To not want move house

[ginorwine]

Dh and I have agreed that our 4 storey house is too big and too much maintenance
We have looked for alternative property in our city and we really really don't like other area than ours . It's full of bars theatre etc and really trendy .
To get a smaller house in our area which is only 6 streets of varying size terraces you either have large - can't afford . Medium - ours or v v small .
I was brought up in a detervhed house and am really really noise sensitive . I can hear neighbours both sides talking , sex etc .
Have looked every area other than ours - have to drive everywhere and it's just houses nothing else . Here we have a small theatre community centre deli etc .
So we agreed let's get an easier to manage house in another area which is a 6 min train ride away and it has the sea 5 min from house . Saw a very good condition semi with lovely garden two streets from train station to out area . We put offer in as the prop was being fought over .
Went there today it's beautif but very conservative in nature - lots of retired folk . Quiet .
I felt like I had swallowed a stone emotionally .
This is a god decision - logically . Good house
Good area
But boring to me .
We are in our mid 50 s and we love music theratre but cd cone on train for it ! But we just don't want a tiny house here -and our size is just too big .
It's v v hard to buy here as it is v v popular bro g full of academics profs and a certain vibe . If we leave ( been here 14 or so years ) we won't afford to move again
. Am terrified .

User how can you tell I'm happy 😄M doubting myself here
And confusing myself !!! Feeling confused etc .

It's just the way you speak of the area OP. I also love the city and love to be in arty areas....it's a bit deadening living in the suburbs isn't it?

Why not just live in your gently rotting house for as long as you can? Genteel poverty....cobble it together when you can and as best as you can.

Make one of the DC do a plastering and joinery course

It might be a worry now and then when things go wrong...as in windows or needing scaffolding, but I think that no situation is perfect and you're always going to have a downside to any choice.

Your choices are live in a large, slightly hard to maintain house you love...or a semi in a place you don't love but without the worry of constant maintenance.

I think your current house sounds lovely. I'd live in that myself.

Thanks user
I do love this area
You are right that for me , as you , the suburb feel somehow alien to me - I did feel a bit dead and as I'd swallowed a stone !
This house isn't perfect being mid terraced I can hear thro the walls and there is an oddity of the atea which I'd love to get away from which is that there is access across the garden for neighbours n tradespeople so it's nit private at all - but the area is v friendly ( it has to be ) and it's very arty etc !

Ps genteel poverty sounds quite nice !!you have a way with words!

I wouldn't move OP.

To live in an area you are not happy in and a house you are not happy in would be so stressful to come home to all the time. Do not underestimate that feeling.

We are now in our final house, it's ugly and not the converted farmhouse with acres I always hoped for (deluded) but our area is expensive, the house we are making our own and we love the area so that's the sacrifice. We could move areas and have a much bigger house but we love this village and to be happy with your location is VERY important.

Thanks all
My dh is desp to move there he says he loves the garden and wants a garage to tinker in and a drive to put our vintage caravan on
I feel like I've swallowed a heavy stone !

The area is lovely 5 min from sea
But not ''tis lovely quirky area 😞

He looking at long term

You have used the expression "swallowed a stone" twice. Stay in your house which sounds great. I think it will a hard act to follow.

...will be a hard act to follow...

You can't seriously live in a house that you can't afford to maintain. You already compromise on several things with your current house so why is it so difficult to compromise on different things with the next house ?

Could you rent at first and that way you wouldn't be so tied up with it being a final move ?

Where is this place where a four-storey house is medium-sized???

You don't sound as though you should move, OP.

User it's all small rooms on top of each other e.g. No hall way
It's the same space as a semi but tall like a phone box . The entire house width is 12 foot wide as is garden .

Stairs go up middle of house .

Don't do it, we moved from an area on the outskirts of a big city that sounds similar to a beautiful conservative village and eventually had to admit we hated it. Stay put for a while longer, the right thing will turn up locally you just need to be patient.

Blistory
Yes I think I'm panic about the things I love about this house but forgetting the things I struggle with
So here is my balance sheet of pros and cons
Not slept so will just come out as I think
Pro of current house
We love the area
It's arty friendly beautiful visually
View from house is if coast castle river
Kids brought up here v happy house
I love my bedroom with above views
And kitchen which is the ground floor with wood burner in it
Ten min walk to work
All my friends except 2 here literally 2 doors away
Beautiful park 5 min away
Con
Neighbours are allowed to walk accross my garden to put bins out
As I get older it really bugs me as when I'm in the kitchen having cuppa they walk right by me .
My neigbour has built a 10 x 10 garden room right next to my shed at bottom of garden which for long time has been my hide from the world place - he plans to use it to read but also play his guitar .
With having 4 storeys it is difficult to decorate as the rooms are high ceilings and we have double height rooms at the top (which I love ) as we removed the ceiling and put velux in . My husband struggles to keep up with the house as all 8 windows are hardwood and need maintanance and he has been trying to paint them via inside leaning out as scaffolding wd be needed otherwise . The radiators are all old n inefficient . But we love the house . The next size down here is a two up two down with most houses having the same access accross the back .
Our idea was to live in the city but different area but we don't like any as you can hear a motorway or it's just houses no centre and a 20 min walk to town . We like to walk to a centre if poss.
The other house .
Pro
Wide private garden , completely enclosed .
Small paddock at back . Not attatched to property but peaceful . Overlooked minimally .
Hall . New kitchen . French doors to garden . New boiler and heating . Detatched garage and drive to put out garavan on . Quiet area . Five min walk from sea . Village street to buy veg , bread .seaside resort 5 min drive and old fashioned park two streets away .
Con
I'm not sure I like semis
The area is very conservative politically and in nature - curtain twitch area . It's v same y - ( in our area we have families kids academics students artists etc )it feels like middle aged land ( well I am in 50 s)
Pretty twee but boring but I can get back to my city in 6 mins on a cute little local train ( am afraid that I will feel left out of my area ( freq parties at Christmas ,neigbour s open houses etc often ) and will spend all time come back . We left the area once and came back as missed the community feel but that was wen we had kids and its a different stage of life .
My dh feels it's time to go as unless we do there will be windows to replace and we will have to pay decorators as the really really gates it . The walls are all new and smooth at other house it's completely re furbished . Our house has bumby walls some of which need plastering .
I kno the other area us ' nice ' and is easy to live in as it's flat as on the coast.
The thing that does appeal to me is the private garden . And to be able to put my caravan on the drive and to sit in it !

Mitford I get your point I really do !
5 min up road to other place are our one set of pals who live outside our area and they are both self employed creatives - they love it there but they live in a more challenging area ( for me ) traditional working class kariokey pubs , high % unemployment cf other places - typical of seasonal seaside town .

List pro cons cont
So we have looked and looked in our area and dh says too many compromise for him - lack privacy garden - back houses . Terraced ( cf semi ) he wants a garage and a drive which does not exist in our area as they are all either large mid or small terraced . He says he wants an easy convenient house now . ( rather than a beautiful mad one but he will miss the views. He says he ready to go)

Crikey that was a long rant 😜

It's basically peace n quiet n ease v fab old drafty house in much loved area ( v unknown area )!