Disciplining my child

[Tiredbutnotyetretired]

Dc is very well behaved at times but starting to really push me to my limits atm.
I posted a thread on here last week about how exhausted i am and im trying my best to be a good mother and bring up my dc to be a decent human being.
I came home at 7pm tonight (which is late for me and dc to stay out, usually settled in pjs by then) i'd been to a gym class which im pushing myself to do partly because i need something just for me and partly because i battle with depression.
I was very tired the class really took the wind out of me so when i picked up dc from mothers i said we were heading straight home which was met with moaning and nearly crying. I feel bad because i know dc enjoys it there (theres a houseful/ big family) and i know boredom sets in when its just the 2 of us.
Anyhow i managed to convince dc we needed to be home so that we werent late for school in the morning. As soon as we got through the door i put tv on lights on heating on making dc has thier needs met first, then i went upstairs sorting out uniforms for both us for tomorrow and dealing with 2 beautiful smashed ornaments in my bedroom, which the cat had clearly broken, so i was upstairs sadly putting the broken pieces in the bin and i could hear water, i shouted why is there water running? Then it stopped.
I went downstairs only to find dc had thrown water all over my kitchen ( playing with cat) and a smashed egg in the sink!! I know dc likes to play with water but i am fed up. Im exhausted and really trying to tie up all loose ends so that we arent late in the morning and i was preparing to go to bed and read some books/ get some cuddles and relax.
I shouted at dc to go to thier room and take thier dirty/soaked clothes and put in washing basket while thier at it, i just kept asking why have you done this go to your room this is rediculous, more mess to clean up yet again. So dc shouted in my face that i was a shit! I'm appalled. I tried to set dc bedroom up, lights on tv on and i just got a mouthful of cheek( im not listening to you/ i dont care etc) then just screaming loudly. I phoned dc dad, i asked him to keep dc for the night, i feel like a failure but im at the end of my tether and now i feel bad i just dont know what to do for the best in these situations, if I'd kept dc here no doubt there would me more cheek and more( over the top) screaming, do u think ive done the right thing sending dc to dads for the night so we can both cool off? Wwud?

Why are you saying DC instead of him/her? You're talking about one child aren't you?

If you were home later than you usually would, I'd have taken her straight upstairs and settled to bed. You can fart around getting clothes ready etc once she was settled.

Your posts seem a little martyrish and self centred...but that is likely the depression and it does come across that you want the best and you are putting a lot into being a good mum.

I would just try to be more aware of when you are beginning to take things personally. When he/she is acting out, it is not to spite you, though in the moment that is exactly what it feels like. There has to be a separation there, between your feelings and your role as a parent.

You say you kept saying more to clean up, this is ridiculous etc...well, DC probably felt attacked by that reaction and retaliated.

I can sympathise...I have battled with depression as a parent. It is really difficult.

Slightly at a tangent but I don't understand why you were sorting uniforms for tomoro etc when you got in?

My priority would be to get 6 year old into bed and then sort other jobs out when he's asleep

The thing is though, i never have late nights, thats the latest i have been out for a long time. I try my best to keep a routine going but the gym was something i wanted to do for me. It was only an hour class, i have my dc most of the time with me, so i am trying to keep everything in order and i work also, but what i think ive realized by reading all these posts is that by running around trying to make sure all the practical things are being met, my poor dc watches on and maybe needs more time with me, not darting from one room to the next.
We are up to bed 7/ 8 most nights, thats our time, we catch up, thats not to say i ignore dc until that point in the evening, i do homework, make cakes, we sit together in the living room and chat away, we put christmas tree/ decorations up together, we go shopping etc, but when im not doing all that i am hoovering, cleaning ironing etc, im so tired all the time as most parents will be.
And fwiw dc does have tv in bedroom but it hardly ever gets switched on because dc never in there much. Im really grateful for the responses thank you x

@neph because it was late ( for us and we were going up to bed) the uniform was ironed i was just piling it all up to take downstairs then i seen the smashed ornament (glass=danger for dc). Dc is only 6 i know this is why i think ive done the wrong thing sending dc to dads house.

Dc probably did feel attacked i realize that now

Do you know where a 6 yr old.is getting language like that from and screaming in your face. Are they in an environment where that is happening or watching inappropriate TV/YouTube or something?

It seems like one of the problems is you go to bed at the same time as DC, so you don't have time to sort stuff out once they are in bed. Tomorrow I would give them lots of attention and space to talk about what happened and explain that it's hard to give them enough attention when you have so much to do, so from now on you will help settle them to sleep and then pop downstairs for an hour or so to sort out uniforms etc before coming up to bed. You could leave the landing light on during this time.

I don't think it was right to send him / her away no. Massive over reaction based on your tiredness and stress. Your child is going to feel even more rejected now. I'm not trying to guilt trip you - it's bloody hard getting anything done when there's a child moaning at you for attention. Your child should not have sworn at you, but you absolutely should not have reacted as you did. I think you should apologise with lots of cuddles tomorrow and remember this is just a child who will play up and you will have to find a way to manage that behaviour without losing control.

He might be just picking up that you're feeling low and reacting in his own way. He sounds sensitive. Like mine

Good quality attention does equal good behaviour usually.

Being in a better emotional place yourself will improve things for you both I'm sure. What can you do for yourself? Meditation?

Thanks for the advice eveyone, and yes, it was the swearing that tipped me over the edge, i have told dc many times about youtube where i have heart bad language dc gets told to turn it off or i take it away, i will have to get some kind of parental lock put on it, i have a relative who can do this.
I have read every single post and some valuable advice on here from a lot of you which i will read again tomorrow at some point. Thanks. i am going to sleep on it x

Thanks cucumber, yes i meditate when i find time, it is helping xx

You allow a 6 year old to watch you tube? And you expect him to regulate what he watches?

It is extremely easy to set safety controls. WTH are you allowing your DC (ffs, this is irritating by the way) to repeatedly be exposed to bad language and god knows what else?

Tired there's a kids YouTube app that you can download and stick a lock on the main YouTube so your son can't access it.

Thanks bringme.