Re disorganised friend

[honeyroar]

I'm organising a surprise trip away for a friend's special birthday next Spring. A dozen of us are going. I've told everyone, a few times, that I need the money by tonight as I need to book it tomorrow. Everyone had paid except one friend. I reminded her on Saturday, she said she would PayPal me the money. On Sunday I asked her had she sent it as nothing has arrived (purely to give her a nudge!) I haven't had a reply.

AIBU to not remind her again and book it tomorrow morning, leaving her out? She has history for always being late, both physically and in paying for things she owes. It's not malicious, she's just bloody disorganised and she's left me scrabbling to pay for her for little things in the past, swanning up a few days later with the money ad though nothing had happened (even when I've grumbled at her previously for it).

Part of me feels a bit nasty, the other part is fed up of having to waste my time chivvying her all the time, when everyone else has paid ages ago.

Call her now and make her transfer it online while she's on the phone?

Personally I'd send a message now saying that you're booking this tomorrow and if you don't have the money this evening she won't be included in the booking. I know it's a pain chasing people for money but at least then you can say you did everything you could.

I just sent a final reminder.

Do not pay on her behalf! Detest flakes. They never organise anything themselves either so don't get how bloody annoying it is. If someone is kind enough to organise something for you you do all you can to make things as easy for them as possible.

Don't pay on her behalf, just remind her again and if she doesn't make it she doesn't make it. Is it possible that she can't afford it so is ignoring the fact hoping it will go away?

I definitely won't be paying on her behalf, don't worry. She's a nice girl underneath, just drives me crazy being so flaky. And she knows she drives people mad, but still doesn't change!

I don't think so Angryginger, and even if it were I'd rather her say. One of the other girls was struggling before payday (I know it's bad timing right before Xmas) and I said she could pay me later if she wanted. It's the total lack of communication that's bugging me, and that the fact she's done it a few times previously...

Don't let it get to you. There's lot of different personality types and you won't change her by getting wound up. Try to accept it - not because she deserves it but because that will be less stressful for you.

If she doesn't pay tonight, make the booking and send her the details so she can make her own arrangements if she decides to come. I have a friend who prefers this because she honestly doesn't like committing to things too far ahead. It's fine.

Your friend sounds a bit of a pain and needs to suck up the consequences of her in actions.

Things like this really bug me! How do these late payers manage if they're booking a holiday for themselves?

It's the reliance on others to chase/offer to pay/organise everything that's the most annoying.

i thnk people take the piss when its friends

she wouldnt do this with a travel agent

is she expecting someone to sub her

Maybe she can't actually afford it right now but is too embarrassed to say?

She paid! Yay!

thanks for the support, all who commented.