To not return to work?

[1wokeuplikethis]

My maternity leave is drawing to a close and it was a case of having to return for 6 months after maternity leave but I have just been given the option of not returning and I am seriously tempted.

Bit of background: hate my job. Was great until I returned from previous mat leave; job had completely changed, they agreed to me going back PT but the workload was far too high. Job title changed. Began doing a lot of finance type stuff which wasn't anything to do with the initial job I took. Lots of redundancies and people leaving. New manager who had no managerial experience. Terrible atmosphere and really ground me down. I couldn't wait to go off on maternity leave the second time. That was from a fun environment where I had lots of friends, enjoyed my job and role, socialised happily outside of work. Total 180.

If I don't go back we will be reliant on my husband's wage, which should level us out anyway as the majority of my salary went on nursery fees for my older child. She starts school in September so I could start a new job then.

I feel afraid because I've never not had a job. And I don't know what I want to do. The job I do currently is a muddle of all sorts and to be completely honest, I don't understand most of the systems or how to do my job basically.

But the feeling of relief to think I don't have to go back is immense.

I could use the time between now and September to possibly do other training courses or gain qualifications in something I do want to do. Problem is, I don't know what that is. Ideally I would love a complete career change and do midwifery, but we couldn't afford for me to do the necessary training.

I'm thinking perhaps I should not return and instead of trying to plan everything I will do between now and September right now, give myself time to get together what I DO want to do, without the stress of having to return to work.

I just feel quite muddled. I hve a lot going on at the moment (breast scan apt next week for a lump I found) and I don't want to give them the wrong answer but they need my decision quite quickly.

Has anyone left their job from maternity leave and had good or bad experiences from it? I could do with some experience to try and make my decision.

Midwifery has a bursary so look into that first
It's cheaper staying at home and they are only little once if you salary pays nursery fees

If you can afford it - don't go back. It sounds like you'll be miserable.

Look into studying midwifery if you really want to do it. I have two friends currently doing it and I know they get some financial help/loans. One is 49 and a grandma.

Best of luck with your scan

Life is too short, don't go back. Use the time to research and study something you'll be happy in.

The midwife course is very competitive.

To be honest I wouldn't go back to a job that I didn't like if it meant all the money went into child care.

No experience to help you but I am in a similar position to you. Loved my job and was excited about going back after mat leave no 1. But then they changed everything, got awful new bosses, all my friends got made redundant or left. I think the only reason I didn't get made redundant was that I got pregnant again and they probably thought it would look bad to get rid of a pregnant woman. I'm due back soon and dreading it.

The difference for me is that we do need my wage, even with the cost of childcare taken out. If I was like you and didn't rely on the money then I'd leave like a shot. I wish I was in your position. Honestly, do it and I think you'll find having no job gives you the impetus to think about what you really want to do. Nobody should get up every day and go to a job they hate. Good luck!