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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop taking packages in for neighbours

93 replies

ElleMcElle · 29/11/2016 13:45

I work from home, and my day is CONSTANTLY interrupted by delivery guys with packages for the neighbours - sometimes people who live many doors away! It seems petty to refuse to take them in - particularly once my day has already been interrupted and I'm standing there with the door open - but I'm starting to feel like a bloody sorting office! And for each package I take in, that's another interruption later in the day when the neighbour picks it up. (Assuming they remember to - sometimes I have to take it round myself to get it out of my house).

The situation is getting worse in the run up to Christmas, and our new neighbours are particularly bad offenders: having recently moved in, they're having more than one package delivered every single day!

I don't want to stop answering the door completely, as it might be something for me! And I don't want to get on the wrong side of the neighbours - I'm sure there'll come a time when I'm out and one of my packages comes to them. But I feel like Santa at the moment, with all these boxes in my front room! And every time it happens, it interrupts my train of thought.

Any ideas?!

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 29/11/2016 14:27

I do think it's a bit inconsiderate of the neighbours, to be honest

Not really. They are probably happy to go and get the parcel from the sorting office / depot.

Backingvocals · 29/11/2016 14:28

I think it's fine to say no you won't take the parcel - to the delivery driver. The neighbours won't be offended as they won't know (and anyway have no right to assume you will). They'll just get a card saying "we tried to deliver but you were out."

I do this. I will take parcels for my neighbour that I know but not for the neighbour I've never met who is now entering their 20th month of basement excavation works...

Heychickadee · 29/11/2016 14:30

When I work nights I don't take in parcels as I'll be out when the neighbours get home and it will be ages before they get their stuff. The delivery guys don't seem to mind, but I think they just try other neighbours houses.

Original poster
ElleMcElle · 29/11/2016 14:31

I answer the door so that I don't miss my own post (if too big to get through letter box or work documents that require a signature) or otherwise damage the running of my own life!

Today, for example, the Sky engineer came to fix our phone and broadband. We had been told that they would not need access to our property, so I was not expecting a knock at the door from them. It turned out, however, that they did need to come in to fix the problem - if I had not answered my door, I would still be without phone and internet access.

It is an issue because every time it happens, I have to get the dog out of the hall etc and it interrupts my train of thought. It's not a very "pick it up, put it down" kind of job - it's more of an "immerse yourself in this and find a way through it" kind of job - so each DING DONG can end up costing me significant time as I get my brain back to where it was before I got up to marshal the dog and deal with the delivery.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 29/11/2016 14:32

I get the same problem, I seem to be the only one on our road home during no the day so often have knocks at the door to take parcels.

jellyrolly · 29/11/2016 14:32

I'm also an unofficial depot but it doesn't really bother me, I can see how it would though. With me, it's not the recipients saying leave it with jellyrolly, it's the couriers and postmen who just ask. And it won't occur to people that they aren't the only one doing it, people are like that. I understand you not wanting to annoy your neighbours - even though you have a good point. Maybe you could put ask when they collect that they only request leave with a neighbour if it's urgent as it's interrupting your work? Most people would take the hint then.

PterodactylToenails · 29/11/2016 14:34

I always say no now because I was fed up with answering the door and then having to go and delivery the parcels because no one would ever come to collect them. I was also fed up with the clutter in my hall. I just say no now and hardly get anyone knock. I like my neighbours but I couldn't care less if they feel disgruntled about the fact that I didn't take in their parcel, I doubt they would even know that I had refused. I always have a note on my orders to NOT leave with neighbours.

MrsJayy · 29/11/2016 14:35

It's fine to refuse especially for neighbours 5doors down just say oh I don't know mr5doorsdown and close your door that is what I do I was getting door knocked a million times a day last Christmas I just take in either side neighbours I don't mind that

TheWayYouLookTonight · 29/11/2016 14:37

I do think it's a bit inconsiderate of the neighbours, to be honest

Not necessarily - don't assume your neighbours are relying on you to take their parcels in.

As someone who works full time, whenever possible, I nominate a safe place for deliveries - only to find that the delivery driver has ignored it and gone straight round to my neighbour! I would actually really like him to not take my parcels off the drivers (particularly as it does seem to annoy him), but if I said that to him it would make me sound ungrateful for all the parcels he has already taken in!

I've also come unstuck when I've ordered something that says it will arrive on Saturday, only for it to turn up on Friday instead while I'm a work. Online retailers could try shipping when they say they will...

Goodvibesonly · 29/11/2016 14:37

I've been fuming about the same thing this morning! I am on mat leave and the postie has twigged that I am now home most of the time. On some days I can sign for up to 4 parcels!

Anyway, postie popped by this morning with two packages and said that they were for the next door neighbour. I signed for them and, later this morning, handed them over to the lady next door when she came for them. 10 minutes later, the door goes again and next door neighbour is back with one parcel. Turns out that one of the parcels is not for her, it's for the lady that is next door to her.

The trouble is, next door neighbour went home and opened the package and only then realised that it wasn't for her! She handed me back the opened package and said that I better keep hold of it because "you signed for it"!! I am so mad that I now have to explain the opened package when the lady two doors down comes to collect her parcel!

Obviously I'm also mad at the postie for saying that both belonged to the next door neighbour (referred to them by their door number so I knew which neighbour he meant) so I had no reason to check the label.

I certainly won't be accepting any parcels from now on. If they are not for me then I'll just be saying that that I'm going out shortly and won't be returning till late so can't hold any parcels.

previously1474907171 · 29/11/2016 14:39

We kept the recycling boxes when the system was changed to bins and have one of the old ones by the door. Postman and Hermes man know to put stuff in there so I have to remember to check it as they don't always ring the bell. Could you put something similar by your door? If it looks like a recycling box it is not likely anyone would bother to go through it and a lot of parcels are tracked so you would get an e.mail when yours were on the way.

UnderThePeachTrees · 29/11/2016 14:41

Are you my neighbor Blush

I've ordered loads online this month.

I work during the week and we're not allowed to have deliveries sent to our work address. I don't think people who work during the week should only arrange weekend deliveries and I certainly don't.

I'm quite happy to collect my parcels from the sorting office in the evening when I'm free and I'd never expect my neighbors to take my parcels in and have never asked them to, but the last three parcels I've had have been left with neighbors (even when I've left a note on my order not to do this).

I think my neighbor is a getting a bit pissed off and I can understand but it's often the delivery driver's decision, to save them coming out again rather than your neighbors expecting it.

MackerelOfFact · 29/11/2016 14:42

I totally get why this is annoying. I don't think it's the neighbours' fault really, for all you know they had planned to collect it from the sorting office or get it redelivered.

I hate it when parcels are delivered to my neighbours; best case scenario is that you've disturbed your honest neighbours, worst case scenario is that you never even get the parcel off a dishonest one!

MrsJayy · 29/11/2016 14:43

My old neighbour had a Next shopping habit every day a parcel would arrive I had 6 boxes in my hall because they didn't come for them and I wasn't carrying them down the street that Is when I stopped taking them in

Original poster
ElleMcElle · 29/11/2016 14:46

TheWayYouLook - You're right, they're probably not expecting it... It's just once I've been asked (and interrupted!), it felt churlish to say no.

Goodvibes - That's really annoying - although I'm sure neighbour will understand when you explain.

Previously - That's a good idea, and if we were somewhere more rural or suburban, I'd do it. But we're in London zone 2 with a fair bit of footfall on the street - I don't think it would be secure.

Anyway - glad I'm not alone in this. It's not a case of neighbourliness - whoever said that - I'm perfectly happy to help out my neighbours when they need it and have done. That's not the same as having your working day interrupted multiple times a day every single day.

OP posts:
MadisonMontgomery · 29/11/2016 14:48

Personally I wish my neighbours didn't take in parcels - I know they're being kind but I always specify a safe place to leave, but I think once the delivery drivers know a neighbour will take them that's it then. Just refuse in future!

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 29/11/2016 14:50

I am in the same situation!
I feel bad for the delivery guy so usually end up saying ok I'll take it.
I just found out today that my NDN has now instructed them to deliver her parcels at my house (she works all day). Not sure I am happy with this...

gillybeanz · 29/11/2016 14:50

Put a note on your door saying only deliveries accepted for this address.
My dh has to do this during the day when at home, otherwise we have not only our street but the next that is a continuation of our street.
You are right, you are not a sorting office.

What I don't understand is why people don't organise their own deliveries?
I think it's extremely entitled to presume others will take your deliveries.

FrogletinaBallerina · 29/11/2016 14:50

I WFH and am happy to take small parcels in for my nearest neighbours.

Yodel delivery man had a huff at me as I wouldn't take in a large box of flat packed furniture for someone who lived ten doors away. It would have taken up my whole entrance hall!

Original poster
ElleMcElle · 29/11/2016 14:54

I think the drivers get to know who's home and happy to take in parcels, and I'm now on the list for the whole area!

OP posts:
cuphat · 29/11/2016 14:56

I have the same issue as I'm a sahm. I'm happy to take in the occasional parcel - as long as the neighbours come around to collect them.

There is one particular house about five doors down that never came to collect so I won't take parcels in for them any more. We have quite a small house with nowhere to store parcels, a 3 year old and a 1 year old and my husband works away a lot so I wasn't able to take large parcels around to them and they'd be in our way until my husband was back.

A few weeks back a courier knocked and asked if I'd take in a "heavy washing machine sized parcel"! He was quite stressed as it was at the back of his lorry however I had to refuse as we really don't have anywhere to store a parcel that size! He didn't want to take no for an answer and I had to basically show him that there was no room for it in our house before he'd accept it.

ephemeralfairy · 29/11/2016 14:58

I get this too. It does irk me somewhat. However our neighbours are lovely and gave us wine, choices and flowers last xmas to say thank you.

I will never for the life of me understand though why they don't get parcels delivered via click and collect to the 24 hour shop which is right next door!!

Angelitron · 29/11/2016 14:59

Ha but today parcel force pulled out, I popped my head out to ask if it was mine.
no he said number three. But you'll have to take it.

So I said oh no, she's not very nice.

Two minuets later he's knocking saying he can't just leave it outside (. Massive fucking parcel) I begrudgingly accepted it but it will be the last time.

mrsmortis · 29/11/2016 15:01

Have you got room for one of these: www.hippo-box.co.uk/

Then you don't need to answer the door for your own deliveries and can ignore the door if it rings.

SortingOffice · 29/11/2016 15:04

Same here. I really don't mind for most of the neighbours but there is one who lives opposite and has deliveries daily and never answers the door when I know he is in bed.