Pictures of ex on fb

[AtSea1979]

Do you have pictures of your ex on fb? If so what is your relationship with them like?

New guy has loads of his ex and it makes me rather uncomfortable to see so many. Some with his DC that makes sense but loads just him and her too. Probably around 40% of his 200 pics have his ex in.
AIBU to think that's maybe a bit excessive and a sign he's not over her? Or maybe he's long since moved on and is so detached he's not bothered about the pics. I casually mentioned it and he just shrugged it off. Maybe I'm more concerned about it because he's fussing about making sure his ex doesn't know he's seeing me incase she's rocks boat with DC.

Why would she threaten his relationship with their children because he's seeing you?

Because thats just what some exes are like

I think it is inevitable with the ease of social media that this will be a more common problem. If I got with someone and they had lots of pics they had uploaded themselves, or albums of romantic trips - I would personally be uncomfortable with that - and probably would raise it with them. Likewise, I would not want to risk my new DP thinking I was not over my ex so I would do the same - actually, I would not want those pics so would get rid of them when the relationship had ended. New relationships are tough enough to navigate already.

Its not about pretending you don't have a past- it is about consciously moving forward though. You don't leave your old physical photo albums of your exes out on the coffee table at home. You put them away.

a few red flags for me

(1) I do think its strange, if I ended a relationship I think its fairly normally to have some degree of completion and that DOES include photos for me.

(2) the comment Why would she threaten his relationship with their children because he's seeing you?, yes
that doesn't sound like a healthy split at all TBH

Tread carefully, if your ex hurt you make sure you don't run into a relationship with another wrong un

I deleted all the photos of my exh - weren't that many as I don't tend to post a lot on FB. All wedding photos were deleted and I untagged myself from pics I had been tagged in. He's someone i would rather forget about so no reason why I would want reminders of him on FB. We don't have kids together though thank fuck if that makes a difference.

I'm another who who never deletes Facebook pictures, there are plenty of photos of a couple of exes on there.
I don't see the point of editing my history.

I delete everything and bin absolutely everything, I don't see the point in keeping anything, yes he's a part of my past and yes I'm having a baby with him however I've enough memories of him and us which make things hard, I don't need to see pictures too!

I think when i got together with my other half, albums of his holiday with his ex (a few years before me) kept popping up into my timeline as "is this a photo of X" queries.

I did ask him to at least make the album private/exclude me (can't remember which he did) so I didn't keep having it in my face. I'd have no issues with him having it but for some reason FB kept showing me photos from it! I don't think they do that sort of thing anymore.

im quite a layed back person , not the jealous type or suspicious but theres no way i'd be happy with my dp having photos of his ex on display

Isn't it funny how people who call themselves laid back and not jealous are often extremely jealous and controlling?

user .......169 how the fuck you come to that conclusion i dont know
i said if my dp had photos of his ex on fb i leave the relationship as i wouldnt be happy or comfortable with it, no hard feelings just good bye and move on.
if i was jealous and controlling i would of stayed in the relationship, through a hissy fit every time he got on the laptop untill i got my own way and he took them down
i lived with a jealous controlling cunt , i'd sooner eat my own head before i treated anyone like that

Agree with Delores, that was a shitty and unjustified thing to say. There was no point User....169.

This is about respect and recognition of others perceptions. It is totally situational of course - but deletion or removal of certain pictures is always going to give a better result than not removing them or leaving it to chance.

He should delete them. It's definitely hurtful to see pictures of your partner cosying up to someone else especially if it was recent or they are still on the scene. Deleting them won't mean it didn't happen, but does shield a new partner from feeling jealous. But that's the whole problem with facebook. It's intended to be about showing off. People can't bear to not have it all on display.

but it's not on display is it? it's just on your facebook so unless you go looking you won't see yes? ive loads of pics of me my ex and our children on my facebook however you have to go back over two years to find them i cba to edit him out of them all he was a part of my life for years and he is still part of our children's life now

you won't find pictures of him up in the house though thats not allowed but facebook meh

He should delete them. It's definitely hurtful to see pictures of your partner cosying up to someone else especially if it was recent or they are still on the scene. Deleting them won't mean it didn't happen, but does shield a new partner from feeling jealous

Don't be daft.

My DP and I both have a couple of pics with our exes on Facebook! It's just part of your life history - unless it's his current profile picture or recently posted I wouldn't be bothered.

I disagree. If you expect your new boyfriend to delete/get rid of every photo featuring exes, you are not laid back and you do tend towards jealousy.

Simple fact.

admittedly i did change my profile pic to one of me and the kids after we split and ive not posted any pictures of him since not even when he sends pictures of him and our kids i think if a new partner of mine trawled through two years worth of posts and got upset by my past i would be rethinking our relationship

I deleted all photos of my ex and untagged myself from as much as I could. It wasn't a very amicable breakup, I got very hurt and I just felt I needed to cut all ties.

He, on the other hand, still had a few photos of me..

All the pics of my first husband are still there, no way would I remove them, plus dh wouldn't expect me too. I sometimes post the time hops too as I've still got a connection with all his family and friends.

I don't think the real issue here is the Facebook photos. The real problem is he wants to keep your relationship secret from his ex. Do you suspect that he hopes to get back together with her op? Has she moved on to a new relationship? Were you the reason they separated?

I have pics of both exes on Facebook. They're part of my past, we're still on friendly terms - why would I delete them?

Though, actually, I've untagged them so that they're still in albums but don't come up when you view all pictures of me.

Just noticed you said it's early days for you both. If it's been two years and they've both moved on then she shouldn't have any complaints about him getting into a new relationship with you. If he's scared to tell her it's probably because he knows that she's still romantically interested in him.