To absolutely hate sharing a bed

[sparklefarts]

Now don't get me wrong, I lOVE waking up to my other half all naked and warm and being able to have a cuddle, but, why oh why did we ever have to start sharing beds?!?
I fidget a lot and due to back problems use extras pillows for my body so getting comfy involves me needing my own space.
I hate any light and since having a baby any noise drives me nuts and I cannot sleep. Heavy breathing Ina silent room or flaming snoring drives me nuts!

Am constantly torn between wanting to be near my OH and having a 'normal' healthy relationship and wanting to just piss off into my own room!

You need a 6ft bed OP. Basically 2 singles zipped and linked together. Sooo much room.

Can't help with noise/ light issues though...

You need a Super king. Its almost like you are sleeping in different rooms

Oh I would love a super massive huge bed! Alas, the place we currently rent wouldn't really fit one in the bed room ...darn

We've got a 6 ft bed. Still disturb each other most nights. Harder to sleep with DH than it was when I used to spend half my time in with the DDs.

I mostly agree OP.

We've a super-king (is that 6'?). That means that there's room for two behind my husband whilst he snuggles up to me on the edge of my side the bed. It drives me fucking crazy. He's hairy / itchy and pokes me with his willy every morning.

It drives me crazy.

But, if he goes out, is working nights or for some other reason isn't snoring there at bedtime (as he's invariably asleep within a minute of lying down), I'm wide awake for hours.

You can of course have a "healthy" relationship and have separate rooms.

Separate rooms are the way forward. We have guests at the monent so are back in together. To be fair I didn't hear him breathing.

We have a six foot bed but still sleep apart - I really cannot understand how people sleep when they have to share a bed. If you can - separate rooms is a must.

YANBU, sharing a bed is dreadful. I put off moving in with DP for ages and ages because I couldn't cope wth sharing a bed every night.

I am used to it now, although once a week or so one of us sleeps in the spare room or on the sofa, & it is lovely 😀

I sleep far better with my partner than I do alone despite the fact that he usually migrates towards the middle and snores like a train at time, I hate the nights we sleep apart.

There is nothing wrong with separate rooms. If I hadn't got used to sharing a bed I would certainly do this. It makes for a better relationship if you're not resenting each other!

I'm with you OP. My DH snores, farts, wakes me up multiple times at night and I sleep so much better when he's not there!

How long have you been together?

It took me a while to get used to sharing a bed (about 2 years) but now I love it. I used to sleep on the edge of my side with a pillow in the middle, now I sleep in DH's arms and force him to roll over and hug me after I'm up for night feeds. I've also trained him to roll over if he snores or breathes heavily.

You could try a memory foam mattress, when one sleeper moves it doesn't cause vibrations across the whole bed. They are meant to be good for bad backs too. One potential disadvantage is that they retain heat which was fine when we first got one but not so good now I have reached the age of hot flushes.

My prescription:

• 6ft bed if you can fit it
• separate duvets
• audiobooks on all night. If he doesn't like it, get one of those pillow speakers
• memory foam

Separate rooms. If not every night, then occasional nights for a catch-up on sleep. Got into the habit when we first had DS1 and it is fabulous for my well-being. DH sleeps well wherever, I wake up at slightest noise/touch. Sleeping apart has not prevented conception of DS2! Definitely the way to save a marriage and does not signal the breakdown of it as so many people would believe.

Sleeping together is overated. I hate it now. At first when DH started sleeping elsewhere I hated it, now it's been so long, if we go away I can't sleep properly with him there. Combination of issues, I snore like a motorbike apparently, our bed gives DH a bad back and we are pretty sure he has restless leg syndrome so he twitches and fidgets at night. I love sleeping on my own. I can't say it's really helped our relationship if I'm honest.

I've also trained him to roll over if he snores or breathes heavily.

Good Lord. Offer training sessions to others and you'll be minted.

Get a super massive huge bed and two single quilts , that should do the trick :-)

If its an issue then nip it in the bud now

I'd give my right arm to have my own bed in my own room. I'd be able to go to bed whenever I felt like it without waking/being woken by dh. I could sleep in the middle and starfish. The only snoring nose would be mine and I don't hear myself. No farting. Unfortunately we have no spare rooms but when the dc move out in 20 odd years because I'm having the other double room.

Am so glad I'm not the only one!!

We've been together nearly 3 years, it was fine until I had the baby. I used to go to sleep before him and that would be that, but now the slightest noise wakes me and I can't get back to sleep.

emmanuelcant - I'd love a bit more willy poking in the morning hahahahah

Thankfully it's not really an issue (at least not yet) I'm just starting to think that I need to figure out a way to not wake up. I'm going to try headphone headband thing and play white noise.