To think DD is never going to be able to drive!?

[hippopt]

DD has been coming out with me all year (turned 18 yesterday) so been doing it 11 months, she still can't drive forward. She just keeps stalling the car. She has moved a couple of times but that's about it. 11 months!!!

Automatic.
Dual control car so she knows the instructor will brake if she goes too fast or does anything dangerous.

I never recommend learning from a family member, I wasted nearly a year and had to start from scratch with instructor or rather it was worse since I as already picked up some bad habits. Took another 7 months with instructor .

But when hubby got an automatic a few years ago, that's 15 years after passing, I never drive a manual, wish I had learnt in an auto, so much easier.

Are you a professional driving instructor with a duel controlled car?

No, thought not.

Seriously why do people think they are as good as professional experienced people? Her lack of progress kind of proves you're not...

I agree - she needs professional lessons to get her started. Once she knows what she is doing you will be able to take her out.

I agree get a professional to teach her, they are trained to get the best out of their students and are able to figure out where they are going wrong and how to fix it. My instructor years ago was brilliant, wouldn't have been the same having a parent or family member try to teach me.

I think people can believe that learning with a parent first and getting the basics nailed, then polishing up with a (pricey) instructor for the test with one or two lessons can be enough. But it isn't for most people- the relationship is too close and there's too much temptation to lose your temper, show exasperation, or simply instil bad habits or out of date methods that could lose someone their test.

Driving is mostly about confidence and if you're getting into the car thinking, "I'm rubbish, even mum thinks I'm crap, she'll start tutting and rolling her eyes if I stall again", it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.

She needs proper lessons. I will bet my last penny she learns more with them in 1 lesson than you've taught her in a whole year

Some people regardless of instruction or teaching will never be able to drive.

If she's genuinely only moved the car forward a couple of times, she really hasn't been 'coming out with you' for 11 months, has she? She's been sitting on the drive for 11 months.

I find it impossible to believe that you have been persevering for 11 months without her ever moving the car forward more than a couple of times, but assuming this isn't a weird fabrication, just get her some proper lessons; what you're doing is ruining her confidence.

Echo everyone else, you need to pay a professional, this is what they do and they know how to deal with nervous beginners. I took a long time to learn to drive, and found being in the car with a parent really stressful even though they are both very patient and good teachers! It was feeling like I let them down every time I got it wrong, there's none of that with someone whose job it is to teach people to drive. You need to find an instructor she likes and trusts and it will come from there. Good luck to her, some people find it so much harder than others!

Another vote for automatic car. It's so, so much easier and they're very prevalent now so she won't miss out on anything by not learning to drive a manual. I LOVE my automatic (and I drove a manual for 20 years).

I think it says more about your poor instruction than lack of skill tbh.

I share the view she'll come on leaps and bounds in lessons with a professional, in a manual or auto.

Are you always this disparaging of her abilities?

I was learning for 18 years (on and off) and passed 2 years ago on my 5th test in an automatic. I still am shit at driving and would never go on a motorway. Driving isn't for everyone. I wish more people would accept that rather than persevering and driving dangerously badly. Why do we expect everyone to be able to do something so hard and potentially fatal?

I've been driving for a couple of years, but the couple of times I've been driving with my dad, I've gone to bits.

When I passed he came out with me when I bought my car, and I was in bits every time, constantly stalling, making stupid mistakes, driving terribly. I was a nervous wreck. My nan said to go out by myself and give it a go and I was fine. Some people just put you off.

Seriously, for whatever reason you're putting her off, and she'll end up with no confidence left. Get her lessons.

I think it might be a bit too soon to write her off MrsKoala! As a pp said she's just been sitting on the drive stalling for 11 months.

I take your point though, driving is definitely not for everyone. In my experience learning young is best! My mum learned late and hates it/avoids it at all costs.

Oh sorry - i wasn't meaning that about her specifically (i agree a professional would be much better as a teacher) just general musings on the insistence that everyone can learn to drive - which is very hard!

I always make the most basic of errors - like hitting the kerb - when i drive DH. No idea why. I've even pulled over and told him to drive before because i have gone to bits.

Took me 16 months of 2 hour weekly paid lessons to feel confident enough to even consider my test. I had real issues with reversing and couldn't understand which way to turn .......passed first time though and been driving 12 years without incident. I'd would have hated having a relative teach me.

She needs a proper driving instructor or she'll never learn.

What do you want out of your thread?

People have said YABU, get her a person who is trained to teach driving. You are not.

Not sure what else can be said here really.

Get her professional lessons. She knows that she's the only one in control of the car with you, she's afraid of putting her foot on the accelarator in case she makes a mistake - you can't save her. With an instructor, with dual controls, she'll have a safety net which may increase her confidence. It's got to be at least worth a go surely?

She probably doesn't need an automatic car, but she does need a professional instructor. It took me 18 months to learn to drive and I passed at age 27. She's probably got no confidence because you keep getting annoyed with her

The poor girl. Do you think maybe she's picked up on your irritation with her?

My Dad tried to teach me when I was 17.

Probably why I didn't pass my test until I was 32.

And I don't think our relationship ever completely recovered.

Are you "teaching" her in a petrol or a diesel?

Diesels are a lot more difficult to stall because they have more torque at lower revs, most instructors use diesels.

I expect she would do a lot better with someone who knows how to teach someone to drive.