This will be our third year apart and last night I emailed him to confirm that we are doing what we have done the last 2 years - him coming round to the family home for most of the day. He said yes but he wants to organise the food this time.
I think this is ridiculous. We are doing this so he can spend time with the dc and they can have Christmas in their main home with both parents, not so he can show off in the kitchen and control what we eat. History is that throughout our marriage he claimed not to care much about Christmas - it was 'nonsense' and he 'couldn't remember' how it had been for him as a child etc etc. Nonetheless, we had to have his family round every single year (despite the fact it was no big deal to them 
). I admit I did used to insist on having my say on what we ate - traditional roast with twist (neither of us liked turkey), and he used to go on about wanting fish/seafood/curry but I did dig my heels in. Doesn't mean I got my way on everything though; for instance, I didn't choose for him to sleep with a mutual friend in our bed for over 2 years.
Anyway, I really don't want him arsing around in my kitchen on Christmas day cooking a meal I don't want/ However, he is already starting to get nasty about the split now he realises divorce is inevitable and I kind of feel like I should just accept it to keep the peace. AIBU to want to tell him it's my menu or he can't come. I would then want him to take the dc 26th -29th and would have to accept that next year they would spend the big day with him 
.