To think ds will have to learn the hard way if he keeps being so careless

[Thefishewife]

Ds wil have to learn the hard way if he keeps being so cAreless

So far we had him lose his £195 buss pass two days after he got it we told him that tbh we wouldn't be able to replace it even though it's for collage that would have been nearly £400 in one week and that would not have been viable for us luckily he was able to replace it for £10 he had to pay for that out of his wages

Then he lost his ID card for the train and he refused to replace it after me telling him to replace it then he got caught by the train inspector without it and was fined £65 plus £10 for a new card we made him pay that so this month he pretty much worked for nothing because he has to put £50 towards his savings and £35 keep

Then today he's come home and lost his keys he not even borthering to look for them that's fine but he will now have to wait until next months wage to get a key cut to be honest we can't afford to keep subbing his carelessness

Yesterday he lost a new tub of cream in his room because it's so messy and simply just went to get a new one instead of looking for the one he lost and we also wondered why he was going through a can of deodorant every two days yes every two days because not only is he using it under his arms he's using it as Boady fucking spray

I have told him to ask for more body spray if he needs it and not just use the deodorant because he can't be arsed to ask for some and have limited him to 2 cans a month because dh and I use the same one and are only using 1 can every 8 or 9 days I one bottle of cream every 3 weeks

He's being so careless in part because he's only paying a nominal charge in keep I feel he's also doing things like leaving the lids of foods or not putting things back in the fridge yesterday he left the cheese out so it went off. I only did a food shop on Saturday and I already have to buy more bloody cheese though I am not going to because I can't afford to really re buy anything he just thinks it's a massive bloody joke

He has also got into a habit if simply chucking clothing away if he can't be borthered to wash them 😳

I don't know why he's like this I a very frugle also we don't spoil him he has a job so you would think he would want to actually keep some of his wage rather than spend it replacing things he lost of broken during the month

poster Ahickiefromkinickie

He works 2 days a week Friday evening he's not at challged on Fridays and all day Saturday

All I can say is your son must feel really unwelcome. You won't let him spend his own money because you want him to save for a deposit. Fair enough but you can't force him to do what you want with his own money. Are you just planning to throw him out when he reaches an age you think is to old to be living with you because that's how it comes across

That wouldn't make him feel unwelcome

And the young man is 16, not 6!

If he's old enough to be working, he's old enough to be treated like an adult.

There are plenty of 16 year olds loving away from the family home. Doesn't mean they aren't loved or wanted

Can't believe some of the posts on here.
I think the op is doing her son a huge favour by encouraging him to save for his future. I wish my parents had done that for me.

I think he is young yes he is careless but he will learn I wouldn't be bailing him out I'm confused why you are taking money from a student then give it back in deodorant let him keep his money and let him learn to budget you are expecting him to behave like an adult he really is still a teenager frustrating as it is.

Dd1 managed to work save money keep a car going gp to college without me taking money from her

The old rule, 1/3 rent, 1/3 savings and 1/3 to spend as you wish did lots of people good, wish I'd been encouraged to learn this way. Stop replacing his things, but also make sure he has some money to himself to buy the things he needs, that's what'll teach him the value of money, not some seemingly irrelevant number in a savings account

He is 16 and works 2 days a week it's not his fault you are skint you might be entitled to benefit because of his age will take some financial stress off you in the meantime get him to tidy his bloody room there will be a million tons of deodorant in the tip and possibly his house keys

If he is buying his own things then he will start to see the value of money

There are plenty of 16 year olds loving away from the family home. Doesn't mean they aren't loved or wanted

00100001, but that typo made me

I'm still a bit unclear as to what your son does - works two days a week, and what about the rest? Is he at college or an apprenticeship?

It's good that you want him to save, but it's pointless if he doesn't understand the costs of life. Fair enough sorting him with initial costs of things like bus passes, but at 16 with an income, he needs to pay the consequences of his carelessness. He is old enough to live on his own (some of my friends did at 16/ 17), marry with parental consent and join the army.

Hopefully he should grow out of it, and you clearly have the best intentions for him, but there are some adults that never learn to be responsible for themselves and always expect their mother/ partner/ wife to deal with mundane life stuff while they do what they like and hoard their own money.