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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dress my 7 year old

18 replies

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 28/11/2016 17:25

DD struggles with getting dressed (not physically, she's more than capable) but gets herself into a state about clothes being uncomfortable etc (we are probably going to try to get an OT assessment for possible sensory issues).
She is far more tolerant of apparently itchy socks and pants if we help her get dressed and I'm now wondering if we just give in for a while and help her as much as she wants rather than endless battles which stress everyone out especially when we are rushed for time.
i don't know if I've explained myself very well but we have tried giving her extra time (she seems worse as it just gives her more time to make a fuss), we've tried reward charts, consequences etc. Nothing actually helps so I wonder if by taking all the drama out of it we might be able to make it less of an issue.

OP posts:
Josephinebloggs · 28/11/2016 17:31

Good lord yes. If it takes the stress away then dress her.

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 28/11/2016 17:35

Grin it just seems like such an obvious solution now

OP posts:
Josephinebloggs · 28/11/2016 17:37
Grin
cheeseandcrackers · 28/11/2016 17:39

I would just dress her for a bit to break the pattern of getting dressed = battle. It'll make life easier for everyone for a while and then you can start to work on her getting dressed herself again in a few weeks

drspouse · 28/11/2016 17:45

We have some of this though DS is only 4. We started with "pants on to have breakfast" about 18 months ago, now he will put on his school clothes to be able to have breakfast and his jumper and shoes to be able to have some screen time before we set off for school.

Have you tried little incentives like that? I'm still working on clothes the right way round/pulled up/pulled down (jumper is often under his armpits/trousers showing 2 inches of pants/wrong way round).

QwertyKeyboard · 28/11/2016 17:48

We are in the same boat. Also looking to get her sensory issues looked at but no idea how! I gave up and dress her most mornings now.

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 28/11/2016 18:27

Dr spouse-yes have tried things like that but partly she isn't that motivated by breakfast and partly the issue is exacerbated if she's hungry (she doesn't recognise this of course!) Shes's not straightforward!

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MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2016 18:30

We had this with socks. The screaming heebie jeebies when she had to put them on (or DH) Zen-like calm when I did. I put them on.

drspouse · 28/11/2016 19:58

Would post-breakfast work with a bribe of story/playing/screen time then?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 28/11/2016 20:05

I don't have sensory issues but I was a very fussy dresser around her age. Didn't like any t-shirts with anything sewn on them, didn't like clothes tags, etc.

Can you ask her to choose what she would like to wear then do a reward/sticker chart for dressing herself?

But if you're happy with dressing her then just keep doing it.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 28/11/2016 20:06

Sorry I'm being daft, I've seen you tried a reward chart xx

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 28/11/2016 20:41

Mrsterrypratchett-please tell me she grew out of it??

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harderandharder2breathe · 28/11/2016 20:47

I was gonna say yabu but given what you said about possible sensory issues I think yanbu

After assessment hopefully you'll be able to formulate a plan going forwards though as dressing her isn't a long term solution

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/11/2016 20:50

She did grow out of it. At six so earlier than yours but it was a long and hard road! Now she puts in her own (very specific brands) clothes. We started with 'mummy does one, you do the other'.

No idea what we will do when she grows out of the knickers she wears. There's no bigger size and she won't wear any others...

Yoarchie · 28/11/2016 20:52

I don't like clothing unless it's soft and comfortable. Therefore all my kids clothing is similar.

I do often dress my 8yo on a school morning to avoid wasting any precious seconds! We all need to spent those asleep. She had to wear a buttoned shirt instead of a polo now she's in juniors so it's just quicker for me to do it.

FeelingSmurfy · 28/11/2016 21:01

The only problem is pe in school, will it make that worse?

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 28/11/2016 21:06

She doesn't have problems at school apparently -either because she doesn't have to change underwear or because she wouldn't make such a fuss in front of her friends.
We did think she'd grown out of it-helped by soft pants from m&s but I think it resurfaces when she needs a bit of extra attention anyway so I'm definitely going to go with making both of our lives easier in the short term and then review in a few weeks.

OP posts:
drspouse · 28/11/2016 21:28

Our school has them all come in their PE kit on PE day. So sensible!

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