Mum and dad, both 88. Mum ill since I was a child. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Wheelchair user for last 30 years, housebound, and paralysed following a further virus. Lived in one room for the last 15 years ( in a reasonably sized house). Never been out since then, cannot feed, toilet or drink without major assistance. More recently has become blind and suffers from moderate dementia.
Great social care package. Worked until last year. She became v ill last Xmas. GPs amazing since then. Not on their radar before because of her no treatment attitude. Since then every time I see the GP he expresses his concern about dad providing significant care, given his age and frailty.
I respected their wishes but have recently taken early retirement ( their situation was a huge factor in my decision, but not the only one).
Told my DB I feel situation is now really dodgy as dad has become confused and ridiculously frail (8st) . Don't believe he has dementia but is exhausted. He wants mum to be happy but is willing to listen to us about logistics.
DB visited them yesterday for two hours, he usually visits about twice a year for this amount of time but, this year, due to circs has been up four times. Lives 90 mins journey from them, I live 30 mins away.always visited 2x per week, now daily. DB Has now sent an email telling me I am over reacting and we should not review situation in new year as I had suggested.
I really want to scream! We both left home for Uni but I came back to the area, he stayed further away, both done well in life. However he thinks that he knows best. 1. He doesn't 2. He won't visit again for two months ( he has already said he is too busy) so I pick up the pieces.
However as my bro is saying what dad wishes to do, he will listen to him not me. I feel so alone. AIBU to think this is unsustainable?