

Partners been too 3 quiz nights claimed they where work things but he then mentioned a list of other people who went including a house mate of someone then a few drinks and now the past two nights he's been out drinking with a friend of his who I'm friendly with and a mutual girl who's a friend of both of there's I've been in town Christmas shopping don't drive so got the bus home but he finished work at the same time I left and didn't even think to ask if I wanted to come for New Years I'm doing a dinner party and he keeps saying he will ask his friends he hasn't and for my best friends birthday in January he's saying he might not come

OP posts:

mickeysminnie · 30/11/2016 18:30

If he is so great why do you keep posting about him?
You are being treated badly by him, so make a choice, dump him and find someone better or decide to put up with it.
If you decide to put up with it stop wasting everyone's time whinging about him.
YOUR decision. Harsh but honest.

BumbleNova · 30/11/2016 18:30

love - he is a nightmare. dump him.

Ginslinger · 30/11/2016 18:33

please give yourself a wonderful christmas gift by dumping this complete arse

humblesims · 30/11/2016 18:33

What does he say if you ask him about these concerns?

ClopySow · 30/11/2016 18:40

Ditch him. 6 months in is still supposed to be lovely. He sounds like a massive tosser.

DearMrDilkington · 30/11/2016 18:41

Is this the guy who said he doesn't like vaginas or am I thinking of someone else?

SENPARENT · 30/11/2016 18:41

He clearly doesn't love you or want to spend time with you. Stop being such a doormat and get rid.

slenderisthenight · 30/11/2016 18:41

I think it depends, OP. I haven't read other threads. My DP likes to go out without me now and again (or he used to before we had children!). I could understand why - it's a different dynamic. Some mates he went out with would bring their partners and it annoyed me but looking back I can see that he was just enjoying a bit of space.

FuckityFucko · 30/11/2016 18:42

He isn't great.
He is lazy.
He wants you to work less so you can do more cooking and cleaning.
He doesn't want you to meet his friends.
He isn't interested in having sex with you.
He doesn't want to socialise with you or your friends.
He is absolutely no help around the house and feels that is correct - see comment about reducing hours.
He is tedious and inconsiderate of your feelings. His work is so hard and stressful boohoo.

He isn't great. He is a fucking lazy sexless arsehole who treats you with contempt. He isn't your rock - he doesn't want you going out with him and his friends!

Why have you got such low self esteem lovey? Do you think it is related to struggling with dyslexia? If someone you loved had this boyfriend, would you think they were lucky or being taken for a ride?

Get rid. And please please look into why you have such terrible self esteem and will let someone treat you this badly. You deserve more💐

SlottedSpoon · 30/11/2016 18:50

Everything else is perfect just this and the sex

Everything else? What else is there for crying out loud? The man clearly just isn't all that into you and he's not afraid to hide it.

Lynnm63 · 30/11/2016 18:52

Six months in you should still be in the honeymoon phase where you can't bear to be separated and make us all long marrieds either smile or want to vomit! He shouldn't be behaving as he is though. You need to dump him and find someone who will treat you well.

Bunnyfuller · 30/11/2016 18:54

I can't advise but please ask Santa for some punctuation for Christmas. Yours seems to have run out.

Bunnyfuller · 30/11/2016 18:56

My bad, didn't read enough :-/. Quietly removes judgey pants.

OohhThatsMe · 30/11/2016 18:58

He's awful, OP! Do you have children or are you sitting at home alone while he's out with all his friends?

Parker231 · 30/11/2016 18:58

Sounds like he is cutting you out of this life - arranging his social life but not including you. What things do you do together? I'm thinking he is seeing someone else.

Original poster

Hobnobhobbit · 30/11/2016 19:07

We spend every evening together and all day Sundays so I get he needs his space just him

OP posts:

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 30/11/2016 19:10

Sorry lovely but if he isn't treating you well now, the supposed honeymoon stage, it's doesn't bode well for his treatment of you in the future.

Parker231 · 30/11/2016 19:11

But he is making his own plans rather than arranging to spend time with you. Do you have your own social network you can spend time with?

DailyMailJournosSmell · 30/11/2016 19:15

OP, I commented on one of your other threads under a different name. I think you need to have a really good think about this relationship and what you want out of life. At 22 you should enjoying life not dealing with lazy selfish boyfriends. It all sounds hard work and a bit depressing.
I'm curious why you moved in so quickly? Do you think your relationship would work better if you just dated rather than lived together? I don't get the rush to race into things.

How old is your boyfriend? He sounds immature?

BTW For someone who has severe dyslexia your spelling is brilliant .

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 30/11/2016 19:35

It's just not worth it. What do you get out of this relationship?

Original poster

Hobnobhobbit · 30/11/2016 19:43

When we weren't living together we didn't have any problems but he has no family all died when he was young mum lives abroad at the moment past month we've been trialling separate rooms a couple of nights a week and it's helping so much I get to watch crappy TVs he gets to work as late as he wants he's gone from living on his own since 18 to living with me in a flat inside my parents house I have very few friends so I do have issues there

OP posts:

FuckityFucko · 30/11/2016 21:05

HOB under a year in you are having to have separate bedrooms for the relationship to work. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY OR NORMAL. If he needs his space he can move out. My DH and I are both introverts and need space. 17 yrs on we still arent in separate bedrooms.

I honestly think the reason he is with you is because you fulfill a role of 'mother'. Cook, clean, bolster his ego. He isn't interested in a sexual relationship. He wants a lady to look after him. Is he older than you? Seriously, I had a bf like this when I was 21. I lived with the cocklodger in MY flat for 4 years. It screwed me up so much. He was very similar to yours but at least we socialised together.

KICK HIM OUT.

Mulberry72 · 30/11/2016 21:16

He's a complete twat and you deserve far better than his horrid treatment of you. Get rid, 6 months is too long to have wasted in this arse!

DailyMailJournosSmell · 01/12/2016 08:24

It sounds like it's time to start trialing separate lives or at least separate flats....

It all sounds hard work and depressing.

We obviously can't tell you what to do although it seems from the information you have given us that almost everyone thinks you should leave him ,however if for whatever reason you don't then please really think carefully before getting pregnant. You don't want to be bringing kids into a relationship like yours. It would be unfair to them.

Original poster

Hobnobhobbit · 01/12/2016 09:16

I can't have kids anyway last night I spoke to him told him everything he didn't realise how I felt apologised for making me feel like this said he did want some time alone after spending every evening together he wants to be able to see his friends with out me some of the time he's got five people coming to New Years and he's promised to make more of an effort will see how that goes as actions speak louder than words

OP posts:

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