WIBU Me or DH?

[RockinHippy]

Lighthearted - ish

Having a debate with DH over "Bucketgate" & he wont have it he is in the wrong, so he has just told me to put our debate on here to see who is nuts BU, so I am

I have a bucket, a nice shiny, like new, clean, bright green bucket, that is my go to bucket if DD or I are ill. Its MY bucket & its not old, manky & smelly & very old like a couple of buckets that DH insists on keeping. DD & I are both smell sensitive (SPD). So prefer a nice clean, non smelly bucket on the odd occasion we are ill. I would also use it for clean things, such as soaking laundry in etc.

Just caught DH using MY shiny green bucket, for cleaning out his shitty fish tank water. He insists that he wont spoil it as he will wash it out properly afterwards. He has measured out water volume marks & written on the side of my shiny happy green bucket, in black indelible marker Marks he admits he wont wash off as he took ages carefully measuring out the water to the correct amount.

So basically he has 2 crappy old buckets, that he could clean out properly & use to clean his shitty fish tank water out with, but no he has "borrowed" my shiny clean bucket instead, with no real intention of putting it back in its original condition as he doesn't want to clean off the black marker pen.

SOOOOOooooooOoOOoooo...

AIBU for not wanting to share my nice, shiny, clean, bucket with DH, so he can clean his shitty fish tank water, when he has crappy buckets all of his own & "Nuts" for telling him off for helping himself??

OR IHBU for commandeering my lovely bucket, without asking with no real intentions of returning it to its original state??

That would give me the rage. I hate stinky fish water and my Dh has a whole separate set of everything he needs for cleaning the fish and then cleaning up after and they are all kept in quarantine in the cellar. Yak. He once used one of my nice new microfibre cloths to clean up after and I had to bin it.

I've just realised SPD means two different things

I don't think I own a bucket - DC always prefer to throw up on my bed I as a grown up always spew in the loo

Buckets are essential for sick children on the top bunk too (trial and error... )

Yeah
This one's sensory processing disorder

He doesn't steal curry off your plate too does he?

Kill him dead.

Can't say I've ever really had any kind of a relationship with a bucket!

I couldn't use a recepticle I'd used to throw up in for anything else after. My plastic mixing bowl being a case in point - I originally bought it for making popcorn - because it was wide enough for the popcorn maker to eject into without throwing it all over the worktop.

Last week I was ill as reaction to my medication. Didn't have time to run to the loo when the need arose so brought the bowl up just in case. Was sick in it at least a couple of times.

Spent the next morning in a&E on a drip, when we got home DP cleaned the bowl and then asked if he could put it in the dishwasher. I said no. Even though I know my illness wasn't a bug the idea of that bowl going back into my kitchen just doesn't sit right with me.

So I've stuck it in the airing cupboard as a just-in-case bowl and will buy another one for the kitchen at some point.

My eXH used to keep fish and had specific buckets for cleaning out the tank because they were not contaminated in any way at all - not even with tap water iirc.

Your DH is being unreasonable. Fish tanks should be changed with their own dedicated bucket as fish are very sensitive to any chemical residue that may have been in there. It is usual to clean the filters etc in part of the syphoned off water so as not to kill the bacteria in them that help keep the tank healthy. Plus I am guessing he used the same bucket to refill the tank.
So in short DHIBU because he is not taking into account either yours and your daughters sensitivities or those of his fish

My husband has done exactly the same...used a bright white nappy pail with lid (expensive gift) for oil change, has taken a bucket and used it for cement..( he has no diy skills, so no idea why) has another one filled with old oil...my brother even gave me two spares to replace them, they've gone....
If children have been poorly, I've had to use a giant Ikea mixing bowl...joy! (Never used in the preparation of food)

I have a vom bucket. It's easier to thrust under a sickies nose than herding them to a toilet.

TBH if he's only drained fish juice into a vom bucket, you're fine if he hadn't used a bloody sharpie on it. He owes you a new bucket unless acetone takes the mark off.

And he needs to respect your actual stuff to is stuff. DH and I don't really have separate things but when we do, we appreciate the fact, especially when it came to fish juice.

I don't have a bucket.

FFS now I need a bucket.

Identical problem in our house. Of course he is being unreasonable.

However, rather than trying to train him at this stage I recommend to you my two solutions.

1. Hide your bucket
2. Accept that buckets are a consumable item in your house. Find a local supplier of cheap buckets. (Bucket shop? ) Every time dh finds and uses your bucket, mark it clearly (if not obviously used) so you know it is Tainted, and go buy another one immediately.

As someone else said, you should throw up in the toilet. Not the bloody bucket.

It's a bucket. Get a new one. They're about 2 quid.

LOL in true MN style ... new bucket or DTB

Why are people being sick in buckets and not toilets? Even toddler DC could make it to the toilet

Well the bug I had last week led to 2 issues that needed a bucket. One being that if I was sat on the loo, it was impossible to simultaneously throw up into said loo, so it was a bucket on my knees job. Second being that a couple of times I didnt make it to the loo to be sick as it was so fast coming on, so I kept a bucket beside me at all times.

There is being sick and then there is Norovirus. Norovirus needs buckets.

You have just reminded me of the blue 'sick bowl' my DM provided for me and my siblings when ill...then got out again for apple bobbing every Halloween.

Also, yanbu. He must buy you a bucket and you must be clear that if he ever takes it again, he will have to die.

For those of you who vomit into the loo every time, what do you do when both ends are going together?

No no no! I am enraged on your behalf.
I have precisely this problem (not with fish though). My bucket always must:
1)Be kept accessible at all times in case of overnight sickness
2) Never be used for garden or garage stuff
I lost my shit one night when I started to be sick overnight and looked for my bucket at 2am, my dh sheepishly admitted it was full of wall paper paste in the back garden. This was the second time he had pulled this stunt.
OP you must issue severe bollockings to ensure this does not happen again!!

HIBU.

I have a dedicated sick bucket too. Others are cleanish, but used for cleaning floors etc. My sick bucket has to be perfectly clean. I start to feel sick(er) if it even has fluff in

I am usually sick in the loo, but I'm having chemo and it pays to keep my bucket nearby. It joins me on all car journeys too. I wouldn't be sick in the bucket by choice, but it's better than being sick on the floor or something

On a similar subject, I was once visiting a relative and had to collect a urine sample. Relative helpfully provided me with a Pyrex jug from the kitchen cupboard

We use carrier bags in buckets for the DC when sick as we live in an older house and the only toilet is downstairs at back of house. The DC would have to hold the sick in from their bedroom along the landing down the stairs through the 2 room lounge then through the kitchen into the bathroom...no chance

HIDBU btw.

I'm with mindreader on this.

The fish need their own bucket & stuff which is never contaminated with detergent.

You need a bucket which is never contaminated with fish.

Our sick bucket is an old catering-sized yogurt tub. Can be bleached. My fish have naice bucket.

Your DH is being unreasonable to both his fish and lady folk.

On a similar subject, I was once visiting a relative and had to collect a urine sample. Relative helpfully provided me with a Pyrex jug from the kitchen cupboard

Nothing wrong with that.